“I’m nervous,” she admitted.

“Nervous as in no?”

She stared into his dark eyes. He would stop if she told him to. He would walk away and never blame her.

“Nervous as in ‘Oh, God, what does he really think of me’?”

He leaned in and kissed her. “That kind of nervous I can handle.”

WALKER DRESSED while Elissa stepped into the shower. It was still dark outside and not much past four in the morning. They’d stayed up way too late making love and he knew she was going to spend her day exhausted. But based on the way she’d moaned and writhed beneath him, he was willing to bet she’d think the night had been a fair trade for sleep. Besides, it was Friday and the end of her workweek.

He considered going upstairs and sleeping for another hour, but then decided to get an early start on his day. He could-

His cell phone rang. He grabbed it, then studied the caller ID. Cal. Which meant…

“Hello?” he said. “Cal?”

“Penny’s in labor,” his brother said, sounding both excited and terrified. “We’re at the hospital. It’s going to be a few hours yet, but I wanted you to know we’re here.”

“Want me to come in now or wait?”

“You can wait. I’m staying pretty close to Penny, so you’d just be hanging out by yourself. But check back with me.”

“Will do. Tell her good luck and that I’ll be thinking about her.”

“Sure. I’m gonna call Reid. See you soon.”

Cal hung up. Elissa walked out of the bathroom, her hair pulled back and a large chicken staring at him from the front of her apron.

“Everything okay?” she asked. “Is it your grandmother?”

He hadn’t given Gloria a single thought. “No, Penny’s in labor.”

Elissa grinned. “At last. I know she was ready to have the baby out. Are you going to the hospital?”

“They just got there. Cal said I should wait. I thought I’d go by this afternoon.”

“First babies can be slow. I was lucky. Zoe only took about six hours, but I’ve heard horror stories of long deliveries. Can I call you later and find out how she’s doing?”

“Of course. Do you want to come by the hospital after work?”

“I’d like to but I don’t want to get in the way.”

“You won’t. Phone me and I’ll let you know if we have a kid yet or not. How’s that?”

“Perfect.” She raised up on her tiptoes and kissed him. “Want coffee?”

“I’d rather have you, but I’ll take what I can get.”

WALKER ARRIVED at the hospital shortly after one in the afternoon. Cal had called to say Penny was ready to deliver, so by the time Walker arrived, Reid was standing in front with good news.

“A girl,” Reid said with a grin as he pounded Walker on the back. “She’s kinda red and squashed, but Penny and Cal think she’s beautiful so don’t say anything.”

“You seen Penny yet?”

“For a couple of seconds. She’s tired but happy. There’s some test for newborns and the baby did great, so that’s good.”

Walker knew both Cal and Penny had to be relieved. Penny had miscarried their first baby years ago.

“Dani’s here,” Reid told him as he led him to the elevator and pushed the up button. “She was the standby coach in case Cal couldn’t do it, but he managed. Said he nearly passed out a couple of times.” Reid grimaced. “I never much thought about having kids. Now I’m thinking I won’t.”

“Based on Cal’s one experience?” Walker asked. “You might want to come up with a better reason.”

They stepped onto the elevator. “Do I need one?” Reid asked. “Do you?” He narrowed his gaze. “It’s Elissa, isn’t it? Her daughter’s getting to you.”

Walker wasn’t about to admit that. “Zoe’s a good kid, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to be a father.”

He’d never thought about having a family because he’d long ago decided he would never get married. Connections weren’t for him. He couldn’t be trusted.

Except the familiar litany no longer had such a ring of truth. After all these years, was he willing to let the past go? Was he willing to forgive himself?

They stepped off the elevator and onto a long corridor. The maternity ward was bright and airy, but the underlying smell of hospital was still there. Walker flashed back to visiting soldiers in makeshift wards after a battle and then he remembered visiting Charlotte after her first surgery. How she’d been scared and he’d promised she would be fine.

He’d been wrong. And then he’d left. He swore silently as he remembered her tears when she figured out he was leaving, that he wasn’t going to stick around and watch her die.

He should have stayed. He should have been there for her. They’d been in love, and when the going had gotten tough…

So did he have the right to forgive himself? Did he have the right to acknowledge the mistake and move on? She had told him to. Maybe that’s what made this all so difficult-that she’d been able to see what no one else had. His coward’s heart.

He’d faced death, had sent men to die. He’d been wounded, taken prisoner for an ugly three weeks and had lived to tell the tale. But did that change who he was inside? He wasn’t as concerned about anyone else trusting him as he was about trusting himself.

“Hey, big guy.”

Walker turned at the sound of the familiar voice. But the woman walking toward him wasn’t exactly the tall, brunette bombshell he remembered. She still wore leather pants and come-fuck-me boots, but her walk, her smile, everything else was different. Softer. Happy.

“Naomi.”

She smiled, shrugged, then moved toward him and hugged him. “In the flesh, so to speak.”

“You look good,” he said.

“I feel good,” she told him as she stepped back.

“You’re still hot.”

“I do okay.” She linked arms with him. “Have you seen the baby?”

“No.”

“Then let me show you. She’s beautiful.” She led him down the corridor. “How are you doing? Penny told me you’ve taken over Buchanan Enterprises. I would never have predicted that happening.”

“Me, either. But there wasn’t anyone else.”

“There’s always someone else. But I’m sure they appreciate you stepping up and saving them from the job.”

They stopped in front of the nursery. Naomi glanced around. “Oh, they’re still fussing with her. She’ll be along in a few minutes. So are you happy?”

“Are you?” he asked, sidestepping a typically blunt Naomi question.

She smiled. “Yes. Blissfully so. My husband and I are back together. The old fool didn’t bother to fall out of love with me, which makes no sense.”

“You’d be hard to replace.”

“Aren’t you sweet for saying that.” She sighed. “We have a lot of work to do on the relationship, but we’re determined. We’re also going to adopt a little girl from China. We’ve sent in the paperwork and we’re very hopeful.”

He knew about the loss of her son and how she’d nearly lost herself in the grief. “Good for you.”

“Have you found Ashley?”

He didn’t want to think of failing Ben, but he was running out of names on the list. “Not yet. I’m beginning to think she doesn’t exist.”

“She does and you’ll find her,” Naomi told him. “Have faith.”

“There’s not a lot of that going around.”

“There should be.” She faced him and took his hands in hers. “You’re a good man, Walker Buchanan. One of the best I know, and I’ve known plenty. Don’t give up on yourself or the world and don’t stop saving people, especially yourself.”

“I haven’t saved anyone,” he said gruffly, not believing a word of it, but also unwilling to get trapped into an emotional moment.

“You saved me,” she said quietly. “You saved my life in more ways than you can know.” She raised herself onto her toes and lightly kissed his mouth. “For old times’ sake, whatever the hell that means.”

He touched her cheek. “I’m glad you found your way.”

“Me, too. I wish you could-” She sighed, then swore. “Okay, there’s a very attractive woman in her midtwenties glaring at me like I’m the devil with boobs. I’m guessing you know her.”

Walker held in a groan as he turned and saw Elissa standing about six feet away. She’d obviously gone home and changed because she wasn’t wearing her chicken uniform. She also didn’t look all that happy.

He stepped back from Naomi, but knew it was too little too late and that he was going to have a hell of a lot of explaining to do. Before he could figure out how to start or what to say, Naomi released his hands and walked over to Elissa.

“Hi, I’m Naomi,” she said with an easy smile. “I’m an old friend of Penny’s and a friend of the family. I mean that. I’ve even seen Cal naked-which is a fascinating story, if I do say so myself. I’m happily married and Walker never really saw me as anything significant anyway, but I will admit to trying.”

Too much information, Elissa thought, feeling both embarrassed and exposed. She felt as if she’d walked in on something intimate and she didn’t like being the outsider.

“Nice to meet you,” she said, forcing herself to smile and hoping she looked pleasant instead of shell-shocked. She’d known Walker had flaws, but she hadn’t considered kissing other women would be one of them.

“Okay. I’m going to go check on Penny,” the other woman said and strolled away.

Elissa watched her go. Naomi was everything she wasn’t-tall, elegant, confident and beautiful. Worse, Elissa could imagine Walker with her. They would have made a stunning couple. Both fiercely sexual and larger than life.

“Elissa,” Walker said awkwardly. “Naomi and I are friends. Nothing more.”

“Now,” Elissa murmured as she fought the sudden wave of nausea that swept over her. “Before you were a whole lot more.”

“We weren’t romantically involved,” he said. “I want you to know that.”

“But you were lovers.”

She didn’t mean to say that. The words simply popped out on their own.

He was silent for a long time, then admitted, “Once.”