For everyone.
Everyone except herself, that is.
Chapter Twenty-four
It was raining the next morning as Molly set out for the bakeshop. She decided to walk anyway because she needed to inhale the fresh air, feel the thick, wet drops on her skin. She needed to remind herself that the life she was so excited about just two days prior was still there and waiting for her.
Truth be told, it had shaken her, the way Amalia and Joseph had stumbled upon them the night before. She’d planned on handling the situation with a delicate turn, introducing the concept of her and Jordan a little bit at a time, and now that opportunity was gone. Completely blown.
But something else had shifted also.
She’d seen the situation through their eyes and what she was doing with Jordan was a big deal. Was she exactly ready for that and everything that came with it? She nodded. She was. She knew she was, so why was she now sidestepping what was the best thing that had happened to her in a long time? She amended that. Maybe ever.
She was running again. And she hated herself for it.
Sunday mornings at Flour Child brought in pretty steady traffic. It was one of their better days of the week as far as foot traffic went. They’d sold several dozen trays of buttery croissants, and more muffins than she could remember. They were completely out of the orange raspberry coffee cake, but Louise was at work in the back trying to make up for it. If they could keep this kind of business going in the middle of the week as well, the shop would be in much better shape financially. It was those before-work runs to Starbucks that were the difference. In contrast, the leisurely Sunday morning pace invited family and friends to luxuriate a bit more, and that meant a trip to Flour Child.
She smiled widely as she handed Mrs. Dumphey her change, sliding the pink box across the counter to her. “Enjoy your breakfast.”
“Thanks, Molly. See you next weekend.” And there it was. Another indicator. She blew out a breath. In just a few more days, her financial woes would at least be temporarily quelled and she could focus on revamping the shop. With the check from Grant, she could settle her bills and maybe even have enough left over for an espresso machine, a concept she’d been tossing around in her head for a little while now.
Quaint little bakeshop or not, she needed to keep up with the big boys, and that meant fancy coffee drinks in large cups. It was time to jump into the twenty-first century and win back some of those weekday customers.
“You’re lost in thought.”
She raised her gaze to find Jordan smiling back at her from across the cash register. And there was that crazy mixture of feelings again. Happiness to see her. There was always that. And the undeniable guilt that the happiness brought with it, stronger now, so much sharper after the events of the night before. She didn’t know quite how to reconcile the two.
“Sorry, just thinking through some things. What can I get for you?”
“Uh…” She surveyed the display case, perhaps caught off guard by the business like question. “Just coffee, I guess. I’m not really hungry.”
“Coming right up.” Jordan reached into her back pocket for cash. “Stop. You don’t pay for things here, remember?”
“Right.” She put the money away.
But Molly understood the gesture. Because somehow, nothing felt certain anymore. Norms that once flowed easily now felt shaky and suspect right along with everything else.
She’d known it wouldn’t be just be the two of them in some secret romance forever, and now reality was very much present and accounted for. The world at large now intruded upon what had been just theirs, and they had to find a way through it. They could do that, right? She wished she had more confidence.
She handed Jordan the coffee.
“Thanks. I know you’re working, but is there a chance we can talk for a few minutes? I can come back if now isn’t good.”
Molly tossed a glance over her shoulder. “Uh, let me just grab Louise to mind the counter.”
The sun broke through the clouds as they emerged from the bakeshop and naturally veered in the direction of the park. Jordan sipped her coffee as they walked. “I was worried about you last night when you left. You seemed, I don’t know, shaken up.”
Molly nodded, her eyes tracing the cracks in the sidewalk as they walked. “I don’t know how to explain what happened when your parents opened that door. It was like I had been working this very tricky puzzle, you know?” She looked up at Jordan. “And just as I had the pieces close to being where I wanted them, they were somehow tossed into the air and landed in a heap all around me.” She sighed. “I can’t believe I’m talking to you in analogies, but I want you to understand how it felt when they said those things. About us. When the people most important to me in the world accused us of—”
“You felt guilty. It made you question everything between us all over again.”
Molly nodded, once again in awe of how Jordan just understood. As always, she just got it.
Jordan didn’t look at her when she asked her next question. “And now? Are you still questioning now?”
They were at the entrance to the park when Molly grabbed Jordan’s hand and tugged her to a stop. “I don’t want to be. When you’re here right in front of me like this, I feel like it’s you and me against the world and we can do this. But—” Her eyes filled with tears and she turned away. “There’s a lot to sort through.”
Jordan’s gaze never wavered. There were very few times when she was unable to tell what Jordan was thinking, but this was definitely one of those times.
“Molly, that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.”
*
Some things in life were hard. But Jordan knew what she was about to do was for the best, even if it didn’t feel that way. Even if it felt like a horrible decision. And the only way she was going to get through it was to remind herself of that fact over and over again like the worst kind of broken record.
Seeing Molly in such distress the night before had been hard, but seeing that anguish still in her eyes today was the tipping point. Hell, she could barely look at Jordan. She was the cause of that pain and she wasn’t willing to be any longer. As outlandish as Summer could sometimes be, she did make another valid point out on the deck of the country club.
Molly deserved a fresh start.
And what she brought to the table was a minefield of a relationship. And she loved Molly too much to make her try and navigate it.
She ran the word over again in her mind.
Love.
Because she knew undeniably that she was in love with Molly, and those feelings changed the way she approached the situation. She could do for Molly what Molly couldn’t do for herself. Because Molly was too noble, too loyal to look out for her own needs. But Jordan could do that for her.
She turned to Molly, steadying herself against the big brown eyes that seemed to be searching hers. “It’s, uh, just that we both have a lot on our plates. Me with the start-up, you with the new distribution deal. It’s not exactly an ideal scenario. The timing kind of sucks, you have to agree.”
Molly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and tilted her head ever so slightly in mystification. “Jordan, what are you saying right now?”
“It’s too much. Let’s be honest. You said it yourself. It’s harder than we thought it would be.”
Molly’s voice held a quiet intensity. “And? Say what you’re going to say, Jordan. Don’t leave it there.”
Jordan took a fortifying breath. “I think it’s best we end things here. I go back to Chicago. You pick up your life in Applewood. You know, maybe over time give Annaleigh a call.” Okay, that was hard to say.
Molly’s lips parted in surprise and she shook her head slightly. “Annaleigh ? Did you really just say that to me? This isn’t you talking.”
Jordan stared at the sky and pushed on. “Except it is. I care about you, Molly, and that will never change, but we’re probably heading in different directions in the long run. Surely you feel that too.”
“Don’t you dare tell me what I feel.” There was fire in her eyes now. “Why are you doing this? Because of your parents?”
“That’s part of it. But I’m not exactly good at the whole tied down thing. I never have been.” A lie. She’d give up everything she had for that kind of life with Molly. If only it were the right thing for Molly too.
“Tied down? Wow.” The blow registered on Molly’s face, but there was something else there too. Defeat. And it just about killed Jordan. “I don’t know where this bravado is coming from, but at the same time I don’t have the energy to fight you on this, Jordan.” She raised one shoulder and let it drop. “I guess I’m fresh out of fight. If this is what you want, I guess I’ll see you around. Have a safe trip home.” She turned and headed off down the sidewalk.
And Jordan watched.
She watched Molly walk back out of her life and it hurt like nothing she could have imagined. “Molly?” she called, because she just had to.
She looked back over her shoulder. “Yeah?” That’s when Jordan saw the tears. The words caught in her throat until she finally managed them on her second attempt.
“Take care of yourself.”
Molly didn’t say anything. She nodded once and headed back down the sidewalk.
Once she was safely back at her parents’ house, Jordan packed her things. She slung her bag over her shoulder and found her mother in the living room reading a book.
She set the book down when she saw the bag. “What’s going on? Are you leaving?”
“I need to get back. I have a lot of work waiting for me.”
“Don’t go yet. I know we’re all on edge after the argument last night, but I’ve been looking forward to your visit all week. We don’t have to talk about last night if you don’t want to.”
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