Quietly, muffled by his shoulder, I ran through the carnival of crapulence that had been my lot since we left Nebraska. Ty held me and stroked my back, my hair, like he couldn’t stand to let go of me. I curled against him, reveling in his tenderness. Finally, I concluded, “And it was freezing on the way home, so much that my hands hurt by the time we got here.”

“I saw the broken window on your car when I came in and went straight to your place to make sure you were okay.”

“Fine. Just tired, sore and completely pissed off.”

“Sit down.”

“But Sam...?”

“My mom had him bundled up, throwing snowballs for an hour tonight. Then he had hot soup and a bath. I’ll be amazed if he’s awake before morning, but...I’m willing to risk it.”

This invite was such a huge step; I wondered if he even realized.

“If you’re sure.” I didn’t need further encouragement to curl up on the cozy red couch.

He sat behind me and pressed his thumbs to the base of my neck, rubbing in firm circles. “How’s that?”

“Incredible.” It was impossible for me to think, let alone speak, while he massaged my neck and shoulders. When he got to my head, I was a warm, sleepy noodle in his arms.

“Why didn’t you call me?” Reasonable question. “Lauren had her phone, right?”

Embarrassed, I admitted, “Normally, I use the names in my contact list. I don’t remember too many numbers.”

“Work and your parents?” he guessed.

“Pretty much. I’m not even sure I know Lauren’s number, and we’ve been friends since second grade. I’m sorry I scared you.”

A few moments passed in silence. “You didn’t mean to. But I’d rather not live through a day like this one again.”

His tone alarmed me enough to shift so I could look at his face. “Ty?”

Tense again, I waited for him to say that we were getting in too deep. Instead, he whispered, “I’m so glad you’re home. Sam was crying when I picked him up from school.”

“What happened?” There was one biter, a hair puller and two toy stealers in his group. Maybe he had a problem with one of them?

“Nothing, he just missed you. He’s used to you being in his classroom.”

“I missed you guys, too. I love my parents, but there’s a reason I only see them once a year. Next time I’ll go during the summer.”

“Flying’s faster,” he pointed out.

“More expensive, too.” Though after weighing the cost of fuel, new window and phone, maybe I should’ve flown. “And it’s an hour to fly out of Ann Arbor from here, there are no nonstops, and my parents have to drive two hours to pick me up.”

“How small is this town?”

“Less than five thousand people. It was a big deal when they put in a stop sign at the Stop and Go.”

“Damn. And I thought Mount Albion was bad.”

“It’s really not.” The core population held steady just under ten thousand and the university swelled it by another 6K during the school year. It also made it kind of a challenge to find a decent part-time job, which was why we’d thrown a party for Lauren when she finally switched from food court to fine arts.

“You must be dead tired,” he whispered, kissing the back of my neck.

I didn’t take it as a prelude to sex, only an observation. But I wished so hard that he was my boyfriend, and we could go to bed together. Right now. Yes. Please. I swallowed hard, breath quickening. The yearning sprang partly from physical attraction, but also because I wanted to be close to him—without terms and conditions. I want you, I thought. But I couldn’t say it. There was no way he’d risk Sam having a bad dream and walking in on us. I went cold just thinking about it; that would tarnish everything. Keeping quiet didn’t stop the wanting, though.

I had to hide it. If Ty felt he wasn’t meeting my needs, he’d call it off.

What’s the saying? Half a loaf is better than none. My grandmother used to say something like that in Russian, usually when I was complaining about my dinner. It applied to this situation especially, since my heart might starve without these stolen moments with Ty.

So I nodded, keeping my response simple. “If we’re okay, I need to get back upstairs and work on some stuff for tomorrow. I emailed the professors whose classes I missed, but they haven’t replied. I swear they’re making me sweat on purpose.”

“Sounds probable. And yeah, we’re fine. I have a design due for Thursday, anyway.”

“Would you show me what you’re working on before I go?” I stood, hoping the answer was yes. From the pen-and-ink sketches he’d framed, I knew Ty could draw, but I’d never seen anything else.

“Come on.” After grabbing his backpack, he led me down the hall to his studio, sparsely furnished with a drafting table and computer desk. Then he got out a thin sheet of paper, tightly rolled to protect against smudging. He unfurled it and set paperweights on each corner, so I could see. “It’s supposed to be a restaurant.”

It was an external view of a modern, rectangular structure with what looked like an outdoor terrace and rooftop bar. “This would do nicely for a Japanese teppanyaki place.”

Surprise flashed in his eyes then a pleased smile. “I haven’t gotten that far, but I like it. Maybe I’ll finish it with that in mind. The professor likes specificity.”

“You’re really good. I should hire you to sketch me for my mom’s birthday.”

“Portraits aren’t my thing,” he warned.

“I know, I was kidding.” Leaning forward, I put a hand on his shoulder and kissed him softly, the sweetest good-night kiss ever. “Thanks for worrying about me.”

“Like I could help it.” Ty walked me to the door, and I hurried upstairs.

Unsurprisingly, all three of my roomies were in the living room, waiting to scrutinize me when I tapped to be let in. Max did the honors while Angus studied my hair. “So there was talking. Are you and Mr. Hot Ginger in a good place?”

“Lauren! Why’d you tell Angus to call him that? His name is Ty. And yeah, we’re fine.”

She grinned, ignoring my mock-frown. “He sure is.”

Max interjected, “I can take your car to the shop tomorrow. I’m pretty sure we can fix the window. If need be, I’ll swing by the junkyard and get a replacement.” As I considered the logistics, he suggested, “I’ll give you a ride to work on my bike and pick you up in your car on my lunch hour. You can drop me off before you head to campus.”

“Okay, deal. How much will this cost me?”

“Depends, but I’ll work on it free. So just parts.”

Relieved, I hugged him hard around the neck. Until Max came through, I had no idea how I was fixing my car, replacing my phone, buying Christmas presents for my friends and family, plus the usual expenses of rent, food and utilities. My knees actually felt a little weak.

Angus seemed to take it as a personal challenge, though, because he said, “I was thinking about buying you a new phone for Christmas, anyway.”

“That’s too much.” I shook my head. While Angus came from money, I didn’t like him buying me expensive things. His boyfriends generally felt otherwise.

“Then I’m using my upgrade and giving you the one I have now.”

“I’d let him do it for me,” Lauren said. “Provided the SIM fits.”

“It should.” Angus’s current phone was one step up from my old one. “Okay. But I forbid you to buy me anything for Christmas.” Beyond touched, I leaned down and hugged them all at once. “You guys are the best friends ever.”

“Hey,” Max said, tapping the end of my nose. “You’re always around when we need you. So it would be pretty shitty if we said ‘good luck with life’ when you need us back.”

When I went to sleep that night, I felt much better.

At Rainbow Academy the next day, Ty pounced as soon as I hopped off Max’s bike. He kissed me good morning in the parking lot. I wrapped my arms around his neck and returned it full measure. When he pulled back, he kissed my forehead and each cheek in turn, mouth deliciously hot against the chill in the air. A shiver went through me.

“Keep this up and I’ll think you missed me.”

“Don’t ever doubt it.”

The wave of euphoria in the wake of Ty’s words carried me all the way to Mrs. Trent’s classroom. Sam was ecstatic when I walked in. “Hey, bud.”

“My name is Sam! Where were you? You were gone forever.”

“Was not. It was, like, four days.”

Sam pulled on my arm. “My mom’s gone forever.”

“Yeah?”

“Dad says she’s really busy. With science.”

I had no idea what to say, but Mrs. Trent started the day’s routine, distracting Sam. Just as well. I wasn’t ready for that conversation. But Sam was clingier than usual; it seemed like he hardly climbed off my lap all day.

At noon, when Max picked me up at work, my car window was fixed. “You are so awesome. I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate this. How much?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

No matter how I argued, Max wouldn’t even let me pay for the replacement window, and that afternoon, Angus used his upgrade, passing along his old phone. My friends are the best. After such a shitty return from Nebraska, I braced for life to explode further, but my professors didn’t bitch about the absence and let me turn in assignments a day late. The next day, my phone carrier came through with a replacement SIM, leaving me in good shape for Wednesday when I had to show Ms. Parker my lesson plan. If she approved it, I’d teach class the following week.

So understandably, I was nervous when I arrived at C-Cool. I waited for a lull, students working quietly at their desks, before offering my work. She flipped through the handouts and markers I’d created; I couldn’t tell what she thought from her expression.