Okay, enough about me. I hate what you’re dealing with, Kale, and while I can’t possibly understand it, I wish I could help you through it. Just remember what you’re doing is admirable, and no matter where or what you’re doing, you can probably guarantee you’re on my mind. I think of you all the time, often, wondering if you’re thinking of me, too. You can’t spend every single day with someone for nearly four months straight and not develop feelings for them. I guess I was fooling myself, too. Ha, it only took a few thousand miles and Charlie setting me up on a date for us to finally admit it. I guess we’re a couple of idiots.

I have no idea what will happen with Aidan, or how I’ll feel when you get back. Just know, Kale, that I care about you, too. More than you could possibly know, and I can’t wait until you’re home.

Lucy (Mila, fingers crossed)

P.S. Those photos are for YOUR EYES ONLY!


IT’S BEEN hours since I read Kale’s email and I still can’t get it off my mind. Right now, I feel more confused than ever where he’s concerned. If he were actually interested in pursuing something, he would’ve said so. Either way, it’s now out that we both care about each other, and even though I should, I don’t feel bad where Aidan’s concerned. I have no idea why he thought I’d be okay with his hijacking my Facebook. I assume he was trying to send a message, and it irritates the hell out of me. We’ve been seeing each other exclusively but haven’t had the whole relationship talk. Apparently that’s now on the agenda.

As if on cue, my phone rings and I see that it’s him.

“Hey, babe,” he says casually when I answer. “Feeling better?”

I smile at his concern and some of the irritation melts away. “A little bit. I still have a headache but most of the nausea has subsided.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear it. Can I see you? I’ll bring you something to eat if you feel up to it.”

The words from Kale’s email come back to mind, and even though I’d like to just go back to bed, I know if I’m alone I’ll do nothing but think about him. Having Aidan as a distraction is the perfect solution. I feel guilty the moment the thought comes to mind, but I push it away.

“That’s sweet, Aidan, but you don’t have to. I can’t imagine I’ll be the best company.”

He chuckles, and I know he’s not going to take no for an answer. “Babe, just let me take care of my girlfriend, okay?” he says, confirming it. I can hear the smile in his voice, and part of me feels guilty for stringing him along for the past few months.

When Kale left, I tried to tell myself I was ready for a relationship, but when it came down to it, I kept avoiding it. I tell myself I need to give Aidan a chance, and I let the irritation fade, ready to give in.

“You totally took advantage of me when I was at my weakest,” I tease, deciding to just get used to the fact that I’m now someone’s girlfriend.

“Can you blame me? You’ve been dodging it for weeks, Lucy. I want the whole world to know you’re mine. Everyone should know how lucky I am that you’re my girl.” He says the words playfully, but I don’t miss the undertone of jealousy, and I know exactly who he’s thinking of.

As much as he wants the label, he wants Kale to know even more. I’m not happy he used my social media to pee all over me like I’m his own personal fire hydrant, letting all others know to stay away, but for now, I just let it go and continue to wonder what the hell kind of mess I’ve gotten myself into.

Chapter 10

April 2013


Lucy


“I’M GOING to fucking kill him,” Charlie seethes as she does another shot of tequila. “No, better yet, I’m not going to kill him. I’m going to sneak into his bedroom, cut his damn dick off, then let him live. It’ll be a long, slow, boring, sexless, dickless life, and I’ll send him copies of all his favorite porn videos to watch, but then he won’t be able to jack off. It’ll be the sweetest kind of torture for that cock-sucking, janitor-fucking son of a bitch.”

The bartender’s eyes widen as he pours her another drink before he backs away quickly, probably afraid of getting caught up in Charlie’s wrath. Smart man.

I look at Charlie, amazed that she’s not crying her eyes out right now. Earlier today, she called me, ranting and raving about how she needed a place to stay. When I met her at my place, she was already seeing red. Apparently, soon-to-be Dickless Drew couldn’t keep it in his pants when the cleaning lady was around, and like every dumbass male who thinks with his penis rather than his brain—or his heart—he got caught. I’m not sure what Drew was thinking either. If you fuck someone else while your fiancée works a hundred yards away, you’re begging for her to catch you. Either way, previously engaged Charlie is now murderous, raging Charlie and I don’t blame her one bit.

Her phone buzzes for the hundredth time since we’ve been here, and her eyes blaze when she sees that it’s Drew, again, just as it’s been every other time it’s rang.

“Fucking hell,” she breathes, and before I can stop her, she’s reaching for the phone. “I’m sorry, if you’re looking for Molly Maids, you’ve dialed the wrong number. Please hang up and try your call again in five minutes. Or better yet, how about never?” She hangs up on him and turns her phone off before sliding it into her purse, apparently done with his incessant phone calls.

I can’t help the giggle that escapes as she signals the bartender for another drink. If I don’t get her home soon, it’s going to be a cab-sharing kind of night, but if that’s what she needs to help take away the sting of Drew’s betrayal even for a little bit, then that’s perfectly fine with me. This is why I hate relationships. They’re messy, heartbreaking, and even when you think everything’s going just fine, the rug can be pulled out from under you when you least expect it.

“What are you going to do Charlie? You know you can stay with me for the rest of the school year until my lease is up if you want. Whatever you decide, I’ll support you no matter what,” I offer, placing my hand over hers.

Clearly that was the wrong thing to say because her lip starts to quiver and I’m afraid the waterworks I’ve been waiting for are about to appear. She bites down on her lip and gives a thankful smile to the bartender when he sets the beer down in front of her. Taking a long swallow, she sighs and stares at the television, not looking at me.

“You mean besides cut off his penis so he can never use it again? I don’t know, Lucy. To be honest, I don’t even want to think about it. Right now, I just want to drink enough to forget for at least tonight. I can’t get the image of him banging her right there on his desk out of my mind. I swear, I can still see the shock in his eyes when I opened the door, and I’m going to go insane if I don’t erase the memory of it.” Her voice catches on the last sentence.

A single tear trickles down her face, and I know it’s not going to be long before the floodgates open up. I signal for the check, knowing she’ll want to have privacy for her impending breakdown.

Placing my arm around her shoulders, I pull her into me, and she rests her head on my shoulder. “You’re strong, you’re beautiful, and you’ll get through this. I promise. That’s all I’ll say tonight. Let’s go home. I have a bottle of tequila, a box of wine, and a huge Mark Wahlberg collection just waiting to be watched. How does that sound?”

“Can we stop for Rocky Road? No pity party wallowing session is complete without it,” she says, and right now, I’ll do anything she asks just to keep her spirits up.

“Lucky for you, I already have a pint in the freezer. Come on, Charlie. It’s time for PJs, booze, and Marky Mark.”

She gives me a small smile when I hop up from my stool. Grabbing her hand, I lead my best friend out to the car, wishing there were something more I could do to help heal her breaking heart.


I WAS right in the timing of Charlie’s breakdown. We were watching The Fighter, and something must’ve reminded her of Drew because it instantly set her off. One minute she was talking about how hot Mark is and the next she was sobbing on the couch, clutching the bottle of tequila like it was her only lifeline.

Wrapping my arms around her, I hold her as she cries. Her heartbreak is so deep, her sobs so gut-wrenching, that I can’t help but shed a few tears myself.

She pulls back and wipes her eyes even though tears are still coming. “I just don’t understand, Lucy. Why? Why would he do this? We were supposed to get married! How do you go from spending the rest of your lives together to cheating before you even make it to the altar? There was nothing wrong with our sex life. We just had sex last night! Oh my God. What if that wasn’t the first time? What if he gave me something? I’m going to have to get tested now. How freaking embarrassing!” she screeches. Somehow Charlie’s now alternating between anger and tears, and I’m not sure how to handle her.

A loud knock sounds at the door, and we both look at each other with matching startled expressions. I can only hope that it’s Aidan, though no man should probably be in the vicinity of Charlie right now. Unfortunately Drew’s voice follows the knock.

“Charlotte, I know you’re in there! Answer the door, please!” He sounds desperate, as he should, and even though he’s the ultimate asshole right now, I give him credit for chasing after her. But something tells me it’s a little too late. He probably should’ve done that before he finished having sex with that chick right in front of his fiancée.

I look over at Charlie and she shakes her head, placing a finger to her lips. Drew keeps pounding on the door as we sit there in silence, and every so often, I hear her sniff. My phone buzzes and I see that I have a text from Aidan.