Win wasn’t certain which was worse-her grief over Beulah or her selfloathing. “I’m sorry, Cait,” he said awkwardly.

“First Pa, now Beulah.” She turned slowly and raised her gaze to Win. The hollow sadness in her eyes was like a spear through his chest. “Are you going to leave me, too, Win?”

He ignored his own warnings to keep his distance and hugged her. “Awww, Caity.”

She stiffened, then slowly relaxed into his embrace, her weight resting more fully against him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her cheek in the center of his chest. The same protectiveness he’d felt for her when they were children swamped him. He’d never felt this fierce emotion with any other woman.

He rubbed her back with a soothing upanddown motion and rested his chin on her crown, whispering gentle, calming words. He didn’t realize she was crying until her tears soaked through his shirt, dampening his skin. Tightening his embrace, he kissed the top of her head.

“Let it all out, Cait. It’s okay,” Win murmured.

Dust motes swirled around them and the horses’ quiet whickers wafted in with the cool evening air. Insects buzzed and an owl hooted.

Win had lived the past ten years riding from one ranch to the next, spending his money in every saloon he could find, and never leaving more than a soonforgotten memory behind. He’d never been tempted to stay in one place longer than it took to do what he was hired to do. There was always another job, another saloon, and another woman down the road.

None of those things were what he wanted. Not anymore. Cait had stolen his heart all those years ago and he hadn’t even realized it was missing until this moment. But what could he do about it?

“Are you hungry?” he asked when she shifted in his hold.

“Not really.”

“Did you eat something in town?”

He felt her shake her head against his chest.

“Why don’t we go inside and I’ll see what I can throw together?”

Cait eased back and lifted her head. “Last time you did the cooking, we ended up gnawing on burnt beef and nearly raw potatoes.”

He chuckled, remembering his attempt long ago at making supper when he’d complained about Cait’s cooking one night while he and his pa’d been visiting. “I’ve never criticized a woman’s cooking since.”

He expected a chuckle or maybe a smile, but Cait merely looked at him somberly. “Were there a lot of women, Win?”

Surprised by the question, his amusement bled away. He shrugged and looked past her. “A few.”

“Why didn’t you get hitched to one of them?” There was only curiosity in her voice.

He forced a laugh. “One or two tried to harness me, but I’m not the marrying kind, Cait. I always wanted to follow the wind, see what lay down the next road.”

“Sounds more like a tumbleweed than a person.”

This time his amusement was genuine. “I suppose it does to someone who’s lived in one place most of her life. After my ma died, Pa just didn’t have the heart to settle down with another woman. The closest I had to a home was this place.”

She stepped back and he dropped his arms. She eyed him shrewdly. “So why’d you stay away for ten years?”

The fading light was his ally as he lied through his teeth. “After what I did to you, I figured your pa would be holding a shotgun next time I stopped by.”

“I never told him, and he never mentioned it so I figured he didn’t know. What about your pa? Didn’t he think it was strange that you wanted to leave so early that morning?”

“I got my drifting ways from Pa. He figured I just got a powerful itch to move on and followed.” The blatant lie burned like acid. It was his father who had insisted they leave immediately. He’d known what Win and Cait had been up to, and he hadn’t approved. Adam Taylor had been married to a half Indian woman for six years. He knew about folks’ narrowmindedness firsthand, and had informed his son that unless he wanted to make Cait’s life miserable, he’d leave her alone. There was no choice to be made. Win rode away.

“Did your pa know?”

When did she start reading my mind?

Cait’s pointblank questions gnawed at Win’s conscience. He’d never liked lying or people who did it, yet here he was spinning tales like some crazy old mountain man. “Why all the questions now, Cait? That was ten years ago.”

“We’ve danced around it ever since you got here. I’m getting tired of not knowing why you left the way you did.” She glared at him. “I have a right to know.”

“Why?” he asked, hoping to keep her offbalance enough that she would drop the questionandanswer.

She stared past him. “You took my virginity then rode off like it meant nothing.”

Although her reason made sense, Win knew she was hiding something from him. “What did it mean to you?” he asked quietly.

Cait hadn’t expected him to turn the question around on her, but she should have been prepared to give him an answer. She’d thought about Beulah’s words during the long afternoon after she met with the undertaker to discuss the funeral. She’d argued with herself while riding a circuitous route back to the ranch, delaying seeing Win for as long as possible.

Beulah had given her a choice, unlike her father, who’d taken it away when he’d made her promise not to kill the murdering stallion and to have Win break it. It would’ve been so easy without that promise. One wellplaced bullet and her father’s death would be avenged and Win wouldn’t have disrupted her life.

Isn’t that what she wished?

“Cait.” Win’s voice brought her out of her dark thoughts. “What did that night mean to you?” he repeated.

You were… only a girl, but you’re…a woman now. Don’t let… him get away again.

You… ccan do anything you…put your mind to.

I ain’t… gonna ask you to promise. Your decision. Your life.

Beulah’s last words echoed in Cait’s mind. How had she known Cait had crossed that fine line from love to hatred and back to love?

“It meant everything,” Cait whispered, her throat full and tight. “I loved you, Win. When we were children, you always understood me. I didn’t even have to speak and you knew. Why didn’t you understand that night?”

His Adam’s apple dove up and down, and his eyes glittered brightly. “I knew, Cait.”

Shock and dismay filled her and she stepped away, putting more space between them. “Then why?” The truth hit her and she nearly doubled over with pain. “You never loved me, did you?” Her voice quavered.

Win crossed the distance between them and grabbed her arms. “I did, Cait. I loved you. I love you.” His eyes widened and his breathing paused. “I never meant to hurt you. I only wanted to protect you.”

Frustration made Cait clench her hands at her sides. “Protect me from what? You were the one who hurt me!”

“I’m part Indian, Cait.”

She stared at him, even more confused. “So?”

“Pa said if you and I got married, you’d be treated like trash. I couldn’t do that to you.”

Her mind sifted through his confession and one fact jumped out. “Your pa made you leave that morning.”

Win jerked back. “He didn’t make me. He just explained to me why I couldn’t stay.”

Cait closed her eyes as she tried to readjust her thinking after having her memories clouded by ten years of hatred and pain. Maybe it was time to clear the air once and for all. Her heart hammered against her ribs as she struggled to find the words she needed. “After you left, I was hurt and angry, but I kept hoping you’d come back. One week led to a month, to two months. And that’s when I knew something was wrong.”

Win frowned. “What do you mean?”

She felt the heat of embarrassment, but said, “I’d…I’d missed my monthly.”

It took only a moment or two for him to grasp the meaning. “Cait,” he said hoarsely, “I didn’t even think about-”

“Neither did I until I was faced with it.” She took a moment to gather her composure. “Beulah found me crying by the pond where we used to go swimming. I couldn’t tell Pa and there was no one else I trusted enough to confess my shame.”

“I’m sor-”

Cait held up her hand. “Don’t. It’s in the past. Just let me get it out before I lose my nerve.” She forced a weak smile. “Beulah promised to help me. She also gave me a kick in the butt whenever I was feeling sorry for myself. She reminded me that I was carrying a child, the most precious gift a woman can receive.

“My trousers were starting to get tight and I was wondering how much longer I could hide my condition from Pa, when it happened.” She wrapped her arms around herself and began to pace. “It started with cramps in the morning and by the afternoon, I knew something was wrong. I’d started bleeding.”

Win’s face was silvery white in the moonlight coming through the open door. Cait turned away, unable to bear his agonized expression.

“I wasn’t thinking very clearly, but I knew I couldn’t let Pa see me that way. I rode over to Beulah’s. By the time I got there, I-” The remembered fear and helplessness made her voice break. “The saddle had blood all over it and I would’ve fallen off my horse if Beulah hadn’t helped me. I stayed at her place for a week until I was well enough to leave. We told Pa I was taking care of Beulah.”

“The baby?” Win asked in a hoarse whisper.

“I lost it,” she said bluntly. “Beulah told me there was nothing I could’ve done, but I still blamed myself. I kept thinking that maybe if I hadn’t ridden over to Beulah’s, the baby would’ve lived. Then Beulah told me that I’d never be able to bear a child again.” She hardly noticed the tear that rolled down her cheek. “That’s when I started to hate you. I blamed you for the loss of our baby, and I blamed you for turning me into something less than a woman, a person who could never marry and have a family. Everything was your fault.”