Elisabeth Naughton - Hold On To Me

He glanced around the room in a daze. Simone and Shannon were snuggled on the couch with their popcorn, watching some animated movie on the TV, the lights dimmed and the sound on low. Simone had her back turned his way and didn’t seem the least bit curious about what he was doing. His gaze flicked the other direction, to Ryan’s desk, where Ryan was leaning back against the mahogany surface and Kate was standing in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest, listening to whatever he’d been telling her.

They both stared at him as if his head might twist off and explode.

Good God. How long had he been standing there? Mitch rubbed a hand down his face and set the soda can back on the bar with a hand that was way more unsteady than he liked. “I’m fine.”

The look Kate sent him said she didn’t think he looked fine. She obviously thought he looked fucked. Which was exactly how he felt. “Why don’t you go take a shower and get cleaned up while Ryan fills me in on everything? By then, maybe Shannon will be asleep, and we can all decide what to do next.”

What to do next. Yeah. Like that was a simple decision.

Mitch nodded, barely registering his feet moving as he crossed the office toward Ryan’s fancy corporate bathroom. He didn’t have a clue what to do next. But one thing was certain: he needed to clear his head and think.

Because if he didn’t stop being ruled by his emotions, he wasn’t sure where he’d end up. Or who would be leading him.

“Hey, Counselor. How are you holding up?”

Simone looked up when Kate sank into the chair to her right. Mitch called her that too sometimes—counselor—and she’d always liked it, but right now all it did was make her feel like a fraud.

She lifted Shannon’s head from her lap to the couch and shifted closer to the short arm of the sectional so she and Kate could talk quietly. “I’m fine.”

“It’s okay not to be fine, you know, considering all this.”

“No. I’m fine. Really.”

Kate’s small smile said she didn’t believe her. “I wish you’d told me some of what was going on. I don’t know what I could have done to help, but I do know what it’s like not to have anyone to talk to. I would have been there for you.”

Simone didn’t want to think about how isolating her life had been because of all this. After she’d left New England, she’d accepted the fact she’d never have any close girlfriends again. Over the years, she’d made acquaintances, but she’d never let herself get attached to anyone. Not until recently.

She blinked back the tears threatening and leaned on the armrest of the sofa. “I’m sorry. I should have told you. It’s just…not something you can blurt out, you know?”

“I know.” Kate’s hand covered hers on the armrest. “And I’m not upset that you didn’t tell me. I understand.”

Simone frowned. “I wish others were as understanding.”

“Mitch is just…shell-shocked right now.”

Yeah, Simone knew all about ‘shell-shocked.’ But it was more than that. She’d seen the look in his eyes when his house—and life—had been destroyed, all because of her.

“He has every right to be upset with me.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s okay for him to be a jerk,” Kate countered.

Simone huffed a sound that was part laugh, part exasperation. “Maybe. But it doesn’t change the truth.”

“Just give him some time. He’ll get over it.”

Simone wasn’t so sure. And right now, she didn’t even know if she wanted him to get over it. She’d seen a side of him tonight she hadn’t known existed. And when she thought back to that earring stabbing into her back…

Her stomach rolled, and a sick feeling slid up her throat.

She closed her eyes tight, then opened them again, fighting back the nausea. “I can’t think about Mitch right now. I have too many other things to worry about. Shannon and I have to leave.”

“Simone—”

“No, don’t.” Simone held up a hand to stop her friend from protesting. This was going to hurt no matter how she did it, but it was better just to get it over with. “I’ve thought a lot about it while you and Ryan have been over there whispering. I voluntarily left the witness protection program. My case, according to WITSEC, was closed. But even if they would take me back, I’m not sure I’d want to go. Whether Will leaked my information or not doesn’t really matter. It’s out there. And with everything that happened, I obviously can’t stay here. I’d go now, except”—her gaze strayed to her daughter’s angelic face—“Shannon’s been through so much tonight, I wanted to give her one good night’s sleep before we leave.”

Kate was quiet for a moment, then finally said, “Where will you go?”

Options raced through Simone’s frazzled mind. Options she’d considered over the last few days, then abandoned. “I’m not sure. Somewhere far from here. That’s all I know.”

“Don’t jump without thinking, Simone.”

Simone looked to her friend. “I’m not. But if it was Reed’s and Julia’s safety on the line—”

Kate sighed. “I’d do the exact same thing.”

Simone knew her friend would.

Kate squeezed her hand and pushed to her feet, then reached for a blanket Simone hadn’t noticed on the coffee table. “I brought this for you and Shannon. If you’re really leaving in the morning, you need your rest too.”

Simone took the blanket and looked up at her friend. “You’re not going to try to stop me?”

“No.” She glanced across the room to where Ryan was busily searching his computer monitor. “But that man of mine is trying to come up with some other options for you. If he finds something, will you at least listen?”

Simone frowned. “I don’t know what he could possibly find that would change my mind.”

“Let’s just see what he discovers. He has been known to surprise us, now and again.”

Ryan Harrison, CEO of the universe, come up with something game changing? It could happen, but Simone doubted it. This situation wasn’t something his money or fame or billion-dollar pharmaceutical company could fix.

She forced a sad smile she didn’t feel and looked back at her friend. “Sure. But I’m not getting my hopes up. They’ve been crushed to rubble before.”

“Have a little faith, Simone. Sometimes, it’s all you really need.”

Simone flicked off the TV, spread the blanket over her daughter, and lay down on the other arm of the sofa, so their heads were touching on the pillow they shared. She used to have faith, but even that had failed her. She’d lost her identity, lost her husband, and now she was losing not just the family she’d come to love here in San Francisco, but she’d lost Mitch. The only other person besides Shannon she would risk all of this for.

In her case, even faith seemed miles out of her grasp.

A wave of steam preceded Mitch when he stepped out of the bathroom after his shower. The room was dark, the TV was off, and the only people he could see were Simone and Shannon, asleep on the leather sectional.

Emotions rolled through his chest. His body urged him to go over, gather them both in his arms, and hold them close where nothing could hurt them. But his pride and that searing betrayal still simmering in his gut wouldn’t let him.

The light in the adjacent conference room was on, so he moved that way. Through the glass doors, he saw Ryan sitting behind his laptop, the screen reflecting in his reading glasses as he pointed to something for Kate, who was standing next to him, her arms crossed over her chest, her head dipped low.

He didn’t like that worried look. His sister had already been through too much. And he disliked the serious expression on Ryan’s surly face even more.

Pushing the door open, he forced his shoulders to relax and tried to keep things light. God knew they’d all had too much heavy to last them the rest of their lives. “Something tells me you’re not watching porn in here.”

Kate’s head shot up, and she quickly masked the fear in her eyes. She dropped her hands. “How are you feeling? Are you okay? Do you need me to rewrap that bandage?”

The last thing he needed was her fawning all over him. “No, I’m fine. Though I could use some of that coffee you brewed earlier. I don’t think I’m sleeping much tonight.”

She smiled, but it wasn’t one of her normal happy smiles, and that dimple they both shared didn’t even wink his way. “I’ll get it.” She turned to her husband. “Babe?”

“Yeah, I’ll have another cup.”

She grabbed his mug from the table and crossed the room. When she reached Mitch at the door, she rose on her toes, wrapped her arms around his neck, and gave him a tight hug. “You scared me. Don’t do that again.”

He hugged her back. “I’ll try not to.”

She dropped to her feet, smiled again, then disappeared out the door. When they were alone, Mitch looked at his best friend and frowned. “Your acting skills suck. I can totally tell whatever you found is gonna fuck up my life even more.”

Ryan leaned back in his chair and chuckled. “I never claimed to be Oscar worthy.”

“Woulda thought you’d picked something up, all those years dating models and actresses.” He crossed the room and looked at the screen over Ryan’s shoulder.

Ryan swiveled his leather chair at the head of the conference table and glanced up at Mitch. Behind him, out the wall of glass, city lights twinkled against a black sky. “They weren’t exactly giving me acting lessons.”

No, they hadn’t been. In the years after they’d all thought Kate had died, Ryan had gone through a two-year depression where he hadn’t done much of anything besides work. Then, after much prodding—mostly from Mitch—he’d started dating again. But he hadn’t gone for normal women. No, the women he’d picked had all been flashy, self-centered, and not a single one had lasted more than a few weeks. He’d done his best to date every single woman who was the opposite of his dead wife, and not a single one had done anything to make him forget.