I’d had enough. Didn’t want to listen to his sob story anymore, feeling sorry for himself. But every word he said resonated with me. “You could’ve saved her. Despite her dad. At least fucking told someone, anyone she was alive. You condemned her to three more years of hell. And Nicole’s death is on you. There is no excuse for that. ‘I serve with honor on and off the battlefield.’ Remember our code?”

He squinted his eyes. “Don’t fucking judge me. You’re just like me. I didn’t have a choice.”

“No, Matt. I’m nothing like you. I met Annie in a brothel, too. Hired her. But unlike you, I came back. I saved her. I risked my job, my life for her. That’s what we do. That’s our oath.”

“I voluntarily accept the inherent hazards of my profession, placing the welfare and security of others before my own.”

I needed to get the fuck out of his truck. Imagining his hands all over my Annie made me want to pop him in the head. “I won’t tell anyone. Not for your sake, for Annie’s. You better continue to keep your mouth shut.”

We bailed shortly after. I’d given my word to Matt that I wouldn’t tell Annie that I met him. And I never lied to SEALs, even former ones. I had to come up with another route. And I needed to deal with her father. But before I went one step further, I had to figure out how I felt about Annie. It was time for me to step up and commit. To her.

24.

I stopped at the florist near my house to get Annie flowers. I chose a bouquet of wild flowers, nothing too pure and pretty. Carefree, damaged, and finally free, just like her. Matt had rattled me. I didn’t want to end up like him. I was starting to think that Annie was my perfect match, strong, loyal, a survivor. And her fine ass didn’t hurt either.

I opened the door and Annie was sitting out on my small balcony, Trigger at her feet. She wasn’t reading, on her phone, or listening to music. I admired her ability to just enjoy each moment of freedom, without having to always be busy. I needed to learn to do that.

“Hey babe.”

Her face lit up when she saw me. She bounded over to me and gave me a kiss. “These are gorgeous. Thank you. How was work?”

I winced. I hated lying to her. I vowed to be honest with her from now on, but I couldn’t tell her where I’d been. I’d given Matt my word. “Good. An old Team guy stopped by. Hey, let’s get out of here. I’m sorry. I’ve been so busy with work I haven’t taken you anywhere since we’ve been back. Anything you’ve been dying to do since you’ve returned?” I had plenty of suggestions, but they all seemed wrong. My first thought was Sea World but I doubted that Annie wanted to spend the day watching animals kidnapped and forced into captivity to perform tricks for strangers.

“Disneyland? I have to, for Nicole.”

Shit. I hadn’t been to Disneyland since I was a kid. I’d take Annie there since it meant something to her, but I had a better idea. “Pack a bag. Let’s go.”

Her face brightened. I surprised myself by how much I enjoyed making her happy.

I sent Kyle a quick text.

An hour later, we were headed up the I-5 to Anaheim.

We pulled into the Downtown Disney Parking lot and dropped Trigger off at the Disneyland Kennels just right outside the gate. We headed straight over to Disney California Adventure Park. I’d never been here. We used our fast pass for Soarin’ Over California, which I actually loved: seeing all the beautiful parks, lakes, monuments of my home state made me happy to be back home. Normally when I was on leave, I was itching to return back to sea. But for the first time in memory, I was taking joy in everyday life. Spending time with Annie made everything more enjoyable.

We hit some more rides, hopped over to Disneyland, and grabbed a quick bite to eat.

Annie was enjoying herself, but I knew this wasn’t really her scene. She hated crowds, and was pretty jumpy with the loud noises from the rides. She was doing this for Nicole.

“I’m ready to go, Pat. But I need to do something first.”

We walked to the main entrance of Disneyland, and Annie’s eyes were glued to the ground. There were hundreds of tiny memorial pavers. She paced up and down the rows and finally stopped. There was a small one that read: The Race Family. December 8, 2006.

Annie knelt down and traced the stone with her hands. Tears filled her eyes. I didn’t want to ruin her moment, so I stood back, unsure of what to say. She took out some Krazy Glue from her purse. She removed the necklace I gave her in the brothel, took the chain off, and glued it to Nicole’s paver.

Shit, it even made me want to cry.

Annie took a picture of the paver and walked away.

After around ten minutes, Annie stood up. “We can go now.”

“That was sweet, Annie.”

“Yeah. I wanted her to have it. I’d be dead if it wasn’t for her. She always talked about that vacation. How much fun they had all had and she was determined to come back here. I still haven’t seen her parents. Would you go with me to see them?”

“Of course.”

“That would be great. Thank you for taking me.”

I put my arm around her. We picked up Trigger at the kennels, and headed back to the car.

She put her seat belt on. “Where are we staying?”

“I have a surprise for you.”

“I hate surprises. We’re not staying near Disneyland?”

“Why don’t you crash? It’s a long drive. We’ll be there by morning.”

She tapped her fingers on the window. “Okay. This better be good.” She leaned in and gave me a kiss.

I stopped by a drive through Starbucks, ordered a Venti black coffee, and a few bottles of water for the drive.

Eight hours later at six a.m., we had arrived at our destination. She was passed out in the seat next to me.

“Wake up, Sunshine. We’re here.”

She rubbed her eyes, and blinked a few times to gain sight. The vast, pure lake glimmered in the sunrise.

“Pat! Tahoe! You remembered?”

“Of course. I never forget anything. Kyle has a buddy with a cabin in Incline Village. We have it for the whole week.”

“The week? That’s amazing. Don’t you have to go back to work? You’ve been working every day.”

She didn’t know that we had complete block leave, and all the times I’d told her I’d been at work, I was acting on a hunch I had about her family. “We have a week of leave. It’s just you and me.” I paused. I felt horrible keeping this secret from her, but I couldn’t tell her. “Annie. I’ve been lying to you.”

Her face dropped. “About what.”

“I told you that I didn’t want a relationship while I was on the Teams. But, I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong. I can’t guarantee anything, but I’m willing to try.”

She leaned to my seat and wrapped her arms around my neck, planting a kiss on my cheeks. “One thing I learned in captivity was to not focus on the future or the past. Just take one day at a time. I’m happy with you today. We don’t need to plan out the rest of our lives. As long as you want to be with me now, that’s enough for me.”

I kissed her back, couldn’t wait to get her into the cabin. Annie was unlike any girl I’d ever known, she didn’t expect anything of me, didn’t try to change me, and accepted me for who I was. Maybe being with me the three months out of the year that I didn’t deploy would be enough to make her happy. I was crazy about her.

But I had to confront her father, protect her from him. And I knew I would shatter Annie’s carefully rebuilt world.

Kyle left out a detail about the owner of the cabin—apparently the guy was loaded. Probably one of his NFL buddies. This place was on the water in Incline Village, a hotspot of wealthy Silicon Valley executives. My mom and I used to stay in a crappy motel in South Lake Tahoe, but I loved it anyway. This cabin had stonework, beautiful hard wood floors, seven bedrooms, a gourmet kitchen, a game room, an exercise room, a wine cellar, and a master bedroom with a private fireplace.

I needed to sleep. I let Trigger out back in the yard. “Can you bring Trigger back in when he is done?”

“Yes.”

I brought our bags in, and went upstairs to take a shower.

I took off my clothes and turned on the hot water. Should I confront her dad? It was pointless really. He would either lie and deny it or admit it and retaliate against Matt. No wonder he hated my guts, probably knew I would figure his bullshit out. Some may look at us enlisted SEALs as nothing more than brawn, but to get through BUD/S, you had to be intelligent.

But if I told Annie, she would have no one left in her life but me—and that was if she believed me. I thought she would, but you never know. Blood is thicker than water. Who would be there for her when I was gone?

I stepped out of the shower and went into the bedroom. The fireplace was already on. And Annie was sitting on the bed in some damn sexy lingerie. Pink silk nightie trimmed with black lace, split up high on her thigh.

I stopped in the doorway to watch as she smoothed lotion over her legs and it occurred to me that I wouldn't mind seeing her do this every night. I'd heard the poor bastards in team wax poetic about coming home to their wives and it wasn't until I saw her looking at home in the bed that I realized what they meant.

She looked up and saw me watching her. "Hey, hero. What are you doing?"

I didn't answer. Instead, I walked over to the bed and knelt at the edge next to her. She stilled, then set the lotion on the nightstand and angled towards me. I wasn't rushed to fuck her like the day at the beach. It wasn't about satiating a hunger. I wanted to show her what I was feeling, but didn't have the words to say.