“I’m a man of many skills.” He waggled his eyebrows, making her laugh.

She accepted a mug, sniffed it, and smiled. “Hot chocolate?”

“Another staple of my childhood. My secret recipe.”

She took a cautious sip, letting the flavors play over her tongue. “Cinnamon and…”

“A dash of chili powder.”

“I’ve never heard of such a thing.” Another drink, deeper this time. “It’s really, really good.”

“Since we’re revisiting childhood memories, anything you missed out on that you’d like to check off the list?”

The fact that he was offering in the first place, let alone having already made the effort to do just that with the s’mores earlier, made her warm in a way that had nothing to do with the cozy temperature of the cabin. Her childhood was what it was. There was no point in dwelling on it. But Ryan filtered things through a different light, and the gifts he’d given her were priceless. No one, not even Avery and Drew, had ever done anything like that for her. Yes, they knew her past, and, yes, they were completely sympathetic, but their focus was on the here and now. They’d never tried to go back and fill in some of the missing pieces.

To be fair, she’d never considered it either.

She sipped her hot chocolate. “I’ve never had a snowball fight.”

His jaw dropped and he staggered. “What? No snowball fights? My brother and Avery have dropped the ball. We’re fixing that. Right now.”

“Now?” She made a show of looking down her blanket. “But I’m naked.”

“Come on.” He took her mug out of her hands and hauled her off the stool. “Get dressed. We’re doing this. Then we can drink hot chocolate and thaw out by the fire.”

Before she had a chance to protest—not that she really tried—he had her in the bedroom and piled clothing in her hands. Bri laughed as she got dressed, buoyed by his enthusiasm. “This is ridiculous.”

“Most parts of being a kid are.” He pulled his shirt over his head. “The trick to being an adult is maintaining that childlike wonder while still managing to do soul-killing things like paying bills.”

“That’s good to know.” She tied her boots and then he took her hand and practically dragged her through the cabin and out the door. The cold slapped her, nearly making her change her mind about this being a good idea, but Ryan raised his face to the sky and laughed.

“I always forget how much I miss this place when I’m gone.”

The reminder that he was leaving in such a short time was almost enough to make her rethink the wisdom of indulging in any of this, but then he grabbed her hand again and led her out past the shed to the edge of the woods. The snow crunched under their boots, the only sound except for the whispering of the wind through the trees. When was the last time she’d done something silly like this? Bri couldn’t remember. She wasn’t sure she ever had.

“This is how you make a snowball.” Ryan crouched down, demonstrating the packing of the snow.

It wasn’t rocket science, so she hurriedly followed suit. Then, when he stood up and turned toward her, she hit him in the face with it.

“That’s cheating!” His expression made her laugh, even as she scrambled backward. He wiped snow from his eyes and shook his head like a dog. “You’re a natural. You would have been an asset in the Great Snowball Fight of ’98. Drew and I staked out the post office with the biggest pile of snowballs you’d ever seen on our sled.” He grinned. “The plan would have gone off without a hitch if Old Joe hadn’t been walking by. You know he’s a retired Marine sniper?”

“He may have mentioned it once or twice.” She packed another snowball. “You’re lucky Mayor Burns wasn’t there.” The older man used to play minor league baseball, and he still had an arm on him.

Ryan sighed. “No, we weren’t. He came out of the post office right in time to catch a face full of snow. It was all over after that.”

“Do you know the junior high boys still camp out on Main Street on snow days and try to ambush people?” She winked. “I think Old Joe watches for them, because he always seems to show up in the nick of time to save the innocent bystanders.”

A strange look came over his face. “No, I didn’t know that.”

Before she could ask what he was thinking about, his snowball hit her in the shoulder, but by that point she already had another in hand and sent it flying. Things got chaotic from there, her laughing so hard she could barely breathe, let alone focus on dodging his attacks and launching her own. As she peeked out from behind the tree she’d taken cover behind, Ryan swooped in and grabbed her around the waist, taking them both to the ground. They rolled several times before she came up on top, still giggling like a fool. “This is fun.”

“Yeah, it really is.” He smiled up at her as he adjusted her hat. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad Drew and Avery got this insane plan in their heads.”

She still couldn’t quite wrap her mind around how much had changed in such a short time. Two days ago, she would have died rather than frolic around in the snow like a crazy kid with Ryan. And yet here she was, having the time of her life. With him. “I am, too.”

Then she grabbed a handful of snow and shoved it down his shirt. He cursed and grabbed for her, but she was already up and running to the back door of the cabin. Bri turned around just long enough to stick her tongue out at him, and then she was inside. As soon as the heat from the fireplace hit her, she realized just how wet her clothes were and shivered.

“Well, don’t just stand there shaking like a leaf. Get naked.”

“Get naked.” Bri stared as he stripped off his shirt. The man’s shoulders should be illegal. She gave herself a mental shake—or shiver, as it were. “And they say romance is dead.”

“Liars, all of them. Your man just gave you an orgasm and a snowball fight. If that’s not romance, I don’t know what is.”

Your man. She pulled off her shirt in an effort not to let him see how much his words affected her. Ryan might be a lot of things—many of them great—but he wasn’t hers. He couldn’t be.

Except she no longer quite believed that.

By the time she finished taking off her wet things, he was there with a blanket to wrap around her shoulders. “Now, sit. I’ll get some more hot chocolate whipped up.”

There he went, taking care of her again. She sank onto the rug they’d had sex on not too long ago and watched him move purposefully about the kitchen. All this time, she’d been operating under the assumption that something between her and Ryan couldn’t work. But what if it could?

Chapter Fifteen

Ryan built up the fire, then pulled Bri to her feet and swept her into his arms. The snowball fight had been impulsive and silly, but the sound of her gleeful giggles still echoed in his mind. This day had been the most fun he’d had in longer than he cared to remember.

Sure, he enjoyed his squad-mates and they’d had some good times together when they weren’t deployed, but he could only hang out in so many bars and drink so many beers and interact with so many of the same kind of woman, all looking for exactly the same thing. He’d stopped truly enjoying it years ago, though he’d never been able to put his finger on what it was that he actually did want.

Now he knew.

He wanted this. He wanted a partner to act like a fool with, to laugh with, to share new experiences with, to fuck until they both forgot their names. If he were going to be truly honest, he wanted it with this woman.

He laid her on the bed and followed her down, propping himself up next to her. Bri reached up and ran a single finger over his biceps, almost as if she weren’t sure of her welcome. “What are you thinking about?”

He responded by cupping her hip and tucking her against him. “Lots of things.”

“Tell me.”

“I was thinking that I’ve been chasing all the wrong things this entire time.”

She turned those wide blue eyes on him. “What do you mean?”

“I joined the PJs because I got to see some of the world I’d been so desperate for and serve a higher purpose—and to get away from the boy I was, growing up in Wellingford. It was everything I thought I wanted.” He took a deep breath. “But it hasn’t been enough for a long time. Something was always missing.” Something he’d just gotten a glimpse of and didn’t want to let go.

She ran a hand up his arm and back down again. “I don’t want to be presumptuous, but I think I might understand what you mean. You were content, but you haven’t been happy.”

He considered. “Yeah, that’s a pretty fair description.”

“I’m familiar with the feeling.” Then she cuddled a little closer, making his heart give another one of those almost-painful lurches. “So, what are you going to do about it?”

That was the question, wasn’t it? Ryan smoothed his fingers through her hair, marveling at how thick and soft it was. This was the moment when things could change, either for the better or to make their remaining time in this cabin hell. But there was only one way to find out, and his brother hadn’t raised a coward. “I’d like a chance to date you, Bri. Exclusively,” he added, because the thought of her with anyone else made him want to beat the prospective man bloody.

Her breathing picked up, but she didn’t slap him and run from the bedroom, so he figured she wasn’t entirely against the idea. Then again, he could never be sure when it came to her. She was just as likely to be considering how much time it would take for her to grab a chair and bean him again.

When the silence stretched out, Ryan wondered if he’d misread the situation. He rubbed his thumb over a strand of her hair. “No pressure. Things haven’t exactly been smooth between us from the start, so I get it if you—”