But I’m not keeping Ryke at gunpoint. If he wants to leave, I’d let him. And I guess I’d have to find someone to replace him. I’m not even sure that’s possible though. Maybe in my heart, I just know that I only want Ryke Meadows.

“Let’s eat,” Connor says. “The eggs are going to get cold.”

We all wait for one of the brothers to make a move first. They have the power to reignite the argument or dissolve it.

Lo opens his mouth, needing the last word. “I didn’t accept you into my life so you could bang my girlfriend’s little sister. Don’t make me regret letting you in.”

That one stung. I felt it like a sharp kick.

Lo walks away, disappearing inside, and Ryke doesn’t wait for me. He goes in right after him. Connor is next, leaving me alone with my sisters.

“Well,” I say to them, “there are always fireworks at my parties, aren’t there?”

“Do you need a hug?” Rose asks me. “Because if you do, Lily can give you one.”

Lily looks at Rose like really?

“You give better hugs than I do. I know my weaknesses.” Rose raises her chin at me. “But really, are you okay?”

I shrug. “Yeah.” They think I have this massive crush on Ryke, and while I do like him, I understand more than anyone what we can and cannot do. I’ve accepted that reality for so long that the fantasy is always us being together.

I skip towards them and wrap my arms around their shoulders. “Thank you for the decorations, by the way. They’re beautiful.”

They both smile when I do.

That lights up any black spots that dotted my heart. But it’s not enough to take away the panic that I’ll feel come nighttime. Sometimes I wish it could be daylight forever. I wish that I could be with these five people and never have to face the world alone.

But Paris is my test.

I want to pass, but a part of me wonders if it’s even possible to be that fearless girl again. Maybe too much has changed to go back.

< 7 >

DAISY CALLOWAY

I wash the dishes after dinner, offering since Connor and Lo cooked. Everyone just acted like nothing happened in the garage, which was as expected. This wasn’t the first time I’ve been too close to Ryke in front of them.

It’s an exhausting fight and one that’s strangely become predictable.

Ryke enters the kitchen, everyone else in the living room. I look up, expecting another body passing through the archway. “They know why I’m here,” he says off my lingering gaze.

I frown. “You’re going to help me wash dishes?”

He grabs a bowl from the cupboard. “No. We all watched you push your fucking eggs around for thirty minutes.” He picks out granola cereal from another cabinet, his favorite brand. I’m sure he left a box here after early morning runs at Lo’s house.

“I ate the fruit,” I tell him. Fashion Week is coming up. I want to eat more than anyone. I just have a lot of self-control.

He opens the fridge for the milk. “Fucking fantastic,” he says to me. “Now I’m really at ease.”

“I also tried the bacon.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Okay, I didn’t eat the bacon, but I wanted to.” I put the last plate into the dishwasher and then climb up on the counter. He makes the cereal beside me.

“You know what I fucking learned today?” he says, his features really dark. “Rose just told Connor, my brother, and me that you have irregular periods because of your weight.”

Oh God. I groan. “She did not tell you guys that.” Sometimes Rose being overly open is a bad thing. When it comes to her private life, she’s a mouse. Or at least, she used to be.

“Yeah, she fucking did.”

I didn’t want her to share that info with anyone but Lily and maybe Poppy, our oldest sis. “It’s only like that when I—”

“Starve yourself,” he deadpans. Then he shakes his head. “You can’t eat, you can’t sleep…”

I smile wide at his words because I instantly recall a quote from a movie. I can’t help it. I recite the lines, “It's got to be that can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of stuff.” Then I pause, waiting for his ah-ha moment. He just looks confused. “It Takes Two.” It doesn’t ring a bell for him. “A Mary Kate and Ashley movie. They were describing love.”

His eyebrows rise. “Funny. But love isn’t causing you these problems.”

“How do you know?” I ask.

He extends his arms. “I’m sorry, where are all the guys you’ve been dating while I’ve been sleeping in your fucking bed?”

“I could be in love with you.” I throw out this line, wondering if he’ll reel me in, but he just gives me a hard stare.

“Are you?” he taunts back, not stepping down from this.

He puts me on the defensive. I want to say yes. But am I in love with Ryke? How do I know? “I’m not sure.”

“Well, be damn fucking sure about this,” Ryke says, “any love that I fucking give will never hurt a woman.” He passes the bowl to me, cold in my hands. “Eat your cereal.”

Seriousness blankets the kitchen once more. “You heard my mom this morning.” She bruised my hip she pinched my skin so hard.

“Yeah.” His eyebrows rise. “Fuck your mom.”

“Hey,” I snap.

“Hey what? She’s nothing but cruel to Lily. She fights with Rose constantly. And she treats you like you’re a little fucking doll she likes to dress up and show off. It drives me fucking nuts watching you do things you hate just to please other people.”

I’m not a fan of modeling, not when I have to stand still for so long. I just get restless. So I can’t argue against his point. “It’s different when peoples’ careers are on the line. Fashion designers and agents are counting on me. If I can’t fit into the clothes, then I’m not just disappointing myself but I’m hurting them.”

I search his eyes, but all I see is that familiar stone that Lily talks about. She says his brother is ice. All sharp. But Ryke, he’s like the rocks he climbs—just hard.

“Don’t be a fucking mannequin.”

“I’m not.”

“Really? Because I see a girl who has another person’s thoughts, another person’s desires and dreams.”

“I think that’s a puppet.”

“Don’t be a fucking puppet then.”

My eyes fall to the cereal. I’ve heard him speak with this conviction before, but this time, it barrels into me like the biggest truth of all. “Maybe after Fashion Week, I’ll tell her how I feel again.” Maybe I can finally stand up to my mom. “Why are you so passionate about this anyway?” I ask, expecting him to say something like because I care about you.

Instead he says, “I’ve been there with my own mother. It’s not fucking fun.”

He hardly talks about Sara Hale, mostly because of what happened a couple years ago. Mostly because she changed all of our lives. And I’m not sure it was all for the better.

“Eat your fucking cereal,” he says roughly.

I do. Four spoonfuls later, Ryke looks pleased. I like when he’s satisfied. I like when I do right by all people, but it’s just hard when my mom stands at one end and my sisters, Ryke, Connor and Lo stand at the other.

They outnumber her, but my mom raised me. Isn’t that a trump card?

He watches me eat, making sure that I’m not fibbing. “This cereal sucks,” I tell him on the tenth bite.

“It’s healthy, but if you want chocolate, there’s ice cream in the freezer.”

I practically moan. “Don’t tempt me.”

He almost smiles. “After Fashion Week, you promise you’ll talk to her?”

I nod. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Don’t yeah me twice,” he retorts.

“Why, because it’s redundant?”

He leans close, his arms on either side of the counter, on either side of me. “Because it sounds fake, sweetheart.”

“So if I moan twice—”

He covers my mouth with his large hand, enveloping my cheeks and jaw. “Don’t go there, not tonight.”

I do ride that line a little too much. We tempt and tease each other with knowledge that nothing more can happen. It’s our dynamic.

I finish off most of the cereal, leaving the soggy clumps of granola floating in the milk. “I’m sorry about the garage. I pushed you too far.” I set down the bowl and hop off the counter. He’s right there, not moving from this spot. His hands still on the counter.

I’m closer to him than before.

“No you didn’t,” he says. “If I fucking wanted to be with you like that, I would have by now. You’ve been eighteen for six months.”

This shouldn’t hurt, but his words knot my stomach, the granola rising to my throat. I swallow it back down. I think wanting is a little different than doing. I thought he wanted to like me, but he knew he couldn’t. But that’s not right. He’s never really expressed any attraction towards me. We flirt sometimes, but he’s never gotten hard or aroused by me.

At least not that I’ve seen.

I want to test it.

I shouldn’t, but I’m curious. I don’t know how else to see if he shares the same attraction. He doesn’t show it in his eyes the way I do.

He’s close enough that all I have to do is wrap my arms around his chest for a hug. He’s my wolf, and I seriously wonder if he’ll bite me today. I don’t think twice. I hug him, and his body goes rigid. I look up, neither of us retracting.

“Daisy…”

My long legs touch his strong ones. My hip bones press into his pelvis, a little shorter than him since he’s six-three to my five-eleven. I become keenly aware of his flexed muscles and dark eyes that set on me. It’s an R-rated hug, if there can be one. And yet, he’s not hard. He’s just tense, like he’s waiting for me to draw away.