“Did you do that?” she asked her son, and he feigned innocence.

“Do what?”

“Bring that guy in, with the line of hair products. Did you have anything to do with that, Johnny?”

“I have better things to do than fix Becky's mom up with a blind date. That is not why I came here,” he said, looking dignified well beyond his years.

But Alice was not convinced. “I just wondered.”

Bobby smiled when he saw her hair, when they picked him up at school that afternoon. Johnny sat in the backseat with him, and the radio was still blaring on the way home, as Johnny sang to the music, and Bobby nodded. He loved having Johnny around again. Everything around him was always so full of life, and full of fun. As a child Bobby's age, Johnny had loved getting into mischief. And he was no different now. He was obviously having a good time being home, and visiting Bobby and his mother. So much so that when he went home, he took Bobby out to the backyard and shot some baskets with him. They were still out there when Charlotte came home, looking glum, having flunked her French test. But she smiled when she saw Bobby trying valiantly to sink a basket. She couldn't see her older brother, standing only inches away.

“Here, let me show you how,” she said, taking the ball from him. She dribbled it a few times, and then sank it neatly on the first try, and showed her brother how she did it.

“Look at that, she's great!” Johnny said admiringly, as Bobby turned to look at him with a grin, and Charlotte watched them.

“Why are you looking behind me?” Charlie asked him. “You have to keep your eye on the basket. Look at where you want to throw the ball, not over my shoulder.”

“She's right,” Johnny corrected him. “Stop looking at me, and do what she tells you. She's better at this than I am.” Watching them from the window, Alice smiled to see all of her children standing under the basketball hoop together. She knew it might be the last time she'd ever see that. Knowing it made her sad, but seeing them there like that made her grateful for the moment. And she was still feeling the warmth of seeing them when Jim walked in half an hour later. He said he had something important to tell her.

“We got two new clients today,” he said with a look of amazement. “They're both new businesses, and we're going to get a lot of work from them, to help them get set up. This could make a real difference to us.”

“Really?” she said, looking pleased, and realizing suddenly what Johnny had been up to all day. A man for Pam, potentially, a date for Becky the night before, Charlotte seemed to be taking Bobby under her wing. And Jim had two new clients. Not bad for a seventeen-year-old brand-new angel.

She complimented Johnny on all the work he'd done, before he went up to Bobby's room that night, after dinner. He said he would be going out soon, because he wanted to drop in on Becky.

“I just hope Buzz drives better than I do,” he said to his mother, and she looked at him in horror.

“That's an awful thing to say,” she scolded him, and he smiled and bent to kiss her before he left for the evening. She stood in the kitchen for a minute after he left, thinking about him. She just hoped he didn't do his jobs too fast. She was in no hurry for him to leave them, and neither was he now.





Chapter 7


Becky's first date with Buzz Watson went well, in spite of the fact that she talked about Johnny most of the evening. He took her to a movie, and out for a hamburger at Joe's Diner. It had been their destination the night Johnny had died, and everyone's favorite hangout while they were in school. And she told him about the years she and Johnny had spent going together all through high school. Johnny sat next to her for a while, listening to them, and he smiled at the memories she talked about. Listening to her, their time together seemed even more perfect now. She looked straight at him once or twice, but couldn't see him, and he somewhat grudgingly admitted to himself that Buzz was a nice guy. He had thought he was kind of stuck up when they were in school. He was one of the few “rich kids” who attended their high school, his father owned a successful chain of liquor stores all over southern California, his family went to Europe every summer, and he had always driven good cars.

Buzz was patient as he listened to Becky, and said that he had always thought Johnny was a great kid, although he didn't know him well. He didn't try to change the subject, or try to stop the flow of memories that tumbled from her like a waterfall. Her eyes filled with tears a couple of times, and when they did, Buzz gently took her hand.

He didn't get fresh with her on the drive home, and he told her about UCLA. He said he was going back the following semester, but his father had been sick that summer and had needed him to stay home to help at his stores. He was the oldest son, and had been working for his father for two months every summer, and during holidays and vacations ever since he was fourteen. He seemed to know a lot about the business, and chatted with her briefly about good wines, explaining some of their fine points to her. They went to France for a month every summer so his father could visit the vineyards, and he had learned a lot while he was there with him, more than the other kids, who, so far at least, weren't interested in his father's stores.

And he was obviously very taken with Becky. She was as pretty as he remembered her. He said he had once thought about inviting her to the prom, but knew he couldn't because of Johnny. He teased her about it, and said she didn't even know he was alive back then, which made her smile.

“Yes, I did. I just didn't think you liked me.” She'd taken a French class with him once, but his friends were two years older than she was, and she'd been pretty shy.

“I figured Johnny would kill me if I asked you out,” he said, laughing. “Besides, why would you have wanted me? He was a football star.” But there was a lot about Buzz she liked now. He was sensible, mature, intelligent, good-looking, and he was more sophisticated and grown up than Johnny had been. He was nearly twenty-one, and to Becky he was not so much a boy as a man. “I had a good time tonight, Becky,” he said gently. “I know it must be hard for you going out with someone else, after all this time.” Johnny was the only boy she'd ever dated, the only one she'd ever loved, but there was no changing the fact that he was gone, and at some point, she had to move on. She said she didn't think she was ready to yet, but she had enjoyed talking to Buzz all evening, hearing about UCLA, his friends, his father's business, and the time he'd spent in France. He liked kids too, and like her, he had a lot of brothers and sisters. He was the oldest of six, and she was the oldest of five. Despite their different financial circumstances, they had a lot in common, and he asked if she'd like to have dinner with him again, on Saturday night.

“I'd really like that, Buzz,” she said simply, as he helped her out of his car. He was driving the Mercedes his father had bought him when he left for UCLA two years before. He had told her that night that he was majoring in economics, and he was thinking about going to graduate school and getting an M.B.A. one day. And she had said she was going to try for a scholarship again in the spring, and hoped she could go to college in the fall. But in the meantime, she was happy working at the drugstore, and helping her mom with the other kids. It was enough for now.

He suggested a French restaurant for Saturday night that she'd heard of, but never been to. Along with his knowledge of fine wines, he had a weakness for French food.

“How does that sound?” he asked, as he walked her to her front door. “Or would you rather just go to the drive-in and a movie? I thought maybe doing something different might be fun.” It sounded like he could be happy either way. Johnny was leaning against a tree, listening to him while Buzz asked her, and he wanted to hate him for it. But somehow he couldn't pull it off, he was happy for Becky that Buzz wanted to spoil her a little bit. He couldn't even tell himself that Buzz was stuck up, because he wasn't, and it was obvious even to him that he liked Becky a lot. She turned and looked at Buzz solemnly as they reached her front door.

“I'm sorry I talked about Johnny a lot,” she said softly, “I just miss him so much. Everything's so different now without him.”

“It's okay,” he said gently. “It's okay, Becky. I understand.”

She nodded, and he held the front door for her as they went in, and a minute later he came out alone, and drove away, as Johnny stood watching the Mercedes disappear down the street, and then turned slowly and went home.

His mother was in bed, reading, when he got there, and she looked up at him with a smile. “Where've you been all night?” It was the same thing she would have asked him any other night when he came home, when he was alive.

“Out with Becky.” As he said it, he looked sad. And more like a boy than a man.

“Didn't you tell me she had a date tonight?” She looked puzzled, and she could see that he was sad.

“Yeah. With Buzz Watson. He's kind of a nice guy.”

“Did you just follow them around all night?” She looked worried as she asked him. It didn't sound like a great idea to her, or a happy circumstance for him, even now.

“No. I just had dinner with them, and then I did some other stuff, and I waited at the house while he dropped her off.”

“Come over here,” Alice said, patting the bed next to her, and he sat down. “Why did you do that?” She was concerned for her son, and the look in his eyes.

“I just wanted to make sure he was being nice to her.”