Ann Aguirre - I Want It That Way

“Well, which is it?” She aimed a hard look at us.

“Nadia doesn’t agree with how I’m handling a personal problem, so she’s pushing me to make a move, and I snapped back. Then I apologized. Before you walked up, Lauren. It’s handled. We’re good. Right, Nadia?” His eyes begged me not to say anything, like he was scared to death she’d take his heart and stomp on it.

I sighed. “Yeah. That’s exactly what happened. And we’re fine. To prove how fine, Max just asked me to dance.”

He bit out a curse that Lauren couldn’t hear because just then, a slow song came on. Max wanted to slow dance with me as much as I wanted to do the Macarena. I took one step toward the couples getting cozy and pretended to wince. I bent to rub my toes, as if I had a blister.

“Do you mind?” I asked Lauren. “Max loves this song.”

Behind me, he was mouthing, what the hell, but when she shrugged and took his hand, I grinned like a crazy person. I gave him a this is your chance look, but he shook his head. He was a good six inches taller than Lauren, if not more, so she couldn’t see the expression on his face as she settled into his arms. He touched his cheek briefly to the top of her head, and it was one of the sweetest things I’d ever seen.

Angus came up beside me, eyes wide in horror. “Dear God. How did I miss this?”

“You had Josh problems.”

“Come on, let’s talk and dance.” He led me out and added, “So do we support this?”

Since he knew something was up, there was no point in hiding it. “Top secret, you swear?”

“Cross my heart, all appropriate solemnities.”

“Max digs her. She doesn’t know and probably wouldn’t believe it if she did. I’ve been trying to get him to be brave, but so far, he prefers silent anguish. Otherwise, I’m not interfering.” I didn’t mention the fact that they’d hooked up once or that Max’s fading bruises had something to do with Lauren.

“Right. And your sore toes have miraculously improved,” he said with a head shake.

“It’s you. Have you considered becoming a faith healer?”

“I might enjoy the laying on of hands. But no. These hands will heal as God intended, via modern medicine with a high premium attached.”

“I don’t think plastic surgery technically counts as healing, Angus.” Last I knew, that was his intended area of concentration once he finished med school.

“It is for burn victims.”

“And you’ll be doing mostly restorative procedures?”

“Shut up and dance,” he muttered.

Just past one, the party got really loud and crazy. As predicted, some noncollege people showed up, and they looked like a rough crew. We decided en masse to roll out then, not least of all because I had an early morning. Angus was sober, a relief, because I’d had enough beer to buzz me pretty good. In the back with Max, I was feeling mellow, so when a sharp curve threw me against him, I stayed.

“You’re heavy,” he complained.

“You’re an asshole. Don’t ever say that to a girl.”

“Even when it’s true?”

“Especially then.”

With a faint sigh, he put his arm around me, and I couldn’t help but compare Max to Ty. He felt wrong, smelled wrong, even held me wrong. But he was warm at least.

“Fine, you’re made of moonlight and gossamer. Better?”

“Immeasurably.”

We sat together companionably until Angus parked in his spot outside the building. “This will probably be my last fiesta for a while. I have to get serious before finals.”

That was no joke since Angus’s program was mad competitive. But I was in the same boat. Depending on how I did on midterms, I might need to focus even more to make sure my GPA stayed high enough for me to keep my scholarship. Other people skipped class more than I did, partied harder and longer, but they didn’t have parents who were mortgaging their future, gambling everything on one kid making good.

“We’ll party again after exams,” Lauren said.

Everyone nodded, even Max. Then we headed up to the apartment. After checking my alarm, I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. Have to be up in five hours. Wincing at that, I plugged in my phone for the first time all day. Deliberately I hadn’t looked at it since I left Ty’s. I don’t want to be that girl, living for text messages.

But I had one waiting from him, sent four hours ago.

I miss you already.

Smiling, I sent back, Me, too.

November went by in a flurry of work, classes and practicum. In my off hours, I studied hard and worked on the lesson I’d be teaching before winter break. Ty messaged me regularly, and sometimes he left home late enough to steal kisses in the Rainbow Academy parking lot. Each time he walked away, there was an awful pang in my stomach.

Sometimes it felt like all I did was watch him leave.

But Sam was a bright spot. It seemed like he was always beside me at work, tugging on my pants, asking questions, hugging me unexpectedly. I wasn’t sure how Ty would feel about that, but it had to be okay because I was his day-care teacher. Sam was forming this bond on his own, not because of my relationship with Ty. We’d done a fantastic job of keeping that private and separate, just like he wanted.

Before I knew it, the month was nearly gone. The day before Thanksgiving, Lauren crawled out of bed at half past five and poked me awake, so we could get on the road to Nebraska. Here in Michigan, the weather was spitting snow, but so far, there wasn’t any at home yet. With luck, the roads would stay clear long enough for us to get there and back. The Toyota wasn’t exactly equipped with four-wheel drive.

A text came in as I grabbed my bag. Ty’s picture popped up, along with the message.

Be careful. Come back safe.

I liked imagining that he knew exactly what I was doing and that he could tell when I woke up. Maybe it was crap, but it helped to believe we had a real connection, as he implied a few weeks back. While Lauren was in the bathroom, I crept downstairs in my stocking feet. It was too early to say goodbye in person, so I’d bought this silly thing at the dollar store: orange and russet ribbons, twining around a tiny cornucopia with plastic fruit spilling forth. The kitschy thing looked Thanksgiving-ish and wasn’t too heavy to tie around the doorknob.

But as I bent to do that, Ty’s door swung open. He was ruffled and barefoot, wearing only a pair of gym shorts, which I guessed he’d slept in. “Sorry, I crashed out on the couch. Wanted to make sure I didn’t miss you this morning.”

“Huh?” I thought the text was all I’d get. He worked full-time, he had Sam, and there was night school, too. It was a wonder he ever slept at all; I didn’t expect him to get up to see me off.

“Give me some credit,” he said softly.

I wore a goofy smile as I said, “Okay.”

Then he bent to kiss me goodbye. Wrapping my arms around him, I made it count, tasting him until we were both breathing fast. Ty leaned his forehead against mine.

“It’s only four days. And then another month until our next weekend. We can hold out, right?” He sounded like he was living for those two days, as if they were twinkling lights in an ocean of darkness.

“Yep. Since we’ll be on break, there’s no coursework, no reading, no projects.”

“I have something special planned, so you’ll need to pack warm clothes, pretty much the best winter gear you have. Bear that in mind.”

My eyes widened. “So we’re not staying in this time?”

“It’s a surprise. Now you should get going before Lauren comes down and catches us making out.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” I asked, surprised. My impression was Sam couldn’t know about us, but I didn’t realize we were a dirty secret otherwise.

“Not for me. I didn’t know if you told her about...us.” His hesitation said he wasn’t sure how to categorize what we had, the whole FWB situation.

“Yeah. She calls you Hot Ginger, by the way. For the life of me, I cannot get her to use your name.”

A sexy, surprised smile curved his mouth, and I suppressed the urge to kiss him. “I can live with that. But since I don’t know her, it’s more respectful to refer to me as Mr. Hot Ginger.”

“Noted,” Lauren said, standing at the bottom of the stairs with my bag.

“Morning.” Ty seemed unfazed, but close-up, a hot flush raced across his cheekbones.

“You got my phone and my purse?” I asked.

“Yep, we’re ready to roll. I even brought your shoes.”

I grinned. “You know me so well, it’s scary.”

Quickly, I kissed Ty one last time and then jogged over to cram my boots on. I shrugged into the coat Lauren offered and wrapped up in a scarf while Ty watched. Since I expected him to retreat any minute, I was surprised when he watched us leave. We went out into the predawn gloom on a burst of frosty wind, and only as the door closed behind us did Ty vanish into his apartment. Lauren grabbed on to me, shaking my arm.

“Dear God. Why didn’t you tell me Mr. Hot Ginger looks like that with no shirt on? I feel like you’ve violated, like, ten articles of the girl code.”

“You’re insane,” I mumbled, opening the trunk so we could pack it.

“Don’t change the subject. He’s fucking gorgeous. Some guys look better with their clothes on, you know? And when you finally get them naked, you’re like, Oh, God, he’s a bear rug! And you’re pretty sure the night ends with you picking fur out of your teeth.”

Shuddering, I said, “I have no words. It’s too early for this.”

I was shivering by the time I got the key in the door. The Toyota was old enough that it didn’t have a remote, and the heater was janky. We had been driving for fifteen minutes before it truly kicked in. Thankfully, Lauren had shut up about Ty.