Eliza Jane - In Too Deep

He’s quiet for a few moments and my heart pounds in my chest. I have no idea if he’s going to push me away or if he’s realizing what I’m saying is true.

He brings his hand to my face, and softly strokes my cheek with the back of his knuckles. “Okay,” he whispers, nuzzling into my neck.

“Okay?”

“I’ve been thinking about it too,” he says.

“Oh really?” I tease.

“Yes, I was thinking that the, uh,  girlfriend thing – I might like to try that. With you.”

My heart flips and does a somersault. “Really?” Holy God, Colt wants me. Me!

He smiles and takes my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. “Would that make you happy, baby?”

I smile. “I think that could be good.” I try my best to play it cool, but in my mind, I’m twirling in full happy dance mode.

“But?” he prompts, tilting his head at my hesitation.

“But there are probably a few things we need to talk about first.” 

I wait anxiously for Taylor to say something, anything. I’ve just put myself out there, but she presses her lips together, being coy. Then she takes my hand and pulls me down to the bed with her. This is getting interesting.

“I want to…but I’m scared.”

I’m an idiot. Of course she’s scared. This is all new for her.

I take her hand, running my thumb across her knuckles. “No. Don’t be. I promise to be gentle, and we won’t do anything you’re not ready for. Until you’re sure, okay?”

Her lips twist into a smile. “No, I’m not scared of that…”

I tilt my head. Well now I’m thoroughly confused. “Wait. So you’re not a virgin?”

She pulls her hand out of mine. “No. Is that a problem?”

“Of course not. I just thought…”

She swallows, looking unsure. “My ex-boyfriend, Wes.” She looks down as though she’s afraid to admit it.

“Shhh.” I take her hand again. “That doesn’t matter to me. Tell me why you’re scared.”

She settles back, leaning against the pillows, visibly relieved at my reaction. She lets me take her hand and lace my fingers with hers again. But I don’t like the way she studies our hands together, like she’s looking for flaws.

“Everyone seems to think the only reason you haven’t moved on to another girl is because we haven’t, uh, messed around yet. And I’m scared that if we do, you’ll get bored of me…and… I don’t want to lose you.”

“No.” I shake my head, pulling her close, tucking her against my chest.

“No? Just no?” Her voice is questioning, sarcastic.

It makes me smile.

“Care to elaborate?” she asks.

“It’s not like that with you, Taylor. I want you, trust me, more than anything, but that’s not all I want. I like hanging out with you, I like the way you want to train with me, how tough you are. You’re beautiful, smart and sassy as hell, and I love all of it.”

Love? Did I just say love? That came out of nowhere.

“Thank you,” she says against my neck. “If you want to do this…this girlfriend thing, as you call it…we’ll need to take it slow.”

“Okay.” I nod. “I can do slow.”

“Are you sure?” She sounds skeptical.

“No. But I’ll try.” How hard can it be?

The air hangs between us, charged with a new energy, raw and radiating intensity. I like the idea that she’s mine. “So you’ll be with me then?”

She nods.

I pull back and look at her. I bring my hand up and carefully touch her mouth. At my touch, she parts her lips and draws in a breath. She blushes at my attention, her eyes falling closed.

I love the effect I have on her. Fuck, there’s that word again. Love. I ignore it. “These pretty, full lips are mine now.”

Her eyes fly open, studying me. I hold my breath, hoping I haven’t pushed her away with that admission.

She takes a deep breath and releases it slowly. “Even though I’ve done it before, I need you to know that I won’t be ready for sex for a while…okay?”

I nod. “Baby, I told you, that’s fine.” I do my best to reassure her, but my body is on edge with want for her. I take a deep breath, calming myself.

She gives me a naughty little grin. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t play a little.”

I nearly choke on my breath. “Play?”

She nods seductively, blinking up at me, batting her eyelashes. “That okay with you?”

“Yes, please.”

She giggles as I lean in closer, ever eager, but I remind myself not to rush her. I am not going to be good at this going slow thing. But knowing I have to try, I take my time as her rich vanilla scent fills all my senses. 

Colt’s phone has buzzed against his desk twice now. The third time, I hop up from the bed and jog for it. The name Yes flashes on the screen. A pang of jealousy flares up inside of me.

“Who is it?” he asks.

“Here.” I toss the phone at him. I can’t say her name. Actually I don’t even know her name, just the sexy yet ridiculous nickname he’s given her that makes me want to puke. The next time I get a hold of his phone, I’m going to change the contact name to No.

He inspects the phone with a frown, then sets it on the table beside his bed. “Don’t worry about her. You have nothing to worry about.”

We continue snuggling on his bed, pretending to watch a movie when there’s a knock at his door.

We both sit up, looking at each other. Who’d be here this late? “Are you expecting someone?”