Screw this space shit. I took three long strides to her and pulled her into my arms. “I tell you I love you and you cry. I ain’t that bad. I got some good qualities. Number one being you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. I loved you when you were a girl, and I love you now. Always just loved you.”
She sobbed harder, but this time her hands grabbed my shirt and she held on to me tightly. That was a start.
“I love my brother. But he fucked up. Everything. He made bad decisions and he didn’t know what he had. That night, the night he was killed, I went to find him. Heard he was drinking and partying, and he had a game the next day. And I found him with her. I got so fucking angry. He had you. Why would he need anyone else? I said things I shouldn’t to a drunk sixteen-year-old boy, and he was coming to you that night because I told him I was telling you. I wasn’t letting him do that to you. He panicked and raced out drunk and got behind the wheel before I could stop him.” I paused and took a deep breath. The tightness in my chest was there again. That night was a nightmare I would live with my entire life.
“I was about five minutes behind him. I was blocked in at the party, and by the time I got my car out, he’d already wrapped his around a tree. I was too late to save him. I wasn’t smart. I got angry and I said things I can’t take back.”
Sienna wasn’t crying anymore. She had gone still and quiet in my arms.
This was the truth. She wanted the truth, and it was ugly. It was something I would never be able to get over. But it was the fucking truth.
“He got behind that wheel. He was the one who got drunk. You didn’t make him do either of those things,” she said, her head tilted back to look up at me.
I knew that, but I also knew he had been too young to make the right decisions. So ultimately it had been my fault. I hadn’t handled it right, and he’d lost his life.
“I loved you then,” I told her again. I needed her to understand. For years I had beat myself up about it. I had fucked women. Lots of redheads, trying like hell to forget she ever existed. But my world had lit up like a fucking Christmas tree when she’d walked around that corner in those cutoff shorts. Seeing her again—it had been a jolt I hadn’t known I needed. I had just been surviving. Not really living. I was watching my friends live around me, but I wasn’t living. I was getting by. Making it day to day.
Sienna made me want to live again. Micah made me want to live. They were mine, and I wasn’t letting them go.
“I love you,” she said. “I loved you from the moment you found my locker on my first day of high school. I had been so scared and lost. And you’d swooped in and saved the day. I never felt scared when you were around. You made me happy.”
The screen door opened, and Sienna jumped into my arms. We both looked over as Micah stepped outside onto the porch, rubbing his sleepy eyes. “Are we camping out on the porch now?” he asked.
Sienna started laughing, then shook her head. “Not tonight, kiddo. Maybe another night. Tonight we’re sleeping in our comfy beds.”
Micah nodded and looked from Sienna to me, then back to his mother. “Is Uncle Dewayne gonna come inside and sleep too?”
Sienna glanced back up at me. I didn’t want her to make this decision just because she didn’t want to confuse the kid, but right now I would take whatever leverage I could get. I wanted in my woman’s bed.
“Yeah, Uncle Dewayne is coming inside to sleep.”
Micah yawned. “You need to get him a bigger bed,” he said, then turned and walked back inside. “Come tuck me in. I’m sleepy.”
“I’m coming,” Sienna replied.
“Uncle Dewayne too. I want him to tuck me in too,” Micah called out from inside.
“We’re coming,” I said, then winked at Sienna, who just smiled.
Two months later . . .
SIENNA
Because I looked for that girl with the red ponytail to come walking across the street every damn day.
I stopped and picked up the piece of paper on Dewayne’s empty pillow. The words didn’t make sense. He looked for me to come across the street? When? I stood up and stretched. He had left for work early. He’d let me know last night that he had to go to work early this morning. The big condo project that Falco Construction had gotten had a level being completed today. This was important for Dewayne’s future. His father had never gotten jobs like this, but Dewayne was taking the business to the next level. I was so proud of him.
I tucked the little piece of paper with the odd note into the pocket of my wrap and went to the bathroom. I’d call him and ask him about it later. Maybe I’d get it once I had coffee. We had gone to bed kind of late last night. He had been unable to keep his hands off me, and I’d enjoyed it very much.
Another little note was on the mirror. I walked over and pulled it off.
Because those big, lost eyes looked at me with trust and lit up whenever they met mine. What was he doing? This was crazy. I read it again and laughed, then tucked it into my pocket before brushing my teeth and then my hair. I didn’t have to work today. It was Monday, and I was off. I had to get Micah up and ready, but I’d set my alarm so that I got to drink my coffee before I had to wake up my ball of energy.
I slipped my feet into my furry slippers now that the nights were getting cooler and making the hardwood floors cold in the morning. I opened my door quietly and went to the kitchen. The first thing I noticed was another piece of paper like the others beside the coffeepot.
Because hearing you laugh makes everything okay.
So that one was sweet and made more sense. I got it now. He was leaving me notes about why he loved me. The past two months, Dewayne Falco had become Mr. Romantic. Which was something Preston, Marcus, and Rock thought was the funniest thing they’d ever seen. Dewayne took their ribbing with ease, though. He seemed to like it. I wasn’t sure what had happened to him.
Opening the fridge, I reached for the cream only to find another note.
Because you healed me. When no one else could.
I teared up at that one and folded it carefully and added it to the others. That man. I loved him. He didn’t see it, but he had healed me too. He had healed my past pain and my bitterness. I’d been able to let it go. Mother was even coming for a visit next month to stay a few days and meet Micah. Life was short, and I was holding something against her and keeping my son from knowing his grandmother. She wouldn’t always be there. My father lost his chance to know Micah. But my mother was still here and she wanted to know him.
Reaching into the cabinet, I grabbed my favorite cup, and inside was another note. This was like a surprise scavenger hunt. He knew my morning routine so well. Grinning, I picked it up.
Because you’re the most amazing woman and mother I’ve ever known.
The tears were back. Dang it, I was going to be a crying mess by the time I had to wake up Micah. I sniffed and wiped at my face, then tucked the note with the others. I was going to have to put these somewhere special. Keep them.
I walked over and made my coffee, then turned to the sugar, already prepared to find another note. He didn’t let me down. There it was.
Because I can’t imagine a life without you.
I wasn’t going to cry this time. I fought it back and tucked the note away. He was so getting laid when he got home. The really good wild kind he liked, with me bent over the bed. Maybe even a hell of a good blow job.
I walked over to the table and sat down with my coffee, and just as I pulled out the chair he surprised me again with a note on the seat. I really was predictable in the morning. He even knew which chair to put it on.
Because you and Micah and the other children we will have are my future.
Whoa. Okay. That was . . . wow. I reread it again, then tucked it with the others. We hadn’t talked about kids. Not ours, at least. We had spent a lot of time with his friends and a lot of time cuddled up talking about life. But we didn’t bring up the future a lot. I just knew I wanted him in it. He and Micah were my heart. They filled me up.
Micah’s door opened, and he stepped out looking like he’d been awake for a while. Weird. He was grinning like he had the best secret in the world.
“Well, good morning, handsome,” I said, opening my arms for him to walk into. He held out his hand instead, and in it was another note. Dewayne had given one to Micah, too.
Because from the time I was seventeen there was only one girl for me.
I sniffed and smiled at Micah. “Did Dewayne give you this before he left or last night?” I asked him, trying to figure out why Micah was up and dressed so early.
“This morning,” Micah replied.
Then Micah’s door opened again, and Dewayne stepped out of it. He wasn’t dressed for work at all. He gave me a sexy smirk and winked. This man was crazy. I loved every bit of his crazy.
“You’re here,” I said, and Micah moved over to stand beside me just as Dewayne got to me and held out his hand. Another piece of paper.
Because you’re mine. And I’m so fucking yours.
I started to laugh and held the note so Micah couldn’t see it. I didn’t need him saying the F word at school. But Dewayne lowered himself to the floor, and he was on . . . one knee.
Oh my God.
He held out his other hand, and in it was a beautiful princess-cut diamond ring.
“Because I want you to take my last name. Because I want Micah to take my last name. And because I’m nothing without you. Sienna Roy, will you marry me?”
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