C. Omololu - Intuition

I can barely hear him as he whispers, “What else does he want from you?”

“Nothing! It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to be with him, no matter what our relationship was before. I want to be with you. I love you.”

Griffon blinks slowly and his nostrils flare as he considers my words. “I’m not ready to do this again, Cole.”

“What do you mean again?” My words rush out as I try to keep him here. I can feel him pulling away, retreating from me. “There hasn’t been anyone else.”

“I don’t mean with you.” His tone is dismissive, and I feel everything deflate. “I’ve done this before, and I swore I’d never do it again. If . . .” He pauses and glances at me just for a second. “If you have a history with him, something you have to finish in this lifetime, I can’t stand in the way of that. I won’t stand in the way of that. Not this time.”

In a rush I realize that so much of what he’s reacting to has nothing to do with me or our relationship in this lifetime. It’s all about the pain he’s carried through many lifetimes. “What happened in your past has nothing to do with us,” I say. I can hear the pleading in my voice, but I can’t do anything about it. “This is about you and me. Here and now.”

Griffon waves my words away, but the look of pain on his face is unmistakable. “This isn’t about my past. It’s about yours. I can’t—I won’t compete with a ghost.”

“How can I make you understand that I’m not interested in Drew?” It feels like there are miles between us, like he’s someone I don’t even know.

The door to the studio opens and Drew walks out. His eyes flick to Griffon, but then settle on me. “Everything okay?”

“Just go away!” I shout. I thrust the earrings back into his hands. “You’ve done enough.”

Time seems suspended as Griffon looks from me to Drew and back again, his hands clenched into tight fists as he slowly takes a step back. His face is a mask, and I’m so far away I can’t read any emotions. After what seems like an eternity, he turns to me. “I’m going to do you a favor and walk away.”

I grab for his hand as he turns to walk down the sidewalk, but he’s already out of reach.

“You can’t go!” I shout, but I’m already talking to his back. “Not now. Please!”

“Think of it this way,” he says, glancing over his shoulder. “I’m making your decision a hell of a lot easier.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Kat asks, looking over her shoulder for traffic.

“I have to. He won’t answer my calls, and I have to talk to him. He just needs some time to realize that he made a mistake. That’s all.” Just turning down Griffon’s street makes my stomach churn. I check my phone one more time on the off chance he’s answered one of the texts I’ve sent since yesterday, but the only thing on the screen is the picture of Rayne and me that’s been my screensaver for months. I stare at the houses going by, steeling myself for the first glimpse of his.

Rayne leans forward from the backseat. “Peter’s been no help at all. He says this is between the two of you.” She squeezes my shoulder for support. “Sorry.”

“Guys are like that,” Kat says. She glances at me as she drives. “I hate to say this, but maybe it’s for the best, you know? You two seem to argue a lot.” I don’t blame her for thinking this, because I couldn’t tell her what had happened the last time, that I’d found out that he was the one who had executed me back then—all she knew was that we’d had a fight.

“It’s not for the best,” I say. “This is all just a misunderstanding.”

“I don’t know why you won’t tell me what it was about this time,” she says. “Maybe I can help.”

“I told you, it’s no big deal.” If Kat even got the smallest hint that Griffon broke up with me because he found me with Drew, she’d go ballistic. I had just finally gotten her to stop thinking I had a thing for him. This kind of information would send her over the edge. I point out the front window. “It’s that one there. The one with the brown shingles.”

“Nice,” Kat says, pulling over to the curb and taking in the immaculate front yard and the big façade. “I thought his mom was a professor at the university.”

“She is.”

“Well, no wonder they keep having tuition hikes if their professors can afford houses like this. Not cheap.”

I look up at Griffon’s window and try not to picture the room behind it. The white board with all of his cryptic equations written on it. His big, comfortable bed. The last time I was here things were so great between us—I never imagined it would all turn out this way. I look down the driveway and see his bike parked in the back behind Janine’s truck. “He’s here. They both are.”

Kat unbuckles her seatbelt. “You want me to come with you?”

“No,” I say quickly. She can’t hear the things I have to say. “I have to do this alone.” I turn and look back at Rayne. “But I’m glad you guys came.” I open the door. “Wish me luck.”

Rayne leans forward and plants a kiss on my cheek. “Luck. We’re here for you.”

The curtains are closed as I walk onto the porch, and I can’t see any movement inside. As I lift my hand to knock I hear faint reggae music coming from somewhere and take a deep breath. I wonder what Janine has said to him. Or more importantly, what he’s said to her.

I hear Janine shout “Coming” from somewhere in the back, and my heart starts pounding in the few seconds between that and when she flings the door open. “Cole!” She seems genuinely surprised to see me and leans over to give me a hug. “Baby girl, it’s so good to see you.”

Her touch brings a sob into my throat and I have to swallow hard before I can speak. “Thanks.” I bite my lip hard to keep from crying. “I’m sure you heard what happened.”

She looks right at me. “He won’t talk about it. But I can guess.”

“I should have talked to him like you said. Instead, he saw Drew at the studio and totally freaked out.” I can feel the desperation rising up inside me again, like this is the only chance I’m going to have to set things right. “But it wasn’t like that. He didn’t even give me a chance to explain.” We’re still standing on the porch, so I look behind her, but the living room is empty. “And now he won’t pick up the phone. Is he here?”

“In the study,” Janine says, stepping back to let me in. She gives my hand one last squeeze before letting me go.

I walk through the living room to the back part of the house and stop short in the doorway to the study. Griffon’s not alone.

He looks surprised to see me at first, and then his features seem to harden and I can tell he’s replaying yesterday’s events in his mind. “Hey.” He makes sure the word isn’t welcoming. “What are you doing here?”

The woman on the couch next to him is maybe ten years older than he is, and with her long dark hair is exotic-looking in a way that’s impossible to place. They’re hunched over some architectural drawings spread out over the coffee table, and something about the way they’re sitting so close tells me this isn’t the first time they’ve met.

“I thought we needed to talk,” I say, suddenly feeling like a little kid. I pull myself up as tall as I can. “About what happened.”

Griffon sits back and doesn’t make any attempt to get up. “I thought we said everything we needed to say.”

I glance at the woman beside him. She’s watching the two of us with interest. “Can we maybe take this somewhere else?” I ask.

“This is Giselle,” he says. “One of my colleagues from the Sekhem that I was telling you about. She’s here to work on the new lab setup with me. You can say anything in front of her.”

Giselle smiles at him and waves uncomfortably at me. I wonder how many of his lifetimes she’s been part of.

“Maybe I can,” I say, getting a little frustrated, “but I’d rather not.”

He seems to take a second to decide something. “Okay.” He nods his head. “Let’s go in the kitchen.”

Griffon leads the way, not once looking back to see if I’m following. There’s another guy in the kitchen, dunking a tea bag in a giant mug of hot water.

“Cole, this is Christophe,” Griffon says, introducing us. “He’s working with us on the lab too.” He looks at Christophe. “We need a minute alone, if that’s okay. I’ll be in there in just a second.”

“Nice to meet you,” Christophe says with a German-sounding accent as he scurries from the room. Not that I blame him—the negative energy flowing between the two of us is only getting stronger.

Griffon leans against the sink and crosses his arms in front of his chest. Even without empath training, I’d recognize a hostile stance anywhere. “So what else is there to say?”

I throw my arms up in frustration. “What else? How about everything! You’re willing to just throw all of this out because of one stupid second that you completely misinterpreted? I already told you that it didn’t mean anything to me. Drew means nothing.”

“It’s not one stupid second,” Griffon says carefully. His eyes are firmly on the wood floors. “It’s a lifetime together that was cut short. A lifetime that will always make you wonder what might have been. A lifetime you won’t be able to complete if you and I stay together.”

“That’s ridiculous.” It feels like he’s put a wall up between us, and everything I say is just bouncing off of it. Like he’s putting words in my mouth and telling me how to feel. “You’re acting like I don’t have any say in this at all.”

“You don’t.” Griffon finally raises his eyes to meet mine. I can see his jaw tense as he looks at me. “I’m not giving you one. Whether you’re with Drew or not, I don’t want to be the deciding factor. I don’t want you to look back and think about how things might have been if you’d decided to go with him instead of me.”