Helena Hunting - Inked Armour

“Why do you say that?”

Hayden shrugged. “Cassie and Nate hadn’t been married long when my parents died. It shook her up, and I was just too much to deal with. I didn’t follow rules. I snuck out at night all the time; came home all fucked up on drugs because I couldn’t cope. Cassie didn’t know what to do with me; she was just as lost as I was. I could see the strain I was putting on them. I’d seen what the crap I pulled did to my parents. I figured it would be better for everyone if I lost my shit without Cassie watching it happen.”

“That’s pretty selfless, for someone so young and in such a bad place.”

He shook his head. “I left because dealing was too hard.”

“We can agree to disagree, then. You were just a boy.”

It was at the core of his makeup to save people from pain, even if it meant distancing himself from them. So it made sense that he’d want to be with me, because as close as we’d become, walls were still between us. Thinner than before, but still there.

He said, “I used to wonder what my life would’ve been like if my parents weren’t dead, how it would’ve been different. But I don’t do that as much anymore.”

“What changed?”

“I met you. I figured all the shit had to be for a reason, right? If I hadn’t gone through it, I’d never get where you’re coming from, and this thing we have.” He traced the line of my jaw with a fingertip. “It wouldn’t be the same.”

Hayden was right. Without our pasts, our connection might have been very different.

Everyone was in the kitchen when we came back downstairs. A glass of wine was put in my hand. Hayden grabbed a beer and Nate tossed an apron at him. Hayden grumbled as he pulled it over his head.

“That’s what you get for being late, bro,” Chris said, running his hand over the front of his apron, which showcased the ripped abs of a tattooed male body.

Nate’s was a tuxedo print, Jamie’s a cowboy. Hayden wasn’t so lucky; his had pink and white flowers with ruffles around the edges. I giggled as he fumbled with the strings. He was too broad to be able to tie a bow.

He grabbed a whisk and pointed it at me. “What are you laughing at? I can totally pull off this look.”

I raised my hands. “I’m not arguing with you. I think you look pretty.”

He smacked his palm with the whisk. “Don’t think for a second I’ll forget you said that.”

I played with the chain around my neck and grinned. If the rest of the day could be like this, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

Holiday dinners at Cassie’s weren’t like they’d been in Arden Hills. My home experience was of women rushing around the kitchen while the men sat and drank. At Connor’s, someone was hired to cook while the family congregated in the formal sitting room to sip expensive wine and liquor.

Here, the men took over the kitchen. Well, most of them. According to Sarah, Chris couldn’t even manage a Kraft dinner without making it inedible. He was allowed to mash the potatoes, but Hayden hovered and gave directions on how much of what went into the bowl.

I was fascinated by how natural the domestic routine seemed to be for Hayden. He’d been on his own for the past seven years and wasn’t a huge fan of takeout, so he’d learned to cook. Aside from his fixation with cupcakes and his love of beer and scotch, he had healthy eating habits. Sometimes it made him a buzz kill when we went grocery shopping.

Sarah let out a low whistle, bringing my attention back to the conversation. She motioned to my chest. “Is that new?”

I looked down at the charm I was playing with. “It’s an early present from Hayden.”

Ever since I’d put it on, I couldn’t stop touching it. It was like a talisman, the only thing beside Hayden that kept me grounded enough to get through the day.

“Wow! Nice job, Hayden,” Sarah said.

Chris punched Hayden in the shoulder. “I guess we know why you two were late. Someone was looking to get laid.”

“Ow!” Hayden punched him back. “That wasn’t my motive at all.”

“You two, hands to yourself. We’re not having an MMA match in the kitchen this year.” Nate pointed the handle of his bread knife at Hayden and Chris.

“MMA match?” I asked.

“Last year Chris and Hayden got into the sauce a little too early. There was an issue with the potatoes. The cleanup was a bitch,” Jamie supplied.

“Particularly since those two were so messed up, they had their heads in the toilet before dinner was even served.” Lisa shot an irritated glare at them.

“That was the worst hangover I ever had.” Chris went back to pulverizing potatoes.

“You let them get away with that?” I asked Cassie.

“I wasn’t involved. Lisa and I were on an emergency run to get fresh cranberries. Chris brought canned ones and Hayden refused to serve them.” Cassie smiled at Hayden.

“Who the hell eats canned cranberry sauce?” he asked, as if it were unheard of.

I raised my hand. “I like canned cranberry sauce.”

“You would, Miss Let’s Eat Popcorn and Reese’s Pieces for Dinner,” he shot back.

“Don’t knock it. The Reese’s Pieces are awesome when they’re all melty.”

“It’s true,” Sarah said. “It really is good.”

Hayden rolled his eyes and went back to stirring the cranberry sauce. Which he’d made from scratch.

“So what happened when you got back?” Sarah asked.

“Hayden and Chris were engaged in a wrestling match on the floor,” Cassie replied.

“And Nate and Jamie were busy placing bets on who was going to win,” Lisa said with a laugh.

“I stood to make good money if Hayden won, considering he was the underdog,” Jamie said.

“Hardly,” Hayden scoffed. “Chris was way more hammered than I was.”

“Yeah, but you’re all lanky and shit, you Gumby-looking mother-fucker. I’m the one with the brawn,” Chris goaded, flexing his thick biceps.

“Should I be worried?” I asked Cassie, who was watching them with an amused smile.

“No. This is pretty normal,” she said.

“Fuck that Gumby shit.” Hayden tossed his wooden spoon on the counter and went chest to chest with Chris. “You’re a freak of nature. You were probably the size of a fucking toddler when you were born.”

They looked frighteningly dangerous as they glared at each other, chins raised in defiance. Jamie gave a bark of laughter.

Chris fought back a grin and Hayden poked him in the chest. “I am not lanky. Right, kitten?”

“Of course not.” All those hard-cut muscles? “I think you have the perfect body.” It came out almost breathless.

Hayden smirked and leaned across the counter to plant a kiss on my lips. “It goes both ways, beautiful.” Even in the ridiculous apron, he swaggered back to his post at the stove.

Everyone stared at Hayden with expressions that verged on disbelief; I got the distinct impression none of them had ever seen him like this before.

Cassie put an arm around my shoulder. “We’re all very glad you’re here, Tenley.”

“So am I.” I leaned into her embrace. “I’m very fortunate to have found him.”

“As is he,” she said.

While the men prepared dinner, Cassie, Lisa, Sarah, and I sat around the kitchen island and chatted. I tried my best to stay in the moment. The banter between the boys kept us entertained, and the constant flow of wine helped, too. Lisa topped up my glass so frequently, it was impossible to keep track of how much I consumed.

When dinner was ready, we transferred the food into serving bowls and carried them to the dining room. Hayden sat to my right, with his arm around the back of my chair throughout dinner. Every so often he leaned in to kiss my temple or play with a lock of my hair and tell me how glad he was that I was with him.

After the main course, the plates were cleared. New dishes were brought out in preparation for dessert. Since no one was ready for it yet, we relaxed in our chairs, blissed out in a turkey coma. Everyone was sipping drinks except for Hayden, who had switched to soda water. Conversation was easy, and while I was quiet, it wasn’t because I was stuck in the past. I loved listening to this new family I’d become part of.

After a while Hayden and Jamie started asking about dessert, so I brought it out while Cassie poured coffees.

“What’s going on? I thought you brought cupcakes,” Hayden said as I set the dessert platter on the table.

“They are cupcakes.”

“Really? All incognito, huh?” He inspected the wreath. White-chocolate leaves covered the layer of fluffy buttercream icing, and fresh-cut strawberries adorned the top for a splash of color.

“It’s almost too pretty to eat,” Cassie said.

“Almost,” Hayden agreed, and took the first one. “But not quite.”

He didn’t bother to wait for everyone else before he peeled away the wrapper and shoved half of it in his mouth. Only when he was eating cupcakes did his table manners disappear. “Is this angel food cake?” he asked between bites.

“I thought it would be lighter. Did they turn out okay?”

He groaned an affirmative and helped himself to seconds. I peeled the wrapper from my own and began slowly disassembling the cake: eating the berries first, followed by the white-chocolate leaves, then finally the icing-covered cake. Hayden pulled me closer, until I was almost in his lap. He reached over and helped himself to a third.

“You don’t have to make yourself sick. There are extras at my apartment.”

“Good to know.” He tucked my hair behind my ear and leaned in to whisper, “Watching you eat cupcakes is better than porn.”

“You think so?” I batted my eyelashes at him, then sucked icing off my finger.