Leanne Banks - Hot Stuff

“That would be great! Are you sure you don’t mind?”

Kellen smiled at her. “Don’t worry about it. I like dogs. Although I might not be making the offer if you had a Yorkshire terrier named Poopsie, dressed in a pink sweater.”

If I had a Yorkshire terrier I could manage this by myself, Cate thought.

“I stopped at the Barks-A-Lot pet store on Tremont and got some dog treats,” Kellen said when Cate opened the door to him. “You want to hand them out sparingly. And I got you a book on basic commands. He’s obviously been through obedience school. You should work with him a couple times a day to reinforce what he’s learned.”

“How do you know so much about dogs?”

“I always had a dog when I was a kid. And I worked with a dog in my last job.”

“Which was?”

Kellen had a moment of hesitation. People always reacted differently when they found out. And he wasn’t sure he was ready for all of the questions that would follow. Still, he was increasingly attracted to Cate, and he didn’t want to screw things up by withholding any more information than was absolutely necessary.

“I was a cop,” Kellen said.

“Wow. So that whole thing about you looking like you could be a killer…”

“This isn’t a conversation I want to have at this moment,” Kellen said. “And for the record, cops very infrequently kill people.”

“Why did you change jobs?”

“It was too regimented. It turns out I don’t always play well with others.”

“And what is it that you do now?”

“Different things. Security sometimes.” Kellen clipped the leash onto Beast’s collar and handed the leash to Cate. “Let’s walk.”

“Were you a Boston cop?” Cate asked.

“No.”

“Where?”

“My turn for a question,” Kellen said. “How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

“Okay,” Cate said. “I get the message. Let’s walk.”

Julie followed Cate into Cate’s bedroom. “I saw him from my window,” Julie said. “I saw you all go out with Beast, and I watched the three of you walk across to the park and walk down the block. And I saw you come back. And I rushed right up as soon as I saw Mr. Tall, Dark, and Yummy leave. Honey, he’s delicious. Who is he? How long have you known him? Is he good in bed? He looks like he’d be amazing in bed.”

“He’s just a bar customer who took pity on me in the park when I couldn’t get Beast to go home. I don’t know much about him.”

“I think you need to take him out for a test drive.”

“I think I need to walk away and not look back. There’s something about him that makes my radar hum. He’s secretive. And he has a way of smiling with his mouth but thinking with his eyes. And he’s much too good looking.”

“Sweetie, there’s no such thing as too good looking.”

Beast rounded a corner and spied Julie. His ears went up and his eyes got bright.

“Uh-oh,” Julie said. “Your dawg is gonna knock me down again.”

Cate jumped in front of Beast and gave him a hand signal. “Sit!”

Beast sat and thumped his tail with happiness.

“Look at that,” Julie said. “Bless his heart, he’s all proud of hisself.”

Cate gave Beast a dog treat. “Tall, Dark, and Yummy taught me how to do this. He worked with a dog when he was a cop.”

“Tall, Dark, and Yummy was a cop? Oh, that’s good news and bad news. The good news is there’s nothing like a man in uniform, especially if he’s carrying a gun. And the bad news is the statistics on cop fidelity aren’t encouragin’. I know all about it because I used to date some of the guys who worked at the correctional facility in my town. And for a spell I dated Amos Cole, who was a sheriff’s deputy. Amos sure could kiss. Trouble was he kissed everybody. I haven’t seen him in a while, but my mom told me Amos had a premature bout of gingivitis and most of his teeth fell out of his head. Personally I think it might have had something to do with all that kissing. Amos kissed people in places I don’t even want to think about. He was a kissin’ fool. I heard Amos once Frenched Maynard Bailey’s big ol’ breeder sow, but that was never confirmed.”

The doorbell chimed and Cate opened the door to Sharon.

“I came as soon as I could,” Sharon said. “Whoa! Is this the dog?”

Beast looked up at Sharon and smiled.

“His name is Beast,” Julie said. “And he’s trained. He’s probably smarter than half the people in my hometown. A lot of them we can’t get trained at all.”

Sharon tentatively reached out and touched Beast on the head. Beast gave a happy bark, put his two front feet on Sharon’s chest, and straddled her when they both went down to the ground.

“See that,” Julie said. “He did that to me too. He’s probably trained to do that.”

Beast was nose to nose on top of Sharon.

“Help,” Sharon whispered.

Cate pulled Beast off and told him to sit.

“Sorry,” Cate said, helping Sharon to her feet. “He’s just a puppy.”

“Yeah,” Sharon said. “I could tell by the way he only weighs 120 pounds.”

“Cate knows that because Mr. Tall, Dark, and Yummy told her,” Julie said. “Mr. Yummy knows everything. And he used to be a cop, but maybe we shouldn’t hold that against him until we know for sure how he stacks up on the fidelity issue.”

“Tall, Dark, and Yummy?” Sharon asked.

“It’s no big thing,” Cate said. “He’s a customer who saw me in the park and offered to help with Beast.”

“I saw him out the window,” Julie said, “and I bet you a dollar it’s a big thing, if you know what I mean.”

“Why don’t I know about this guy?” Sharon asked. “Why does Julie know about him?”

“Julie knows about him because she’s nosy and hangs out her window all day,” Cate said.

“That’s true,” Julie said. “I’m observin’ humanity. I’m even observin’ at night when I’m workin’ on the trolley. I think people are real interestin’. And I’m good at observin’ things. Like, I can tell somethin’ went right for you today. You got a glow, and you didn’t even cuss at Beast when he knocked you down.”

“I sold a house today,” Sharon said. “Sealed the deal a half hour ago.”

“Woohoo!” Julie said. “That is so fabuloso. We should all go out and celebrate.”

“I have to work,” Cate said.

“Oh yeah, I forgot,” Julie said. “Me too.”

“We can celebrate after work,” Cate said. “I’ll make a cake, and we can meet here at 11:30.”

“Perfect,” Sharon said. “I’ll bring a bottle of champagne.”

“I haven’t got anything to bring,” Julie said.

“That’s okay,” Cate said. “You can bring yourself. We know you haven’t got any money.”

“I know you’re going to be on your best behavior when I’m at work,” Cate said to Beast, fondling his ear. “And I know your feelings are probably a little hurt because I’m locking you in Marty’s bathroom. But here’s the thing… this isn’t my furniture. And even though Marty is the one who bought you, I feel responsible for keeping his condo nice when he’s gone. There’s lots of room in here for you. And I gave you a bowl of water. And there’s a fluffy throw rug for you to nap on. And when I come home you can have some cake with Sharon and Julie and me.”

Beast looked around his space. White commode and sink of space-age design, direct from Japan. Large walk-in shower. Large soaking tub with stainless bath caddy. Acres of Bulgarian yellow limestone. Fluffy white rug from a specialty store on Newbury Street. Single exotic phallic-looking red flower in a dark Asian pottery bud vase sitting on the caramel-and-cream onyx counter. Large bowl of water.

Cate closed the bathroom door and let herself out of the condo. She rode the elevator to the ground level, walked out the front door, and stopped when she saw Patrick Pugg.

“Never fear. Pugg is here to walk you to work,” Pugg said to Cate. “Pugg will protect you from ruffians and persons of questionable stability.”

“At the risk of hurting your feelings, you’re the only person of questionable stability I see on this street.”

“That may be, but Pugg senses danger. Pugg is keenly intuitive.”

“Does Pugg know any details about the danger?”

“Not yet, but Pugg thinks it will come to him.”

Cate was walking fast to the bar, trying to get away from Pugg, and Pugg was scrambling to keep up with her.

“Let me know when you get the details,” Cate said. “In the meantime, we should stop meeting like this.”

“Is it your boyfriend? He’s jealous of Pugg, isn’t he? Pugg has encountered this problem before.”

“It’s not just my boyfriend. It’s us. It’s not going to happen.”

“Pugg has encountered this problem before, too, and Pugg has discovered over the years that sometimes he can wear a woman down and eventually have his way with her. Pugg is not averse to pity sex. Sometimes women even have sex with Pugg as a bribe to leave them alone.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“Yes, but effective. I don’t suppose you would consider…”

“No!”

“Pugg suspects you’ll feel differently next week.”

“Pugg is cruising for another knee in the groin.”

“Pugg likes your spunk, but he’d prefer not to get kneed in the groin again.”

Cate wrenched the door to Evian’s open and swished inside. “Go away,” she shouted to Pugg. “Go home! Harass some other woman.”

Cate went directly to the small back room reserved for employee lockers. She threw her purse into a locker and called her mother on her cell phone.

“Where did you find Pugg?” she asked her mother.

“I got new tires for the van, and he gave me a discount. He seemed like such a nice young man, I immediately thought of you.”

“He’s not nice! He’s a disaster. You have to stop fixing me up. I’ll find a man on my own. I’m just not ready yet.”

“Your brother has a banker who sounds wonderful.”