“I need to apologize too. I shouldn’t have forced the Cassie issue. It was insensitive.” Jordan said.
“I shouldn’t have kicked you out.”
Jordan played with the grass. “No, you shouldn’t have. But you did what you needed at the time. I get that.”
It was the politically correct answer, but she needed more. She needed Jordan , and that meant total and complete honesty between them. It wasn’t going to be easy.
“Cassie and I didn’t have a perfect relationship. We were normal people who fought over normal things like her work schedule conflicting with our plans. Or my tendency to be overly sensitive and resistant to change. I hated that she gave in to your parents and their every whim. But she was mine and I was hers and we had a good life.”
Jordan looked at her, listening.
“And you’re right. She’s been gone four years now and she’s still a big part of my life. I don’t have the magic solution to make you okay with that. But I also don’t know how to just let go of who I am because I’ve discovered feelings for someone new. Does that mean this other part of me doesn’t exist anymore? That the first part of my life is null and void? And that leaves us in a difficult spot.”
Jordan nodded and stared at the field. Molly would have given anything to know what she was thinking. But there was more to say.
“I do know one thing. When I thought that something had happened to you yesterday, my world felt like it had been torn wide open. And while I flashed back to the time I lost Cassie, it was losing you that panicked me yesterday. Yesterday was about you. And if I could do it over again, I wouldn’t have left you at the clinic. I’d have been there for you.”
Jordan turned to her then, and threaded her fingers through Molly’s.
And she knew Jordan understood.
“Thank you for telling me that. I know it’s not easy.”
Molly nodded.
“You’re not alone though,” Jordan said. “I miss her too. I got so caught up with my life, my job. I didn’t take advantage of those last few years that she was here. Now, I feel like I threw away the last bit of time I had left with my best friend. And I hate myself for it and I don’t think I’ll ever stop.” Her eyes filled with tears and Molly’s heart broke at the sight.
Molly scooted in closer. “Hey, hey. Stop. You can’t think like that. If you carry that kind of guilt around, it will break you, Jordan. And you are too good a person for that.” She then did what she’d wanted to do since she sat down. She leaned over, cradled Jordan’s face in her hands, and looked her straight in the eye.
Jordan nodded silently as tears streamed down her face. With her thumbs, Molly brushed them away before wrapping her arms around Jordan from the side and holding on, her chin nestled on Jordan’s shoulder. They sat there in silence for a long time as Jordan regained her composure.
Finally, Molly broke the silence. “Have you noticed the number eight popping up an extra lot?”
“Cassie’s stupid Magic Eight Ball. I say that now, but I was so jealous of that thing.” Despite the emotion, there was a tiny grin on Jordan’s face at the memory.
“I remember. Well, I think eights are her way of checking in on us. Saying hey.”
Jordan nodded. “Yeah. Maybe it’s selective perception, but I have noticed it.”
“See? She’s still with you, Jordan.”
“Maybe you’re right.” She wiped the rest of her tears away as they watched the edge of the pink sky slip away. “I’m not generally a crier.”
“I know. We’ve met, remember?”
“Right. That whole known-you-all-my-life thing.”
“In surprising news, there seems to be lots more to discover. I like that.”
Jordan turned her face to Molly’s. “Me too. I like discovering you.” Her voice carried sincerity, and Molly found her incredibly attractive in this moment. Jordan’s eyes dipped to her mouth, and she felt her stomach do that flutter that Jordan often set in motion.
“We should probably kiss or something. You know, to make up officially.”
Jordan moved in slowly. “Yeah? I do think it’s kind of a rule.”
“Can’t be breaking rules,” Molly murmured before she descended on Jordan’s mouth. And there was no arguing that it was a pretty awesome kiss. She sank into it, feeling it in her center and cascading downward, that wonderful flood of feeling Jordan always left her with. She moved closer, her hands running up the back of Jordan’s neck, into her hair. Jordan’s hands held her waist and pulled her gently onto her lap, where the wonderful, socks knocking kissing continued. They were alone under the great big sky, and though she didn’t have answers to the important questions, Molly knew the connection between them was more than enough in this moment.
Before the spark between them caught fire right there on the soccer field, Molly made a point to slow their pace before pulling her mouth away entirely. It had been one hell of a good make out session and she was breathless as a result.
She turned in Jordan’s arms and nestled her back against her, facing the soccer field. Jordan held her snugly from behind. “So all in all, it was a pretty good first date, right?” Jordan asked.
Molly laughed. “Well, yeah. I mean, objectively. In fact, I don’t know how we’re going to top it.”
“I could kick you out next time. It could be our thing.”
“I like it. Creative.”
“I have many more ideas we could test out.” Jordan placed a kiss just below her earlobe, sending a shiver right through her.
She covered Jordan’s arms with hers and hugged them to her. “I’m almost afraid to ask, but do you have to leave tonight?”
“I do.”
The wind fell from her sails a bit. It wasn’t great news. “I was hoping you’d decided to put it off. Stick around a little. Soak up small town life.”
“Trust me, I wish I could. And right about now, I’d give anything to stay right here and explore small town life with you , but George scheduled a meeting with Emory Owen tomorrow morning, the potential investor I was telling you about. I’ve put my life on hold these past few weeks. I’m afraid if I don’t take this leap now, I’ll miss my chance.”
It made sense. “Then you should go.”
“I’ll come back. Or you can come to Chicago. You may like Chicago.”
Molly turned in Jordan’s arms and wrapped her arms around her neck. “I can’t wait to come to Chicago.”
“You know.” Jordan stared skyward. “I don’t actually have to hit the road for an hour or two.”
“Whoa. That’s a lot of time,” Molly said seriously.
“A proverbial lifetime.”
“Suggestions?”
“Xbox Live?”
Molly laughed. “Could be fun. I’m pretty good.”
Jordan held up a hand. “Wait. Something has occurred to me. Technically, this isn’t our first date anymore. We’re past the first date mark which opens up…other exciting options.”
Molly grinned mischievously and kissed Jordan. “Do you want to drive or should I?”
*
It was one thirty-three in the morning when Jordan finally acknowledged the clock. She’d thus far pretended it didn’t exist and let herself get lost in Molly. The warm feel of her skin, the amazing scent of her shampoo, it was right where she wanted to be.
They’d lost their clothes fairly quickly after arriving back at Molly’s house and spent the evening in tantalizing exploration of each other. What began hot and fast had ended slow and sensual in just about the best mixture she could have imagined.
But it hadn’t ended there. They’d talked for a long time afterward, which made it that much better. And while it was true that they’d avoided the difficult topics, Jordan’s family, their future together, and Cassie, they’d found plenty of other interesting subjects to cover.
Molly looked down at Jordan, her head propped up on her hand as she traced lazy circles across the plane of her stomach. “So if you were stranded on a desert island, what would you do with your time?”
“Perfect the great American cartwheel. No question. You?”
“Wow. You didn’t even have to think about that one. Um, I might try the cartwheel thing for a while, but I’d probably spend time creating recipes from the naturally occurring foods there.”
“Well, then I win.”
Molly’s mouth fell open in equal parts shock and offense. “How do you figure? My thing is practical and serves a purpose. Your cartwheel, while festive, won’t keep you alive.”
“But think how impressed they’ll be when they find me. They’ll make me mayor of cartwheels. They’ll give me the key to Cartwheel City. You can visit.”
Molly shook her head in bewilderment and rolled on top, beginning to tickle Jordan mercilessly in a move that had her squirming and laughing to escape the assault. But in good news, Jordan was stronger and eventually won out, reversing their positions. She captured Molly’s wrists and held her down while she now wiggled and laughed beneath.
“Say I’m the mayor of Cartwheel City.”
Molly’s eyes danced. “You are so eccentric, it’s scary.”
“I’m charming. Say it.”
She softened. “You, incredibly beautiful person, are the mayor of Cartwheel City.”
She released Molly’s wrists and rolled to her side. “Aww. I like the way you said it. It was really nice.”
Molly slid against her in a move that had her breath hitching. She lifted Jordan’s chin with one finger and met her gaze softly. “I can be nice sometimes.”
“I love it when you’re nice.” And then there was her mouth. God, that mouth. She kissed it leisurely until finally, Molly curled into Jordan like she belonged there. And it felt like she did.
Jordan fought sleep, wanting to savor each moment until she had to get on the road. Technically, she could stay the night and drive in the early morning hours to still make her meeting, but she was practical minded enough to know she wouldn’t be at her best then. But as they lay with their limbs tangled, Molly’s face tucked into her neck, she seriously considered blowing off the whole meeting altogether. It was worth it. This.
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