Wait. Why should I care about that? Just because it happened once doesn’t mean it has to happen again. I could change it. I am trying not to ruin this summer. How can I do that if I let everything go on as if I was not there when I am here now? I have already paved the way to a new destination by staying here instead of leaving. Who’s to say I can’t do the same tonight?

I send back: “I’m in.”

* * *

Ben and Lyndsay arrive around six thirty to pick me up. Under normal circumstances, I would have been ready at the door had I not started to over-think what to wear. What do you wear at a party? Would jeans and a T-shirt be too casual? Would a sundress be too formal?

Lyndsay takes one look at the small pile of clothes on my bed and says, “Are you coming down with something?”

“What? No. Why?”

“You never fuss this much over clothes.”

I pause in the middle of my closet-digging. She’s right, I don’t. Why should today be any different from any other day? I attribute it to my wanting to be noticed. All Lyndsay is wearing is a lacy-edged brown tank top with tan capris. I decide to leave it up to her. Lifting up two possibilities, I ask, “Which one?”

“Kelly green tee with denim shorts.”

“Great.” I change into them.

She sits down on my bed and sifts through the clothes. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I just couldn’t make up my mind.” I throw on my high-top green sneakers. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“Here.” She reaches over to my vanity and pulls out a white bead necklace. “This will complete the outfit.”

I slip the necklace over my head and look at my reflection. Simple and perfect. I give her a nod of approval. “Thanks.”

I leave a note for my mom telling her where I'm going. She left a couple hours ago to take Kaitlin to her friend Paige’s house for a sleepover, then run errands. I make sure to note that I'll be home by ten, since tomorrow is important. That ought to put her mind at ease.

When we get in the car, Ben asks, “What took so long?”

“Fashion crisis,” Lyndsay says, winking at me.

Ben notices. “Ah, I see… Where is this party?”

Lyndsay puts on her seatbelt. “It's at Roger’s house, which is on Woodlawn off Main.”

“Okay.” He pulls out of the driveway. “Is it a left or a right off Main?”

She turns to him. “You know, I’m not sure.”

“It’s a right, remember?” I interject.

She glances back at me, raising one eyebrow. “How can I remember if I’ve never been there?”

Uh-oh. She wouldn’t remember. She told me about getting lost going to this party. I play dumb. “Oh. I thought you had.” She just rolls her eyes at me.

The party is in full swing when we arrive. There are a few people out front but inside it's wall to wall. I get that uneasy feeling again. Less than three months ago, I missed this party. Today, I am here. Today shouldn’t be happening. I wish I knew how it was.

Roger isn't far from the front door. When he spots us, he shouts, “Hey! Welcome!” He gives us all high fives and moves on to the people coming in behind us.

“Let’s find the kitchen and get some drinks,” Lyndsay says. We weave through the crowd until we find it. My eyes search for Chevy. I’m so distracted I don’t hear Lyndsay talking to me. “Hello! Earth to Adrienne!”

I shake my head out of my trance and ask, “What?”

She raises her eyebrows. “You’re acting strange tonight.” She hands me a cup of pop.

“Whatever do you mean, dear Lynds?” I say before I take a sip.

Ben speaks up. “What she means to say is you’re a strange cookie.” He grins as Lyndsay jabs him with her elbow. “Ow! I take it back. You’re very normal, Adrienne.”

With everything I have faced in the last forty-eight hours, I highly doubt that. Still, I laugh and reply, “That might be pushing it a little, but I hope so.”

“He’s probably out back,” Lyndsay says. “Go ahead. Ben and I can mingle with the masses.”

“I don’t want to just leave you.”

Ben waves me off. “You didn’t dress to impress me,” he says pointedly. “Go. Scoot.”

I heave a sigh and scoot to the back, as he suggested. A few of my former classmates stop me to say hello and hug. I'm almost there when Chevy bursts in through the back doorway, frowning, his eyes darting around the room. When they rest on me, his shoulders relax and he smiles. He walks over quickly. “Come with me,” he says, taking my elbow in his as he turns me around.

“Everything okay?” I ask as my heart skips a beat at his sudden closeness.

“It will be in a minute.” We walk downstairs into the basement, which looks more like a gaming room. There's a group of boys playing a football video game in front of a big-screen television. A couple of girls sit on the floor watching their boyfriends play. On the other side is a serious game of table tennis and an even more serious poker game. “Here we are,” he says, looking at a couch. He lets go of my elbow and we sit down. He glances back at the stairs. “Yes, this is much better.”

“What happened?”

He shakes his head. “I’m trying to avoid Heidi.”

Did he say what I think he said? Wait, if he's avoiding Heidi, why would he have been kissing her last time? There is only one thing different: me.

My skin tingles in delight.

“Why do you want to avoid her?” I ask.

He covers his face for a second with his hand. “She's been relentless in attempting to win me back. She told one of her friends she was going to corner me tonight. I saw her coming around the side of the house. I'll be hiding for the rest of the night.”

I frown. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I brought this on myself for even dating her to begin with.” He sighs and shakes his head. “Moving on. So, tell me…what's up with the nursing?”

How do I explain this without sounding crazy? “I've spent all my life working toward that goal. It's like a trophy my mom placed on a pedestal. It has been sitting there all these years, waiting for me to pick it up. Now that I'm standing right in front of it I feel...overwhelmed. I don't know if it's the obligation or if it's me.”

“And that scares you, doesn’t it?”

“Definitely.”

He stares at the wall for a second, thoughtful, then brings his attention back to me. “Let me ask you this: If nursing wasn’t on the table, what else do you think you would want to do?”

I blink a couple times. I have never been asked what I want, nor have I thought about it. “Um...well…” I look down at my hands. “I’m not sure. I never imagined doing anything else. I was never allowed to imagine doing anything else. I just did what was expected and left it at that.”

“I see. How does your dad feel?”

“He never objected to it. Then again, he never promoted it either.” The whole time I stayed with him, he didn’t mention nursing. “Maybe he wanted me to think about what else was out there. If that were the case, it would've been nice if he would have just said so. Maybe he was afraid of upsetting my mom.” That would make two of us then.

Chevy leans forward. “Here’s what I think. You need to determine what it is you want out of life. I got lucky that the career my dad has is something I enjoy doing too. You need to figure out what you enjoy and find a career to suit who you are, whether it is what your mom wants or not.”

I sigh. “I know you’re right, but I don’t want to disappoint my mom.”

“I don’t think it’s possible for you to disappoint her.”

I smile and chuckle. “Easy for you to say.” Looking him in the eye, I say, “Thanks. I appreciate the advice.”

“Anytime.” He points a finger at me. “Just remember what this means.”

“And what’s that?” I ask, tilting my head with a smile.

“Next time it will be my turn.” He takes a swig from his drink. In the middle of his sip, his eye catches something that makes him stop. “Uh-oh.”

I turn my head to find Heidi standing at the bottom of the stairs. Her bleach-blonde hair matches the hot pink bikini top over her white short shorts. I remember the nice sandy blonde color she used to have at the beginning of high school. She was actually a very sweet girl growing up. Then she started to hang with the cheerleading girls and everything changed.

I frown. Why did she have to come down here? Before either of us can hide, she spots Chevy and begins to saunter over with a sway in her hips.

Chevy is obviously very bothered with her presence. He pleads in a whisper, “Please, help me get away from her.”

My heart swells with hope. “No problem.” I bite my lip. How can we get away from her? “I have an idea. Finish your drink.” I drink the rest of mine and he does likewise.

Heidi sits right next to Chevy as if she belongs there. “Hey you,” she says sweetly. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

Chevy forces a smile. “Hey.”

She looks suspiciously at me. “What are you guys talking about?”

“Just stuff,” I say. “We were just about to go refill our drinks.”

She frowns dramatically. “But Chevy, I was hoping that we could, you know, talk.” She slings her arm around his shoulder.

When she uses the word “talk” it doesn't sound like she wants to just talk. She's only been here for less than a minute and this has already gone too far. Chevy wants me to save him. Time to go to Plan B.

With a deep breath, I take his hand in mine. His eyes widen. I give Heidi a sweet smile. “Actually, we were planning on heading upstairs to find a more private place to, you know, talk.” I raise my eyebrows at Chevy.

He nods with a smirk, now on the same page as me. “That’s right. Come on, Adrienne.” We stand up and walk away, still holding hands. I glance back at her just in time to catch the dirtiest look I have ever been given. I hold in a laugh.