Chapter Three

I washed our breakfast plates as Emma retreated to the bedroom to get dressed. I forced myself to scrub the plates in scalding hot water to keep myself from following her into that room. Fuck it. I sat the plate on the counter and made my way to the room. Her eyes met mine as the door squeaked open and she smiled. I couldn’t stop myself from raking my eyes over her body, but something troubled me. Why had she closed the door? I was losing my mind. I was beginning to doubt her feelings. Was she shy or scared?

“What?” Her smile faltered as she clung to the brush in her hand. I walked toward her, slowly, keeping my eyes locked on hers.

I reached out and ran my fingertips along the hard curve of her jaw.

“I don’t deserve you.” I searched her eyes for any fear but was met with a smile. She trusted me. It was a mistake on her part, but it made my chest swell with pride. Somehow, I will make this all right for her. Somehow, I will fix what I had done to her life, and hopefully she would still allow me to be in it. I slid my hand through her tangled wet hair and pulled her closer, ghosting my lips over hers. Her breath hitched, and she pushed her lips hard against mine. I normally would have punished her for such a bold act of defiance, but I needed it now—needed to know she wanted me as badly as I wanted her. Maybe she could then understand why I had to do the things I did. I groaned as I deepened our kiss, fisting my hand in her wet hair and holding her to me. Her body fell against mine. Her lips parted, granting me permission to take her.

I slid my free hand down her spine as her back bowed farther into me. I reached the waist of her jeans and forced myself to break from her spell. I rested my forehead against hers and took a deep, calming breath.

“I need to go. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She nodded in response, her eyes still closed. I ran the pad of my thumb over her plump lower lip, forcing myself not to take it in my mouth once more.

“I love you, Emma.” Her eyes opened and locked on to mine, searching for truth.

“I love you, William.” I can’t explain the effect her words had on me. My mouth found hers again, but I couldn’t force myself to be gentle. I gripped her ass as I kept her firmly against me, my cock hard and ready between us. Her mouth pulled free from mine, and we both panted.

“Do you have to leave now?” She asked as her eyes rose toward the ceiling. She wanted me to take her upstairs, to let me hurt her, because she knew how much I enjoyed it. That was even more reason for me to go. I couldn’t lose her after all we had been through.

“I have to do this now. I promise you, we have all the time in the world.” I leaned my forehead against hers, struggling for the strength to walk away from her. “I won’t be long.” She nodded in understanding, and I forced myself to pull away. I gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and left the bedroom before I gave up on everything just to touch her. I slid on my shoes and left the apartment as quickly as possible.

I couldn’t think straight anymore, and every ounce of control I once possessed was slipping away with every moment I spent with Emma. My world was crumbling and collapsing, but I couldn’t walk away. Don’t get me wrong, I had no regrets. When I thought back to the people who had stood in our way, there was no sympathy. But if any of my actions came back to hurt Emma, I couldn’t live with myself. I needed to keep her safe from the world. She was mine. But who was going to save her from me?

I got in my car and raced across town. I needed a voice of reason. I needed to be talked off a ledge. I made it to Stephen’s office in record time. I gave a nod to the receptionist who looked like she wanted to stop me from barging into his office, but something stopped her. I can add “scaring little old ladies” to the list of reasons Emma should run now. I pushed open the door, and Stephen froze mid-sentence. The young woman who sat across from his desk glanced up at me from behind her thick, black-framed glasses.

“Why don’t we discuss this later after you have run the numbers, Laura?”

The woman looked to Stephen and back to me, unsure if it was safe to leave us alone together. But slowly she rose from her chair and walked around me, keeping as much distance between her and me as possible. As soon as she exited, I closed the door behind me and locked it.

Stephen leaned back in his chair, his fingers steepled in front of his chest. “This couldn’t wait?” he asked and motioned to the seat that Laura had just vacated. I sat down, blowing out a long breath before clearing my throat.

“Things keep getting more complicated.” I shook my head. “I need your help.”

Stephen leaned forward, placing his arms on his desk.

“This isn’t the mob, Will. We can’t just kill anyone who gets in our way.” He half joked, but the look on my face made him realize this wasn’t a laughing matter, and his expression soon turned serious.

“I don’t want to kill anyone else. I want to make this shit right.” I ran a hand through my hair as I looked down at the floor.

“Emma.” He wasn’t asking. He knew everything was about Emma now. I couldn’t see anything else. I was becoming obsessed.

“I can’t lose her now. I love her.”

Stephen barked out a laugh, and I squeezed my fists, the skin of my knuckles stretching painfully.

“Will, I have known you forever. I know you better than anyone else does. I’m being a friend when I tell you this is heading down a road you have already been down.”

“She’s not Abby.” I said between clenched teeth.

“No, she’s not. But you are still you.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” I pushed the chair back roughly as I stood, leaning down over him. He didn’t flinch or pull away.

“Everyone you touch gets sucked into this force that you have. I am barely struggling to keep my head above water whenever you come around.”

“When I come around? You mean like the time I saved your ass? You mean when I did the fucking dirty work so you wouldn’t have to?”

“Lower your voice.” He leaned forward and talked just barely above a whisper. “I am forever grateful for what you have done, William. But it is time to take a step back and decide if this is all worth it. Is it worth the trail of blood that follows you for some piece of ass?”

I reached out, without thinking, and my fingers wrapped around Stephen’s throat, squeezing slightly.

“Don’t ever talk about her like that. I fucking love her.”

“You love yourself. You don’t know how to feel anything for anyone else outside of hate.” His voice broke as he struggled to take in a breath. I released him, shoving him back as I did so. He rubbed his neck as he looked me over.

“That’s not true.”

“Tell me what it is you love about her?”

I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I’m serious, William. I want to hear you say it.”

“Everything.” I threw my hands up.

“That’s not an answer.”

“It’s the only fucking answer I got.”

“Because you don’t know what love feels like. It’s selfish.” This time he did flinch when I took a step toward him, the threat clear on my face.

“She loves me.”

“Will.” His eyes met mine, sad and regretful.

“You don’t think she loves me? You don’t think I deserve to be loved?” I was raising my voice again, but I couldn’t stop myself. There was a knock at the door, and Stephen and I stared at each other for a long moment.

“We are fine. Just a lively discussion,” he called out with a laugh. I ran my hands through my hair as I tried to figure out where this all went wrong.

“I think she is infatuated. She looks up to you and has no idea how deep she has gotten, and she won’t until it is too late.”

“You think I’ll hurt her? You think she isn’t safe with me? All I want is for her to be safe.” I slammed my hand down on his desk.

“If all that were true, you would walk away.”

I straightened my back as I looked him over. “I can’t.”

His expression turned somber. “Poor Emma.” He shook his head. “It’s not love. It’s infatuation.” Stephen shook his head.

“She is different.”

“Yeah, she is different, William. You aren’t.”

“Are you going to fucking help me or not?”

“Fine,” He motioned with his hand for me to take my seat and laced his fingers together. “Who is the problem now?”

I took a seat, taking a minute to calm myself down before I tried to explain.

“Emma has an aunt who treats her like shit.”

“We all have family that sucks. Look at your father.”

I glared at him but kept my mood level.

“She is J from the club. The club.” I had his attention now. Stephen ran his hand down his jaw and laughed.

“You think this is funny?”

“No. I really don’t.” He grabbed an oversized manila envelope from his drawer and tossed it on the desk. I furrowed my brow as I took it and let the pictures slide on to the desk. Pictures of Abby scattered across the desk, and it took a moment for me to realize where she was. The house in the background was Emma’s.

My eyes met his before I continued to take in what I was seeing. Abby was thin, and her skin grey in the sunlight. J was leaving the house, locking the door behind her. The next picture was of Abby stopping her in the street.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” I felt the bile rising in my throat. I was too late. J knew who I was. She knew about Emma, and now she knew Abby. “It’s too fucking late.” The enormity of the situation washed over me. Emma was going to leave me. There was no stopping it now.