"Chicken and egg thing," he said, getting a confused look from her. He explained. "I didn't want to be at home because I didn't want to face the fact our marriage was over, but maybe if I'd been home more, our marriage would've been better."
"I'm sorry, too, Trey." She spoke with choked emotion. "I shouldn't have done what I did. I was lonely, but that's no excuse. I know if there were problems in our marriage, I should've talked to you about it, not someone else. And especially not your brother."
"I felt betrayed," Trey said, with difficulty. "But it's also a form of betrayal when you withhold your feelings, withdraw, don't share your feelings, hopes, fears and I guess we're both guilty of that."
"That's true." She looked surprised. "Wow, Trey, I can't believe you just said that."
He couldn't believe it either. Marli--he'd betrayed her that way, too. His chest ached.
"I felt like you let me down," Lisa said. "You weren't there and didn't seem to care. It was just all so...exciting. Travis was interested in me. He was there; he listened to me. He made me feel special. Desirable." She wiped her eyes with her fingertips. "You'll never know how guilty I feel about what I did. And not only have I messed up your life, my life and Travis's life, but I've messed up Aidan's life, too." Her voice broke. "He's so little and he doesn't deserve that. He hasn't done anything."
"We'll make sure his life isn't messed up," Trey said hoarsely. He cleared his throat. "I've been thinking about that. Sheldon Barnes' mother screwed him up because of all the nutso things she did to him. Look what happened to him." He shook his head.
"You're not comparing me to his mother!"
"God, no, that's not what I meant at all," he said hurriedly. "I'm just saying, what happens to a kid early in life affects him always. Yeah, our family is messed up right now, but we don't have to ruin Aidan's life. That's why I'm here, and I'll make sure Travis is here for you and for Aidan, or I'll kick his butt."
She laughed through her tears. "Okay."
He wasn't sure if he could forgive Lisa and Travis for what they'd done. Maybe some day. Forgiveness wasn't necessarily forgetting--that would certainly never happen--but maybe forgiveness was just committing to not dwell on what had happened. Maybe replacing painful, angry thoughts with positive thoughts about Aidan and the possibilities of his life would lead to forgiveness. Trey was determined he would never take out all his hurt and anger and feelings of betrayal on the little guy sleeping peacefully across the room.
"You're a good man, Trey," Lisa said.
Enough people kept telling him that, he might actually start to believe it. "Nah. I've made a lot of mistakes."
"Everyone makes mistakes. But we can learn from them."
He considered it. Sure, that was the cliche. But maybe he could learn to be a better husband, a better person, someone Marli could deserve.
"Trey, I don't know if you can ever forgive me, but we could try to start over."
He looked at Lisa and knew the answer to that deep inside him, and it had nothing to do with betrayal or forgiveness.
"It's too late, isn't it?" Her face shadowed with sorrow.
He nodded. "I'm sorry."
He had many other things he had to do. See his lawyer. His doctor. His supervisor. And most of all, his family. First, his brother.
Travis's mouth dropped when he opened the door to him. "Trey."
Trey wasn't sure how to handle this. "Hey."
"You're...back. We saw you on TV." He stood aside and motioned Trey into his apartment. "You finally got that bastard."
Trey nodded, ran a hand through his hair as he walked in. "Yeah. Finally."
"So..." Travis swallowed, eyes looking everywhere but at Trey.
"We need to talk."
Travis grimaced. "Yeah. I guess so." Trey took a chair, while Travis lowered himself to the couch. "I guess I should start. With an apology." He leaned forward, arms on his knees. "I don't know what else to say, except I'm really, really sorry, Trey."
There was a long silence, fraught with tension. "Why, Travis? Why'd you do that?"
"It's not a question of why I did it," Travis answered slowly. "It's more, why didn't I stop. I didn't set out to steal your wife. It just kind of happened. I'd drop by to see you and you were never there, and Lisa was. She was kind of lonely. We'd go out for coffee. We talked."
He hung his head. "I've always liked Lisa. Even before you two got married, but honest to God, I'd never have deliberately done anything. But she was there, and available and lonely, and it just happened.
"It's not an excuse," Travis added. "There is no excuse. I'm just telling you what happened. And I'm sorry. I should've done the right thing and just walked away. But I'm not strong and perfect like you."
Trey snorted, rolled his eyes at that.
"You have a nephew, Trey. You should see him."
"I already did." He paused. "You and Lisa?"
Travis shook his head. "We're not together. I'm going to be in Aidan's life, but things didn't work out with me and Lisa," he said gloomily. "She doesn't feel that way about me." He met Travis's eyes. "I think she's still in love with you, Trey."
Sadness pushed down on him. "We fell out of love a long time ago."
Silence weighed heavy for a moment.
"Mom and Dad are worried sick about you," Travis said. "So's Julie. You have to talk to them."
Hearing that reminded him of Marli and the things she'd said to him, and then he remembered... "Get up," he said.
"Huh?"
"Get up," he repeated in a hard voice, standing. His fists clenched at his side. Travis slowly stood. Trey moved around the coffee table and with a lightning-fast move, he drove his fist into his brother's gut.
Travis doubled over, moaning, then slumped into the chair.
"Get up!" Trey snarled again, nudging Travis's foot with his own.
"I deserve that," Travis croaked, huddled on the sofa, clutching his stomach.
Trey grabbed his brother's shirt and hauled him up. "Tell me you've always practiced safe sex," he snapped, his face right there in Travis's.
"What?" Travis struggled to get his wits back.
"Safe sex. Condoms. Tell me you always use them."
"Yeah. Yeah, of course I do."
"How'd Lisa get pregnant?"
"I swear, we used a condom," Travis said desperately. "It broke or something."
"And every other girl you've slept with?"
"Condoms. Always. I swear."
Trey threw him back down in the chair. "And did any of those break?"
"No!"
"You'd better be telling the truth."
Travis panted, staring at him.
Trey rubbed his forehead. Using his fists wasn't exactly improving his communication skills. What the hell was he thinking. "Sorry," he muttered.
"Feel better now?"
He glanced up and saw Travis's mouth twitch. A slow smile stretched his own lips. "Yeah, I do."
Chapter 24
Marli had spent the entire week picking up the pieces of her business and her life. She'd been on the phone constantly, sucking up to clients, rescheduling shoots, having business lunches. She'd been working late into the evenings, trying to get as much done as she could, so her clients didn't suffer for her disappearance.
Many had heard about what happened to her and were very understanding. A couple of others had taken their business elsewhere, and really, she couldn't blame them. It was business, after all, and if they needed photographs to advertise their products and there were publication deadlines and project timelines, they needed to get the job done somehow.
Shortly after Trey had left, her parents had shown up at her door from Newport, frantic with worry about what they'd been seeing on the news. They'd found her sitting on her kitchen floor, crying, which had alarmed them no end. She'd reassured them she was fine, perfectly safe, unhurt, but luckily they couldn't see her bruised and battered heart.
She also had dinner with her friends Jenn and Rachel, who'd left her a number of increasingly frantic voice mail messages. They'd been all over her with questions about what had happened and inquiries about Trey. She wasn't quite ready to talk about Trey yet, but she knew one day she would.
"It's so weird to not have Krista here," Rachel said sadly.
They all agreed. Marli shared her feelings of overwhelming guilt about how things had ended between her and Krista, and sharing it all again made it that much less painful. It was as if every time she talked about it expelled some of the guilt. Her friends reassured her Krista had loved her, and had known Marli loved her, too.
"You knew Krista," Jenn said. "Do you think right now, looking down on us, she's blaming you for what happened? Do you think she's up there saying, 'If only Marli had stopped me'?"
Marli shook her head. She could not imagine Krista saying or thinking that.
"She would never say that," Rachel said earnestly. "You know that. You were friends. You weren't responsible for her every move, every choice."
"I know," Marli said. "I know that now. I just wish things had ended with us not mad at each other."
"You two had a whole life of love and laughter," Jenn pointed out. "One fight doesn't negate all that."
It had helped to talk to her friends about it, just as it had helped to talk to Trey. She was so grateful he'd been there and been so understanding, letting her open up and share her feelings with him without judging her at all. If only he would do the same for himself.
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