Vivian Arend - High Risk

Becki undid the waist belt connections, letting the heavy harness fall to the floor with a sudden crash. “No. No, and no. Damn you, Marcus, you’re turning this into another training session, and I was supposed to be all grown up and doing the teaching this time.”

“Can I help it if you forgot a few of the lessons I taught you? I’m offering a refresher.”

He shouldn’t have taken it there. Not now, not when she was still freshly terrified. But hell if he was going to let her run away. Or even walk—this was too important.

Something about seeing her freeze had changed everything. It was no longer just sexual interest he felt, the lingering desire to get physical. Her panic had triggered an emotion he hadn’t experienced in what seemed to be forever.

The need to get emotionally involved—to make a difference. This time on a personal level, not something worthwhile but generic like the distraction of his rescue squad.

It was as if embers had been stirred under him, cracking the icy core inside him. The desire to focus on something other than the misery he spent so much energy hiding from the team. His personal ghosts had haunted him for far too long, and by now he never expected them to go away. He’d accepted his occasional nightmares as unavoidable, but allowing her to suffer if there was any way to help was unacceptable.

Making sure that Becki didn’t have to deal with unanswered questions for the next four years of her life—it was a good goal to which to turn his considerable attention. If he had to smack her with the one common denominator they’d had all those years ago—sex—he’d damn well take advantage of it.

Her expression changed from indignation to passion before she snapped a lid on her control.

Marcus didn’t let up. “Together we’ll train the team. Outside of that time, you will train me and help me figure out how to use this arm as well as I used to. In exchange, I will train you, and we’ll get to the bottom of whatever the hell happened to you.”

“What if it never comes? What if everything stays a mystery?” she demanded.

“Then we concentrate on getting you back to climbing.” He broke eye contact, focusing instead on freeing his own rope. “The mind is a curious thing, Becki. Maybe you won’t ever know exactly what happened during the accident. Doesn’t mean you can’t learn to climb and not have to worry about freezing.”

She blew out a long, unsteady breath. “So that’s what happened?”

“Yeah.” He was finally loose, straightening the rope and allowing it to fall smoothly into place against the wall. “Wait. That’s another thing on the list.”

“There’s a list?”

He glanced up, pleased to see she was smiling a little. “There’s always a list with me.”

Oh yeah. Her eyes heated. “What did I miss this time?”

“You will not apologize if—and that’s if, not when—you need to be saved again.”

Becki stared at the wall. “Bloody sadist.”

“Not at all. I won’t enjoy a minute of it if you don’t want me to.”

She snorted, then gathered her things. “Why do I feel as if I signed up for something way worse than what you put your team through? And by the way, even if you’re not a sadist, you’re a mean son of a bitch. You called them out of bed after taking them for wings and drinks last night?”

“Also made them do repeats while we had breakfast. Don’t forget that part.”

An aura of sadness and fear still clung to her, but she seemed far more willing to keep moving forward with him than a few minutes before. Becki lifted her gym bag straps over her shoulder, settling the bag against her hip. She glanced around at the gym and shook her head. “Never thought this place would end up breaking me.”

“It’s not going to. You’re going to come out on top.”

She raised a brow and nodded curtly. “I am. I will.”

The determined line of her jaw said it louder than her words.

She was out the door and headed for the dorms, frustrated energy making her stride quick and wide. Her mind was stuffed full and yet empty—everything as tangled together as the ropes had been: Unusable. Impossible.

The first holds had been perfect. The sensation of her body obeying her commands a thrill as always. She’d planned on testing her limits to see what she had to regain.

It seemed a whole hell of a lot. Everything that had defined her now lay in a mess, her identity tangled and tattered.

She hadn’t realized how much it would hurt to have her abilities questioned all over again, and it didn’t matter that Marcus said he didn’t doubt her. She doubted herself, and that meant she was back to square one.

A rock kicked up beside her and she startled to discover Marcus pacing at her side. “Shit. Have you been there the entire time?”

“We need to talk.” He adjusted the bag he carried.

“About the team’s schedule. Right. This afternoon.”

“Well, there’s also the issue of our training, details of which we can add to the official meeting. In the meantime, I need a workout. Want to join me?”

A workout was exactly what she needed. Sweaty, mindless, physically demanding activity to wipe away her need to analyze and reanalyze every second of what went wrong this morning. “Another run?”

He shook his head. “A swim.”

They were at the doors to the dorms. “Deal. Where?”

“Back at the school?” Marcus stood and waited, his strong body at ease like some kind of hunting cat waiting for the exact right moment to pounce. “Or the Banff Centre, or the rec centre. Your choice.”

She wasn’t going willingly back into the school, not today. No matter what she’d said about not letting the place beat her, she needed a breather. “Rec centre. We can do a few weights as well.”

“Deal. I’ll meet you there in twenty minutes.”

He walked the slight hill to where his truck was parked, and she couldn’t turn away. His broad shoulders, the flex of his ass under his pants. She’d spent a month studying him on the sly when they’d first met, and the same magnetism that had pulled her in back then was still there. Still had her staring long after she should have gone to grab her swim things.

What was it about Marcus? What made her lose all common sense and want to flirt and carry on like some infatuated teenager? Even shaken from the experience on the wall, he caught her attention and made everything else she should be concentrating on slip away.

She had to rush to make it in time.

Stepping to the exterior doors of the rec centre pulled an involuntary smile to her lips. The stonework and glass made the huge building nestle into the trees as if it had grown there. The rustic construction style was shared by many businesses and homes in the Banff area. Like the mountains rising around them, the human-made structure became a fitting part of the whole. The log features carried the taste of nature inside as well. Becki took a deep, satisfied breath as she stopped at the desk to pay.

A sense of the familiar, the . . . rightness. This was exactly what she needed to counter her chaotic soul.

The girl behind the desk smiled at her. “Becki James?”

Becki hesitated, trying to place the face. “Yes?”

“You’re already paid for. You can stop by any time and get your picture done for the pass. For now, let me put this on you.” The girl held out a brightly coloured wristband.

Obviously Marcus had beat her to the centre. “Are there any pool restrictions today? Or in the gym?”

The girl shook her head. “Nothing booked in the gym until after supper. In the pool, there’s an aquasize class in about thirty minutes, but the deep tank will be free, and there’s always at least one lane kept open for laps.”

“Thanks.”

Becki changed before stopping by the floor-to-ceiling windows to check the aquatic centre. The sunshine had faded to grey as clouds moved in, but in the pool area an oasis of light and heat remained.

“Weights first?”

She twirled to discover Marcus standing directly behind her. He’d changed as well into casual running shorts and a well-worn T-shirt with the logo of one of the local restaurants emblazoned across the front. A neoprene sleeve covered his stump and wrapped over his elbow—probably both for protection and to provide a better grip. “You move very quietly for a big man.”

“Helps me sneak up on all those innocent deer in the parking lot. Come on.”

He held open the door to the weight room and she stepped in, the cool of the air-conditioning brushing the bare skin of her arms and legs like a caress. A few others were in the room, doing bicep curls or using the machines. Rock music from the local station played softly in the background, a fitting counter to the low-pitched hum of the treadmills.

“General arms, legs? What are you thinking?” she asked.

“Up to you. I’m game for more lower-body work in here—the swim later will be enough upper body to finish.”

Perfect. She pointed to a couple of steppers that faced the exterior windows, and soon they were both moving. Outside the grey skies had gone nearly white, the brown grass making everything almost monochromatic. The mountaintops were dusted with fresh snow—the rain earlier in the week freezing at the higher elevations. Spring in Alberta—there was still a long way to go to get to the lush green that would take over the place in the summer.

The conversation as they warmed up stayed generic. Comfortable. Fifteen minutes passed quickly as Marcus led the discussion of nothing important. Becki was grateful, even as she cursed herself for spending more time looking at his reflection in the mirrorlike glass than staring through it at the gorgeous mountains surrounding them.