“That was sweet of her,” Hugues commented to Jennifer after his daughter left, thinking of how beautiful the actress was and how kind to his daughter.
“It was only fair,” Jennifer said. “That was quite a piece of jewelry she almost lost, even if it was insured.” And she was happy too that Heloise had gotten such pretty gifts.
“I have to do something about her going to all the weddings,” Hugues commented with a worried look. “One of these days someone will complain.”
“I think she’s fine,” his assistant reassured him. “She’s very well behaved. She always dresses appropriately. And she’s awfully cute.” He didn’t disagree.
Miriam finally contacted Hugues at the last minute to set up Heloise’s trip to London for Christmas. Heloise had been worried that her mother wouldn’t call, but at last she did. She took the doll with her when Hugues put her on a plane to London the day before Christmas Eve. It was the first time she would be spending Christmas with her mother since she left four years before.
Hugues was nervous about her going, but he thought he should at least try to keep her mother in her life. She only had one mother, even if Miriam wasn’t attentive to her. He hated it when Miriam upset or disappointed their daughter. She was thoughtless and selfish more than she was intentionally cruel. Heloise was going to be there for two weeks if all went well, and he hoped it would.
He hadn’t laid eyes on his ex-wife since the divorce and didn’t want to. In all fairness, she had demanded no money from him since she was still making a lot of money from modeling then, and she had married Greg almost immediately after the divorce. And she hadn’t wanted custody of Heloise even then. All she wanted was Greg. She had been obsessed with him, and from what Hugues saw in the press, if it could be relied on, she still was. And now she had two children with him.
Poor Heloise had been abandoned by her mother and left out. And no matter what Hugues did or said to put a balm on it, inevitably it was still a wound for the child. But selfishly, in some ways, he knew it was easier for him to have Heloise to himself. Legally he had sole custody, and in reality it was as though she had no mother at all, except for the pain in Heloise’s eyes when she talked about her, which cut through her father’s heart like a knife every time he saw it.
When the plane landed in London, their driver was waiting for Heloise with a Bentley. He took charge of Heloise’s luggage and chatted with her on the way to their house in Holland Park. Heloise had slept on the plane, and she was holding her doll on the ride to the house. It gave her comfort and made her feel less scared.
The driver walked her up the front steps, and a butler let them in, and he smiled as soon as he saw her and walked her upstairs to a sunny sitting room where Miriam was nursing her infant son. Her eighteen-month-old daughter was careening wildly through a sea of toys.
Heloise hadn’t seen her mother in a year but was used to her new look from pictures in magazines. Miriam was in People magazine all the time, and Heloise kept them all. Since leaving Hugues, she had dyed her hair white blond and cut it short. She had a row of diamonds in pierces up her ears, and she had tattoos on both arms. She was wearing a T-shirt and tight black leather jeans. She held an arm out to Heloise as she nursed the baby, whom Heloise had not seen before. She had met her half-sister Arielle the year before, and she squealed with delight when she saw Heloise’s doll.
“What a pretty doll.” Miriam smiled at her as though she were someone else’s child.
“Eva Adams gave her to me. I found her diamond bracelet that she’d lost in some towels,” Heloise explained almost shyly. Her mother became more of a stranger to her every time they met. Miriam had replaced her with two babies by a man she loved. Heloise was the reminder of a life and man she wanted to forget. And Heloise had no mother figure to replace her with, except the people who worked at the hotel. The only real parent she had now was her father. And she missed having a mom to cuddle up with, even though she loved her father.
Miriam leaned over and kissed her then, over the baby’s head. He looked up at Heloise with interest, and then went back to nursing. He was a chubby, happy-looking baby. His older sister Arielle climbed into her mother’s lap then, cuddling her mother and brother. There was no room for Heloise in her mother’s arms, or her life. And a few minutes later Greg walked in and looked surprised to see Heloise as he glanced at his wife.
“I forgot you were coming,” he said to Heloise in a heavy cockney accent. He had far more tattoos than Miriam and “sleeves” of them on both arms, and he was wearing jeans and a T-shirt and black cow-boy boots. They were completely different from anyone in Heloise’s world, certainly her father, although she occasionally saw rock stars at the hotel. But she couldn’t even imagine her mother with her father now. She had no memory of the time when they’d been married, and they were totally different from each other. Miriam looked almost identical to Greg and in total harmony with him.
Greg was pleasant to Heloise, although she never felt totally at ease with him. He smoked heavily, used bad language, and had a drink in his hand most of the time. Hugues had warned Miriam that he didn’t want any drugs around Heloise while she was with them, and she promised that there wouldn’t be, although Greg usually smoked dope openly at home. She asked him not to during Heloise’s visit, and he said he’d try to remember, although he had a joint in his hand most of the time.
They celebrated Christmas Eve together the next night, and her mother gave her a black leather jacket that was too big and a black Chanel watch with diamonds on the face that was unsuitable for a child her age and showed how little she knew her. Even a stranger like Eva Adams had chosen better gifts for her. Greg gave her a small guitar that she didn’t know how to play, and they went to visit his parents in Wimbledon on Christmas Day.
And after that Heloise hardly saw them. Greg was recording, and Miriam sat in on the sessions with him and took the baby with her so she could nurse him, and they left Heloise at home with the nanny and Arielle. And after recording Greg and Miriam went out with his band almost every night. She made no effort to take Heloise anywhere, and when Hugues called to see how she was, Heloise said politely that she was having a nice time. She didn’t know what else to say and didn’t want to be disloyal to the mother she hardly ever saw and was afraid to lose entirely.
So she spent most of her time playing with Arielle, and with baby Joey when he was home. And the nanny was pleasant to her. She took Heloise to Harrods to shop for some clothes, and to Hyde Park, and to the stables of Buckingham Palace and the changing of the guard.
Heloise spent most of the week at the house, wishing she were home. She felt out of place and as though she were a guest and not part of the family. They made no effort to make her feel included, and sometimes they forgot that she was there, until the nanny reminded them. And on New Year’s Day Heloise got in an argument with her mother, who was telling Greg how much she had hated living at the hotel, and what a bore it was, and even more so during the endless two years before that when Hugues had been renovating it, and what a drag it was, and so was Hugues.
“It’s not a drag, and Papa isn’t either,” Heloise shouted unexpectedly, as Miriam stared at her in surprise. She was normally so docile that Heloise even surprised herself with her own vehemence. “The hotel is beautiful, and it’s even prettier now, and Papa does a wonderful job,” she hotly defended it, and her father. He worked so hard to make everything perfect, and Heloise thought it was. It was her home, and she hated Miriam criticizing it to Greg, and even more so her father.
“I just didn’t like living there,” Miriam explained. “All those people around all the time, and your father was always too busy to spend time with me. Not like Greg,” she said.
Tears sprang to Heloise’s eyes. She hated hearing her father criticized and compared to Greg. It had been a hard week for her, feeling like a stranger in their house and lives, with two babies who had taken her place in her mother’s heart. Miriam made no secret of it, and it was obvious to everyone, including Heloise. The butler and nanny had talked about it quietly, that Heloise was always ignored or left out, but Greg and Miriam didn’t seem to know or care. The servants all felt sorry for the little girl, and they thought she was a genuinely nice kid. She told them all kinds of funny stories about her father’s hotel.
“I love living at the hotel,” Heloise said to her mother, in response to what she’d said to Greg. “Everyone is really nice to me, and all kinds of important people stay at the hotel. Like Eva Adams, and other movie stars and senators, and the president even stayed there once. And the president of France.” She wanted to impress them, but she knew she couldn’t. Nothing she or her father did mattered to them. They were only interested in each other, their babies and themselves.
She ran to her room in tears after that, and the nanny came to console her and brought her hot chocolate to make her feel better. Heloise told her about the English high tea they served at the hotel, and the nanny said it sounded wonderful to her, and that she was sure the hotel was beautiful. She felt sorry for the little girl.
Heloise had been there for ten days when Hugues called her again. Although he missed her fiercely, he had tried to refrain from calling so he didn’t interfere, but he hated the forlorn way that Heloise sounded when she came to the phone. He asked if she was having fun, and she burst into tears and said she wanted to come home. She was lonely in her mother’s house. He promised to work it out with her mother, and called Miriam that night. She said she thought it was a good idea for Heloise to leave too, she said she really didn’t have time to spend with her, since Greg was recording his new album and she wanted to be with him. Hugues said politely that he was sure that Heloise would understand, and she needed to get ready for school. She didn’t, and it was a weak excuse, but Miriam rapidly agreed and promised to put Heloise on a flight to New York the next day.
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