"It is a comfort. I begin to feel very comfortable. But what is the time?"
He drew out his watch and as she looked at it she exclaimed in horror. "I shall have overstayed my time!"
"What does it matter?"
"I may be sent packing right away."
"That is no longer a tragedy."
"But I am still unsure."
"Come on then. We'll make our way back with all speed. When you agree to marry me I want it to be simply because that is what you wish. I want you to be sure."
"I see how well you understand me," she said, "and I am grateful."
He took her arm and they hurried through the gardens and out to the streets.
Listening to the clop-clop of the horse's hoofs as the hansom carried them to the Lavenders' house, Melisande felt that it had been one of the most important afternoons of her life.
She mounted the steps to the house with trepidation. She was an hour late. There would be recriminations. She must keep her temper; she must not be forced to a decision now. If she were to marry Thorold she must be quite clear that it was what she wanted.
She went to the sitting-room, framing an apology. She knocked.
A voice said: "Come in!" and uneasily she entered, for it was not Mrs. Lavender, but Mr. Lavender who had spoken.
He was sitting in an armchair when she entered, smoking a cigar. His quiff of yellow hair fell over his forehead and he was smiling. She felt a tremor of fear. She would have preferred stern looks.
He said: "Ah, Miss Martin. You are looking for Mrs. Lavender?"
"Yes," she said hesitating at the door.
"Come in," he said. "Come in."
She shut the door behind her and advanced two paces. Then she stood there waiting.
He took the big gold watch from his pocket and looked at it. "Why," he said, "you are late."
"I am sorry. I came to say that I was delayed."
"Oh? Delayed? I can understand how such a charming young lady as yourself might be delayed."
"I will go to Mrs. Lavender's bedroom. I expect she will be needing me."
"She's resting. There's no reason why she need know you are late. No need at all ... unless someone tells her."
"Oh ... I see."
"I wonder if you do?" he said. "But of course you do. You must have realized that I want to help you, to be your friend."
"That is good of you, but ..."
"But? You are too modest, Miss Martin. Too retiring. I have been wondering why you keep so aloof from me when you are prepared to be so very friendly with Thorold Randall."
"I have no wish to be other than friendly with anyone."
"Oh come now, deliberately misunderstanding! You're cleverer than that. I wish to be very friendly with you, Miss Martin. Very friendly indeed. That's why I want to help you ... on occasions like the present one. You ought to be grateful to me, you know."
She hated him. There was something in his demeanour which reminded her of Fermor. The peace of the afternoon was completely wrecked. She felt the colour rise to her cheeks as she said sharply: "You must do as you wish about telling Mrs. Lavender that I am late, Mr. Lavender."
"Does that mean that you are not a bit grateful for my kind suggestion?"
"I merely said that you must do as you please about telling her."
"She might decide to dismiss you."
"As you suggest, that is a matter for her to decide."
"It is very difficult, you know, to find posts without references. If you were wise you would not turn away from ... friends. ..."
He had risen and was leering at her. She stepped back.
"Now, my dear," he said, "if you will be pleasant to me I will be pleasant to you."
Her fingers were on the door handle. She turned it and said quickly: "I must go."
And she went out.
In her attic she locked the door and leaned against it.
Her afternoon was spoiled. Mr. Lavender with his leers and insinuations had reminded her of the unpleasantness of the world.
Perhaps Mr. Lavender had something to do with her decision. He had not told Mrs. Lavender of her lateness; often she met his eyes and he would seem conspiratorial, as though there was a secret understanding between them. She was afraid of Mr. Lavender. Sometimes in the night she would awaken with a start. Had she remembered to lock her door ? She would get out of bed and with immense relief confirm that she had done so. There was really no need to fear that she had not done so. Never did she enter her room without thinking of him, without making sure that she was safe from him.
His eyes followed her; they would seem to say: "We're going to be friends ... very special friends."
She was afraid of him as the nuns in the Convent had been afraid. She locked her door; they shut themselves away from the world.
During the day he worried her no more than a wasp would have done. If she kept out of his way, made sure that she was prepared against his stings, what trouble could there be! It was only at night that the uneasiness came, and it came in dreams.
Thorold was a frequent visitor at the house; he spent a good deal of time with Mr. Lavender. They went to the races together; sometimes they watched boxing matches; they were interested in all sport. Thorold said that he came to the house only to see her; it was a good thing, he said, that he knew how to interest Archibald Lavender. He was clever too with Mrs. Lavender, so that she was always ready to welcome him.
A few weeks after he had first asked Melisande to marry him he repeated his proposal.
Melisande realized suddenly how empty her life would be if she lost his friendship. Mrs. Chubb, in whom she had confided, thought it was the best thing that had happened to anyone since she herself met Mr. Chubb. Mr. and Mrs. Gunter who saw 'the way the wind was blowing' were equally sure that it was a good thing.
"The fact is," said Mrs. Gunter, "you're not cut out to work for other people, my dear. You ought to be a lady with a maid of your own. That's my view and Gunter's."
It was folly to hesitate. There was tension now between herself and Mr. Lavender. His smile was less pleasant; there was in it a hint of impatience. He was so arrogant, she guessed, that he could not believe that she really disliked him. Her fears of the man were increasing with each day.
And so, when Thorold again asked her to marry him, she accepted the proposal.
His delight was so intense that it was infectious.
As they walked through the Park she felt gay, certain that the future would be good, sure that she had done the right thing.
"We must marry soon," he said.
Only then was she a little uneasy. "I think we should wait a little while."
"But why?"
"To ... to make sure that it is the right thing."
"I know it is the right thing."
"Yes, of course it is, but ..."
They seemed to mock her, all the other men whom she had known. How can you be sure? they seemed to ask. Haven't you thought at other times that you were doing the right thing ? Fermor seemed to ask: "What do you want? To escape from the Lavenders? Think again, Melisande. I may be looking for you. I may be waiting for you."
Thorold said: "You don't trust me."
"Oh, but I do."
"It worries me. It alarms me. You don't, you know. You won't even tell me the name of your father."
"I have decided I must never tell that to anyone. You see, he cares so much that it should be kept secret."
"I understand how you feel. But to a man who is to be your husband ... it seems such a little thing to tell."
She said: "He is so proud. He wanted no one to know about my birth. I shall never forget when he discovered that the servants were talking."
"That was in the country-, wasn't it?"
"Yes ... and it was then that I had to go away. You see, he is a good man, a respectable man, and his one lapse must have caused him so much pain and anxiety."
"Perhaps it caused your mother even greater pain and anxiety?"
"Perhaps. But he looked after her as he looked after me. My future was taken care of."
"It must have cost him a good deal; and then he would have given you a dowry."
"He is a rich man."
"And you won't trust me with his name?"
"Please understand me. I want no one to know it through me. Please, Thorold, don't ask me."
He kissed her hand. "Everything shall be as you wish. Now and for ever."
Mrs. Lavender said: "Mr. Lavender and I are going into the country for a few days, Martin."
"Oh yes, Madam."
"I thought of taking you, but I have decided against it. I shall manage without you for two or three nights." Mrs. Lavender looked sharply at Melisande. "Of course I don't expect you to be idle while I'm away. There is my lace dress which needs mending; there is a tear in the skirt. You'll need to be very careful with that. You might go through all my clothes while I'm away. Make sure that everything is in order. And you can wash those nightgowns and petticoats that need it. Oh ... and make me a flower of those pieces of velvet. .. mauve and green. It will go with my mauve gown."
"Yes, Madam. But I should like to make a black rose for the mauve dress."
"A black one!"
"I think so, Madam."
"Hideous!" said Mrs. Lavender. "Who ever heard of a black rose?"
"Perhaps it is just because one does not hear of them that they seem attractive. Besides, I was thinking how well the black would look on the mauve."
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