"It wasn't."
"I realized that when she turned her head, but unfortunately I'd already started forward. I tripped on my duffel and went down like a hog-tied calf. What followed was more embarrassing than anything I've ever faced. People all gatherin' around and starin', then the ambulance arriving. Talk about feeling like the south end of a horse." He shook his head. "I spent the whole friggin' night in the emergency room getting X-rayed and outfitted in this cast. Definitely not the way I'd hoped to spend the evening. I would have called you, but I, uh, know how you feel about getting calls from the hospital. So I waited until I was discharged, and… here I am."
"Yes, here you are." Looking big and vital and wonderful, albeit bruised, making her heart perform acrobatic leaps. "May I ask why you're here?"
Without taking his gaze from her, he slowly rose, then hobbled toward her. He stopped when only a foot separated them, then leaned forward, bracing his hands on the countertop on either side of her, caging her in. She pressed her backside harder against the counter, but there was no escaping, unless she wanted to give him a shove. Given the facts that he was injured, and her traitorous body was very happy to have him standing so close, she opted against the shove. Instead she gazed into his serious eyes and prayed he couldn't hear her heart pounding.
"I'm here," he said in a low, husky voice, "because this is where you are. And where you are, is where I want to be."
Elation and something akin to panic collided in her. Clearly he wanted to continue their fling. And while her body and mind were all for it, her heart wanted no part of the inevitable battering it would receive when he left again. And damn it, she resented that he obviously believed he could just pop into town and drop by. As if they were still involved. As if their fling hadn't ended.
Forcing a calm detachment that surely deserved an Academy Award, she said, "Is that so. And how long are you in town for this time, cowboy?"
His gaze never wavered. "That depends."
"On what?"
"You."
The intensity of his gaze burned her. Heat emanated from his body and although he hadn't touched her, she still felt scorched. His clean, masculine scent filled her head, notching up her temperature another few degrees. She had to resist the urge to fan herself.
No doubt about it, he was potent, and his nearness was nearly impossible to resist. It would be so easy to fall back into his arms, to touch him and to be with him, to resume their fling. But nothing between them had changed.
She raised her chin. "I fail to see how I would affect the length of your stay. Our relationship ended a month ago."
"No. A month ago, I had to leave. Now I don't have to. Unless…"
"Another rodeo comes along?"
"No. Unless you want me to. And even then, I gotta tell ya, you're going to have a hell of a time gettin' rid of me."
A flicker of hope sparked in her chest, but she ruthlessly extinguished the tiny flame like a blown-out candle atop a birthday cake. "Look, Josh. I'm not interested in another temporary fling."
Whatever reaction she'd expected from him, it certainly wasn't the relief-filled smile that relaxed his features. "Well, now that's exactly what I wanted to hear. 'Cause I'm not interested in another temporary fling, either. And not to put too fine a point on it, but I believe we'd agreed at some point that we were dating."
"And it didn't work out. And nothing about our situation has changed. I don't understand-"
"Oh, but everything about our situation has changed," he broke in.
"Really? How do you figure that?"
"Well, for starters, I've hung up my spurs for good." Clearly her doubt showed, for he added softly, "And I can only ask that you take my word on that, Lexie. I don't make promises I can't keep, and my rodeo days are done. Not because I have to, but because I want to. I beat Wes Handly in Monaco, and set a new record while I was at it. I'll always love the rodeo, but it's time to move on." His gaze rested on hers. "To other things I love."
Her heart and breath seemed to stall. Good thing her lungs knew how to operate on their own, because all her faculties appeared frozen.
"While I was in Monaco, I rented a sailboat," he continued. "Hired myself an experienced captain, and spent an entire day sailing around the harbor. Under his watchful eye, I operated the boat, then I let him take over while I just watched the water and thought about how much I wished my dad was with me and how he would have loved being there."
The sorrow in his eyes tugged at her and she briefly touched his upper arm. "I'm sorry he wasn't, Josh."
A sad smile lifted his lips. "Me, too. But I accomplished what I'd wanted to, and in my heart, I know my dad was with me in spirit. It's another chapter now officially closed."
Tenderness filled her. "I'm glad your sail and your rodeo victory brought you the peace you sought."
"They did. The entire trip taught me a lot. Like about the whole travel-the-world thing." A sheepish expression crossed his face. "That was really more my dad's dream than mine, and to be perfectly honest, I think I've seen enough of it for a while. I'm not a big fan of the jet lag, and going places isn't much fun when you're going by yourself."
"But you were surrounded by rodeo people!"
"Yeah, but that isn't whose company I wanted." His gaze searched hers. "I missed you, Lexie."
Splat. Great. Her heart just fell onto the floor.
Before she could fashion a reply, he reached out and gently traced the tip of his index finger across her cheek. "I missed you so much, I couldn't stand to be away from you any longer. So here I am. For as long as you want me."
She blinked twice, certain this was a dream and she would wake up and find herself alone. But he remained standing in front of her, dark eyes watching her intently. She swallowed to moisten her throat. "What about your ranch?"
"That's the reason I didn't return here sooner. I had to go back to Montana and settle my affairs there. My ranch is in very good hands, being run by men I trust. I'll need to travel back there once every few months, not only to keep an eye on things, but because it's in my blood." He cupped her face in his hands. "But you're in my blood, too. And I was hopin' you'd agree to come with me when I visit the ranch. We could split our time between here and there. I think you'd learn to love Manhattan and the ranch as much as I do."
"What exactly are you saying?" she asked, no longer able to douse the hope his words ignited.
"I'm saying that I want to be with you. That I've taken steps to solve our geographic problem. That I like it here in Florida. I like ridin' horses on the beach in the morning, swimming in the afternoon and sailing in the evening. I like sharing all those things with you." His thumbs skimmed across her cheeks. "Lexie, my mother, who was a very wise woman, told me something I've never forgotten. She said that in our lives, we have only one true love. Everyone else is either practice or a substitute."
"And which one am I-practice or substitute?"
"Neither."
That softly spoken word hung in the air between them. Lexie's heart, which had miraculously risen from the floor, beat so hard she could hear the thump in her ears.
Good Lord, she needed to sit down. She locked her knees to keep from slithering onto the tiled floor. Because unless she was losing her marbles-which was definitely a possibility-Josh had just told her he loved her.
Cautiously she asked, "You love me?"
"Like you wouldn't believe."
Holy cow. She wasn't losing her marbles! "When did you realize you loved me?"
His brow puckered. "Can't say that I can pinpoint the exact moment I knew, but it was pretty early on."
"Before you left for the rodeo?"
"Well before. In fact, I was in over my head pretty much from the get-go."
She raised her brows and tapped her foot. "You didn't tell me so."
"I wanted to, had planned to that last night we were together, but things didn't go as I'd hoped. Before I knew what had happened, I found myself standing in a deep hole. And when you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging."
Clearly another pearl of cowboy wisdom. "So you left."
"Yeah. Timing is everything in the rodeo, and I could see that nothing I said at that point in time would change your mind. But I knew I'd be back as soon as I'd taken care of the things I had to do-things that hopefully would change your mind. And that the timing would now be right." Easing his hands from her face, he braced his weight on one palm against the counter-top, then entwined the fingers of his other hand with hers. "I've laid all my cards on the table, Lexie. What I need to know is how you're going to play your hand."
A wave of love swamped her, nearly drowning her in its wake, filling all the spaces that had remained empty since he'd left. And for the first time since he'd walked out of her house, her heart didn't feel as if it were breaking.
Taking a deep breath, she managed a shaky smile. "Nothing fancy about my hand, cowboy. You've proven yourself a man of integrity, and I'll trust your word on the rodeo issue, although I will keep an eye on you to make sure you don't take up any other activities that are too dangerous. You're living proof that success doesn't have to change a person for the worse, and that a love of competition is different from being an adrenaline junkie. And also that a person can get hurt-" her gaze bounced between his cast and his shiner "-just doing everyday things."
She raised a none-too-steady hand and rested it against his clean-shaven cheek. The feel of his warm, firm skin beneath her palm shot a tingle up her arm. "Swimming, sailing and riding horses with you, visiting Montana with you, all sounds… perfect. With you sounds perfect. I love you," she whispered. "So much I can hardly stand it."
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