"When you're awake?"

Savard nodded, her throat constricting around the scream that had threatened to erupt since the first moment she'd realized what the plume of smoke high up in the sky meant.

"Renee?"

"Yes," Savard whispered. "And when I close my eyes."

"How much downtime have you had this week?"

"As much as anyone else," Savard said harshly.

"No one's been getting enough." Cam flashed on how she'd felt that morning when she hadn't known if Blair was hurt, or worse. The terrible fear. The aching helplessness. The soul-sapping powerlessness. She tried to imagine magnifying that a thousandfold or more and couldn't. "Both you and Stark need some downtime after she's released."

"No!" Savard sat up, the sheet falling away unnoticed. "There's work—"

"You're right. There is. A lot of it. Weeks of it, probably. And I need you both." Cam sat up and swung her legs over the bed. She'd removed her shirt and trousers and wore a thin sleeveless silk T-shirt and briefs. "You won't do me any good until you get your feet back under you. Where is your family?"

"Florida."

"Take Paula there."

"She won't go. Not now."

Cam laughed. "She'll go. And you need to see someone—a professional—to talk all of this over with."

"You know what will happen if wind of that gets into my jacket," Savard said bitterly. "My security clearance will disappear, and I'll end up holding down a desk in the middle of Kansas."

"Nothing is going into your file because no one's going to know about this except you and me. But I want it done, Renee. And you can consider that an order."

"A week. But I'll see someone."

Cam laughed again, impressed with Savard's toughness. "We'll start there."

*

"Have you eaten anything tonight?" Diane asked from the archway that separated the living room from the hall and her bedroom at the far end. Valerie stood at the open door to the balcony with her back to the room, a half-empty wineglass in her hand. It was after midnight, as Diane had discovered much to her surprise when she awoke from an unintended slumber. She'd showered hastily and gone in search of Valerie, wondering if she would even still be there and overtaken by a wave of sadness at the thought that she might not be.

A single lamp burned in the far corner of the room, and a nearly empty bottle of wine stood on the coffee table next to her own glass from earlier that day. "Valerie?"

Valerie turned with a weary smile. "No."

"What have you been doing?"

"Thinking, mostly." She finished her wine and crossed to the coffee table where she carefully deposited the empty glass. Diane, she noticed, had changed into a loose, scoop-necked blouse and wide-leg casual slacks. She was barefoot. And she was so beautiful Valerie's throat ached to look at her. She'd thought of her for hours—how she'd looked the first moment she'd seen her in the gallery, what they'd shared that week as they had mourned with the rest of the country, how Diane's strength and compassion had touched the place inside that she usually kept guarded against everyone. "Did you sleep?"

"I did. I can't imagine how."

"Sooner or later the stress catches up to you."

"Does it work that way with you? Does anything ever catch up to you?"

"Sometimes," Valerie said softly.

"What things?"

Valerie shook her head. "Things I chose twenty years ago when I said yes to a man who told me I had something special to offer my country."

Diane walked slowly forward, her eyes on Valerie's. "What things, Valerie?"

Valerie was unable to look away from Diane's face. Her mouth was so tender, her eyes so bruised. God. I've hurt her. "I'm so sorry."

Diane made an impatient gesture. "What things can't you get away from?"

"Loneliness," Valerie said softly.

"What do you do then?"

Valerie lifted both hands and let them fall, her chest constricting around the sadness and desire that warred within her. She stepped back, knowing that she would keep on hurting her, as she had hurt every woman in her life. She couldn't bear to have this woman's pain on her conscience. "I wait for it to pass. Go back to bed, Diane."

"Did making love with Cam make it better?"

"Don't. Please." Valerie took another step, and her legs bumped into the coffee table. Diane was so close to her now, within arm's distance, and she struggled not to run. She smelled something sweet and tangy, a lotion that Diane had put on after her shower. She imagined how smooth her skin would feel, how soft her kisses. She closed her eyes. "Please."

"Answer me. You owe me that much."

"It wasn't like that," Valerie said desperately.

"Oh, I know you were working," Diane said with just a trace of anger, "but being with her or...others...couldn't have left much room for feeling alone."

Valerie was tired. She was tired of holding herself back, tired of burying her needs so deeply that no one would ever have a hold on her. She'd let her guard down with Cam, and as hard as it had been, she was glad. Glad that she could still feel something for someone. And now, Diane was hammering once again at her defenses, and she was so tired of struggling to keep everyone out. She spoke without thinking. "There's nothing quite as lonely as making love to women who never touch you."

Diane gave a small start. "Are you saying...never?"

"It doesn't matter." Valerie shrugged impatiently. "That's the way I wanted it-—the way it has to be."

"It does matter." Diane reached out, her breasts brushing Valerie's, and lightly cupped Valerie's face between her palms. She smoothed both thumbs over Valerie's mouth. "You're trembling. I can feel you hurting."

"No, you're wrong." Valerie tried to pull her head away, but Diane held her firm. "I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry."

"Why did you?" Diane leaned closer and followed with her lips the path her thumbs had traversed. Valerie moaned quietly as Diane slid her hands to the back of Valerie's neck, deepening the kiss with a gentle exploration of lips and tongue. Then she eased away and murmured against Valerie's mouth. "Why?"

"Because," Valerie said, her voice choked, "when I'm with you, I don't feel alone." She closed her eyes and lowered her forehead to Diane's shoulder as she wrapped both arms around her waist, giving in to the need to hold and be held. Just one minute. Just one minute to touch and be touched. She breathed in Diane's scent and rubbed her cheek lightly against the side of Diane's neck, finding her skin even softer than she had imagined. She tightened her hold and felt the supple strength contained within the lithe form. Marveling at the firm fullness of Diane's breasts, she moaned quietly as her own nipples tightened from the press of flesh on flesh. A tremor started in her legs and climbed into the core of her, and she knew she was falling. Falling from darkness into light, and she pushed away, afraid. "Diane. Go to bed."

Diane laughed shakily and cleaved more tightly to her. "One kiss. One simple kiss. One kiss, and I know I'll starve if I don't have you." She pressed a trembling hand to her heart. "In here, where I hunger."

"Oh God," Valerie whispered, taking Diane's mouth in one fierce motion. She was aware of Diane pulling her blouse from her slacks and felt hot fingers scale her spine. She circled her tongue inside Diane's mouth and groaned as Diane swept her palms around her body to lightly brush over her breasts and then whisper away. "Be sure. Please, be sure."

"I'm sure," Diane muttered, her lips moving along Valerie's throat, "that I'm not going to make love to you standing up out here." With effort, she stepped back and caught Valerie's hands in liers. "Come with me."

"Diane, I..."

"Shh." Diane tugged her toward the hallway. "Later. Later you can tell me everything. Now there's something I want to tell you."

Valerie followed, refusing to think beyond the moment, wanting these few minutes of forgiveness and forgetting. When they arrived by the side of Diane's bed and Valerie reached for the hem of Diane's blouse, Diane murmured no and brushed Valerie's hands away.

"I have this need," Diane whispered, her mouth close to Valerie's ear as she deftly unbuttoned the waistband of her slacks, "to touch you. Indulge me."

"Oh yes." Valerie swayed as a languorous heaviness settled in her stomach, and her limbs softened with the slow burn of desire. Lightly, she held Diane's hips, needing the contact as much as to steady herself. Diane's lips shivered over the rim of her ear, and sharp pinpoints of pleasure pricked her consciousness as teeth tugged at her earlobe. She shivered and her nipples ached as they rubbed against the inside of the silk cups that still contained them.

"Lift your arms, my beautiful one," Diane said, her voice husky and deep. Delicately, she slid Valerie's blouse and bra off in one motion, leaving her bare from the waist up. She pressed her thighs and lower body against Valerie's, her loins full and pulsing with arousal. She was determined to go slowly, but her body cried out for contact. She rolled her pelvis into the vee between Valerie's legs, tormenting them both. "Oh God, you feel so good."

With trembling hands, Diane caught the bottom of her own blouse and stripped it from her skin, dropping it mindlessly somewhere behind her. As her teeth closed on Valerie's lower lip, she tightened her arms around the slender body and rubbed her breasts over Valerie's. Their tight nipples chafed, and the beating between her thighs quickened, her clitoris tensing until she moaned.

Valerie edged a hand between them and spread her fingers over Diane's breast, squeezing gently. "I want you so much.. .so much."