C. Omololu - Intuition

Rayne leans against my legs. She and Peter are sharing a sleeping bag on a tiny patch of grass we’ve carved out for ourselves, and even though they’ve tried to keep the contact to a minimum, I can’t help but notice how happy they are together. “You warm enough?” she asks, looking up at me.

“I’m okay. Once in my life I’d like to watch Fourth of July fireworks without wearing a parka and a sleeping bag.”

Peter pulls a wool blanket from around his shoulders and hands it to me. “Here, take this. I’m warm enough.”

That one small gesture brings tears flooding into my eyes. “No, it’s fine. I’m fine.” I can feel the sadness well up from somewhere down deep until it seems like it’s going to crash over me like a tidal wave. If I stay here, I’ll drown. I kick the sleeping bag off my legs. “I’m going to walk around for a little bit.”

“But the fireworks are going to start in a couple of minutes. You can’t go wandering around down here by yourself.”

“You were the one who said I needed some fresh air. I’m just going to go find a little more. There are thousands of people here, nothing’s going to happen.”

“Are you sure? I feel so bad.”

“I’m sure. Don’t feel bad. I’m doing enough of that for everyone.”

“Keep your phone on,” Rayne says as I stand up and zip my jacket tight. “And text me.”

“Yes, Mom.” I turn around and look at all the people crowding every available space and try to decide which way to go. I really just want to be alone right now, and where better to do that than in the middle of five thousand people? Without a destination in mind, I start to head back toward Fisherman’s Wharf. A few people bump me while I walk, but almost everyone is settling in to their small patch of grass or sidewalk to wait for the fireworks to begin.

I’ve only gone about a block when one lone pop fills the sky with red and makes me jump. There are people crowded on every horizontal surface, but I find a tiny space on a brick wall and squeeze myself into it. The fog above our heads flashes with color as the giant fireworks begin to light up the night. I try to wipe my mind clean of all thoughts and just enjoy the noise and the oohs and ahhs of the crowd of strangers around me. One loud whistling firework ends in a trail of sparks that seem to embed themselves in my brain. The overwhelmingly loud sound of the crackle and hiss as it comes back down to earth fill my ears, and before the panic can take hold, I realize that I’m being pulled into another memory.

The fireworks explode in the dusty street, but I’m so used to the noise now that I don’t even jump when one goes off right next to me.

“Throw it!” my brother yells, handing me a small, flaming cylinder.

“Thamun! Stop!” I shout, trying to get everyone out of the way and toss it onto the ground as all of the faces around us light up with color. All the other boys my age squeal and run in different directions, trying to get their own firecrackers to light.

It seems like it took forever for Diwali to get here, and we finally get to stay up late, eating sweets and tossing firecrackers into the street. I feel a little sorry for Kavita because she’s stuck inside with the girls cooking and cleaning, so I light another firecracker in her honor and toss it at Varun’s feet, laughing as my big brother screams like a girl and runs away just in time to avoid the flash.

In seconds he’s back, his dark eyes shining. “Ramesh, look at this one.” He’s holding a round ball that is almost as big as his head. Varun caresses the side as if it’s a pretty girl’s cheek, and grins at me. “This is going to be the best one of the night.”

“Where did you get that monstrosity?” I ask. I’d never seen a big one that close up before.

“I did a favor for someone,” my brother says cryptically. “Get everyone to stand back and I’ll light it.”

“Thamun!” I shout again as loud as I can, but it seems as if no one is listening. “Look out! Varun is about to light the biggest of them all!”

I hear a hiss as the flame makes contact with the wick, and turn away for just a second to grab one of the little boys who is racing right into the line of fire. Before Varun has time to toss it away, there is a blinding flash and a noise that is loud enough to rip the ears off one’s head. The air is filled with the sounds of screaming, and I’m on my knees, my hands clawing at the dirt that is quickly getting damp with drops of something from above. I can’t see anything in my panic, and it takes a few seconds to realize that the deafening screaming is coming from my own throat.

I jump as the air seems to vibrate with another loud bang, but this one is high in the air above my head. My heart is beating fast with the panic of the firecracker accident. Diwali. I remember my friend Gabi talking about that holiday. This must have been the glimpse of India I’ve had a few times before. I touch my hands to my face as I think about what happened. What came after that night? Did I survive?

The fireworks are coming fast and furious now, so it must be the finale; I wonder how long I’ve been gone. I glance around but everyone is motionless, their necks craned toward the sky to watch the clouds flash and change color.

“You’re back.”

I startle at the words as Drew turns to face me, and anger fills me instantly. “What are you doing here?”

He pauses to let some of the loudest fireworks pass. “Protecting you. Do you have any idea how vulnerable you are when you’re in the middle of a memory?” Even though my ankh is hidden by my jacket, I feel the weight of its presence every time he speaks.

“Apparently very vulnerable, if you’re any indication.” I jump down off the wall and start to walk into the crowd, but Drew jogs to catch up.

“Would you stop running away from me?”

“Only if you’ll stop following me.”

“I wasn’t following you,” he says, dodging people as they bend down to pack up their chairs and blankets. “You’re in my neighborhood.”

I look around and realize he’s right. I’d forgotten that the party at Francesca’s house was only a block or two from here. I glance out toward the water, realizing that just a few weeks ago, Griffon and I were wrapped up in each other, staring at the very same view. I walk faster.

“Things aren’t going so well at home and I just needed to get out of the house. I saw you sitting there,” he explains. “I could tell that you were in no shape to be left alone, so I just sat next to you and waited. Is that so wrong?”

I stop and face him, barely able to contain my desire to punch him in the chest. The anger rolls off me in waves, and Drew must sense it because he takes one small step backward. “You’re all wrong! If you hadn’t shown up at the studio the other day, everything would be fine.” I clench my fists, trying to keep my voice steady. “Griffon’s gone.”

Drew raises his eyes to meet mine. “Maybe he sees what you refuse to. That we’re destined for each other.”

“We are not!” I turn and start to walk away. The people around us are already beginning to thin out, and I scan the crowd for Rayne and Peter.

“Wait,” Drew says, and reaches out to touch my sleeve, but I shrug him off. Even through the thick fabric I can feel the vibrations between us, so I step back until they become just a dull ache.

“Griffon was everything to me. He’s Sekhem,” I say, the pride in my voice unmistakable. “Important Sekhem. Not like some selfish, low-life Khered.”

Drew’s face registers the surprise I’m sure he wanted to hide. “Is that what you think? If that’s true, I can only imagine what kind of crap he’s been telling you all this time.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “There are other facets to life than what the Sekhem have been feeding you. Khered take advantage of the opportunities we’ve been given in a different way. The Sekhem don’t have all the answers. It’s not only about hard work and crushing responsibility.”

Responsibility. That word has been following me around since the day I had my first memory. “What are you talking about?”

“There are many ways to live in this world, and apparently you’ve only been shown one tiny side of the benefits that our kind of immortality can bring.”

Immortality. I hadn’t really thought of it that way before. As pissed as I am at myself for staying and even talking to him, another part of me is just the tiniest bit curious. “And you have another?”

Drew smiles, and I have to look away—otherwise I’d have to admit that it makes him even better-looking. “There’s only one way to find out. Have dinner with me.”

His arrogance makes me want to hit him again. “Did you not hear anything I said? You’ve ruined my life. I’m not going out with you.”

“Okay, then.” He shrugs. “I guess you’re going to have to spend the rest of your life—the rest of your lives—wondering how things might have been.”

I start to walk away. Thoughts are tumbling through my head so fast I can barely keep up. Immortality. Responsibility. Khered. When I glance back over my shoulder, he’s still standing there with an amused look on his face. Damn him—he’s right. I am always going to wonder.

“One meal,” I shout back. “One hour. And that’s it.”

Drew is waiting out in front of the slightly shabby restaurant as I walk from the bus stop on 24th Street. The sun is still high overhead, and I wonder why he wants to eat at the same time as old people. Probably so that Francesca won’t catch him. I doubt he’ll even eat anything, but then again, neither will I. I’m here on a fact-finding mission, and that’s all.