Had I been that bad since the trip to the police station? I decided then that I wouldn’t cancel the next appointment. As shitty as it was to talk about all the fucked-up things I’d been through and done, I couldn’t expect Tenley to deal with it, or me, if I refused to.

“It was fine.” I leaned over and kissed her temple. “I’ve got another appointment in a few days.”

She seemed startled by the admission. “Really?” Her eyes got all glassy.

“Hey. It’s okay, kitten. We’re gonna be fine.” I traced her bottom lip with the pad of my thumb.

“Well, I think I’ll be going,” Cassie said, pushing up out of her chair.

“You don’t have to do that,” I said, vaguely disappointed.

“Nate’s going to be home early tonight.” She exchanged a look with Tenley, and Cassie’s cheeks flushed. I didn’t want to know what that was about. Cassie pulled on her coat and Tenley rose to hug her. Cassie whispered something I couldn’t hear and smoothed her hand over Tenley’s hair while stepping away. It was a maternal, affectionate gesture.

“I’ll call you tomorrow and let you know,” Tenley assured her.

“There’s no obligation.”

Cassie kissed her on the cheek and left. They were much closer than I’d realized.

“What was that about?” I asked when Tenley sat back down.

“We’ve been invited for dinner tomorrow.”

“Do you want to go?”

“It might be nice.”

I’d been pretty reclusive the past few days; it wouldn’t hurt to get out for a few hours tomorrow evening. Besides, I needed to thank Nate.

My coffee came, distracting me from the conversation. I devoured the rest of Tenley’s cake and drained the cup. Got a refill. Ordered another dessert even though I usually ate only Tenley’s baked goods. Tenley chattered away, talking about the tentative plans she’d made with Lisa and Sarah for next week. She stayed away from the topic of therapy, but her pile of shredded napkins grew to twice its original size. She was still nervous about something; I just didn’t know what.

“I think I’m done,” I said after I drained my third cup of coffee and finished the chocolate layer cake. My appetite was back, and not just for food. I had one hell of a hard-on. My dick had woken up after Tenley got her back up over my being such a prick.

“You’re sure you don’t want anything else?”

“Nah. I’m ready to go home.” I folded up my napkin, put it on the center of the plate, and flagged down the waitress.

Once the bill was taken care of we went out to the car. I still hadn’t taken mine to the shop. That would have to change. Tenley and I hadn’t been out much since the hood incident, but I was already tired of driving around in something with no balls.

She was fidgety on the way home, her hands running up and down her thighs, her foot bouncing on the floor.

“You all right?” I asked when we were stopped at a red light.

“Uh-huh.”

“You wanna try again? Maybe with the truth this time.”

I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, so she knew I wasn’t being a jerk. I just wanted to know what the issue was.

She must not have expected it because she jumped at the contact. “Sorry. Too much caffeine.”

I backed off and left it alone. She’d talk when she was ready. Pushing her would make me a hypocrite, since I wasn’t about to offer up any information about my session. I would never talk to Tenley about a lot of stuff. Not because I didn’t trust her, but because it wasn’t stuff she needed to know.

Much of it had to do with how fucking scared I was that something was going to happen to take her away from me again. Apparently it was a residual symptom of my particular brand of PTSD. At least now I could figure out how to deal with it without freaking out on her over the position of the remote control on the side table. As I’d done yesterday.

When we got home, Tenley disappeared into the bathroom. I took the opportunity to look over the spreadsheets for Inked Armor on my laptop while I waited for her to come out of hiding. It was Lisa’s job to take care of them, but I always rechecked everything.

I glanced at the date at the bottom of the screen and did a double take. Tomorrow was New Year’s Eve. Lisa had taken over making a plan after the fiasco at Christmas dinner, but things had gotten crazy and I’d forgotten all about it. That must have been the reason for Cassie’s invitation.

Tenley was probably sick of being holed up in the condo with me. As difficult as the therapy session had been, it had been revelatory in many ways. I was a fuckwit when I was under too much stress. It was okay to act like a broody douche when I was eighteen, not so much at twenty-five.

I shut down the laptop and headed for the bedroom. The bathroom door was still closed. I knocked. “Tenley?”

“Just a minute.”

I paced around the room and went through the session again. I’d talked about my parents’ murder and Tenley. We focused on how I experienced those events, and how my not dealing with them was affecting my relationship with her. Now that I had perspective, I could see the hell I’d put her through over the past few days.

The bathroom door opened and I turned around, ready to issue a full apology. What came out of my mouth was, “Oh. My. Fuck.”

Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail, her cheeks flushed, and she wore only nipple shields and heels. Both cupcake themed. My instant erection almost ripped through my jeans.

She looked down at her chest. “I got new jewelry.”

I cleared my throat. Twice. “I can see that.”

“And new shoes.”

“I see that, too.”

Her eyes lifted to peek up at me. She was ever the contradiction between sweetness and sexuality.

I must have stared for quite a while because her eyes dropped to the floor and she wrung her hands together. “I’m sorry. The past few days have been so tense, and earlier it seemed like you might want me—never mind.” She turned around, her art and her ass on display, and took a step toward the bathroom.

“Whoa. Where are you going?”

She glanced over her shoulder. “To get changed.”

“I don’t think so.” I grabbed her wrist and pulled her against me.

Cupping the back of her head in my palm, I kissed her—gently. There’d been too much aggression coming from me lately, and I didn’t want to bring it into the bedroom. I wanted slow and easy and close because I’d been pushing her away, too caught up in my own turmoil to see what it was doing to her.

“I missed you,” Tenley whispered, her hands going under my shirt, tugging it up over my head.

“Me, too.” I wrapped an arm around her waist and carried her to the bed.

She sat on the edge of the mattress and unfastened the button on my pants with hands that shook. The zipper went down and my pants dropped to the floor. I stepped out of them as she brushed my cock with her fingertips.

“I wasn’t sure—” When she looked up at me, such vulnerability was in her eyes. “I would do almost anything for you.”

“I know.” It had only been four days, yet it felt like an eternity. “I just want to love you.”

So I did.

Things were better. I wasn’t under any delusion that my problems were solved. The compulsive crap wasn’t going to go away, but at least I recognized it as an issue. I didn’t take it as personal sabotage if Tenley didn’t put something exactly where I wanted it.

At three in the afternoon on New Year’s Eve, we were getting ready to go to Cassie’s. The entire Inked Armor crew had been invited. So had Sarah, but she had to work. Chris had sounded pissed when we talked on the phone. Sarah hadn’t been scheduled all week, except for tonight. He was catching a ride with Tenley and me.

“You need to get dressed.” I zipped up the duffel bag I’d packed in case we stayed over. It had both of our stuff in it. I liked having our things mixed together, neatly. In ordered piles.

She’d been prancing around in frilly underwear and nothing else, pretending to decide what she wanted to wear to Cassie’s. Only two dresses were hanging in the section of closet I’d cleared for her a while ago, so it shouldn’t have been such an issue to make a choice.

“Which one?” She turned around, holding up the dresses, one black, the other a pale blue. She was still wearing the cupcake nipple shields. They were driving me fucking insane.

“You should probably stop teasing me if you don’t want to keep Chris waiting. He’s going to be here in ten minutes.”

She ignored me. “If you pick the black one, I can wear the cup-cake shoes again.”

“I like the blue one.” I couldn’t be held responsible for my actions if she wore those shoes again.

“You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

She disappeared inside the closet and came out five minutes later in the black dress and the cupcake shoes. Her attempt at seduction would have worked if Chris hadn’t buzzed a minute later. We took the elevator down, me carrying the duffel and her carrying a box of cupcakes she’d whipped up this morning.

Chris was waiting for us in the lobby, looking as if someone had pissed in his shoes. His eyes went wide when he saw me, his bad mood forgotten. “Holy hell, H!”

I shrugged. “Tenley cut my hair.”

“I noticed. It’s this I’m referring to, though.” He gestured to his face. He didn’t have a lot of metal above the neck, just an eyebrow ring and some spacers.

“It’s no big deal.”

“If you say so.”

I could see him looking at me as we headed for the parking garage, but he didn’t say anything else. Tenley’s car was now parked in a spot across from mine. Chris called shotgun and started toward the Camaro, stopping short when he got an eyeful of the hood.