Tripp cleared his throat, then raised his eyes to meet Devon’s. “His belt was flawed.”

Marcus nodded. “That’s my first suspicion. We’ll check all the gear before I write it up as the cause. I had Lana pull maintenance records before I sent her home. We just bought the new shipments. Maybe one of them wasn’t up to standard.”

Devon rocked back, cradling Alisha. “Can we help check anything? This sitting around waiting is crap.”

Marcus shook his head. “We have to go by the book now. I think you should all go home. I’ll call you when I have news, or when I need to talk to you.”

What Marcus wasn’t saying was he’d need to talk to them individually to find out if one of them had contributed to the accident. It sucked, but Devon knew that was the reality.

Devon got to his feet and pulled Alisha with him, because sitting at HQ wouldn’t help time go faster. “Call us when you need us. Call us when you hear anything.”

Marcus nodded, giving them time to gather their things and retreat from the building.

Devon paused with his hand on the car door before motioning to Alisha. “Give me a second. I’m going to make sure Marcus is okay.”

Alisha started the car and turned the heater on high. “If he needs somewhere to come, invite him over. I don’t know if Becki is free.”

Devon shot back through the main doors to find Marcus still seated where he’d left him. “You okay?” he asked.

Marcus snorted. “You mean between one of my team in the hospital, one of them freaking out on me, and having to deal with an emergency inquiry? Fucking aces around here.”

Someone had freaked out? Devon sat opposite him and focused on the first and most important issue. “It was an accident, Marcus. A terrible, tragic accident, but we’ll see it through. We’re a team, and Xavier will be fine.”

Marcus raised a brow. “You’ve been taking optimist lessons from Alisha, have you?”

Devon grudgingly cracked a smile. “She’s contagious.”

His boss sighed. “She’ll be glad to know that the silver lining is Lana won’t be around anymore. Woman went out of control when the news came through that Xavier was hurt, I thought I’d have to sedate her.”

Devon had wondered where Lana had gone. “Good thing she wasn’t out on the actual rescue. What the hell is that all about?”

A shrug of the shoulders was all he got from Marcus. “Seriously, I don’t care how well the woman can climb, if she can’t keep her head in a tight situation she’s no help to a SAR team. When she heard Xav was hurt, she started hyperventilating and things went downhill from there. I sent her home. She was on probation, and this is enough to let me cancel her contract.” Marcus glanced up. “And I’m sending you home. You’ve abandoned Alisha in the parking lot. Get out of here. We’ll deal with the crap later.”

Devon nodded. He paused to rest his hand on Marcus’s shoulder to give it a comforting squeeze, then headed to the car to take care of Alisha. And himself.

The sight of Xavier lying in a tangled heap had broken something inside him. It had always been a possibility, but seeing it happen cut like a rusty, ragged blade.

Superimposed was another image. Another body lying twisted on the ground, dust settling around them as his father lay silent and motionless and the horses shuffled nervously. Devon shook his head as if to clear the memory, then rejoined Alisha.

She’d been crying, but straightened as he sat. “Marcus okay?”

“He’ll be fine. Let’s head home.”

They washed up. Ate a little. Waited for the phone to ring to find out news about Xavier, but nothing came. By the time they gave up and headed to bed, Devon was going crazy.

Alisha crawled in, her eyes filled with tears. Devon tugged her against him, and for the first time since the accident he felt something other than lost.

“He’s going to be okay, isn’t he?” Alisha rolled to face him, tilting her head to stare up, her eyes all the way grey, not a trace of blue in the depths.

Devon couldn’t speak for a moment. He’d told Marcus some positive, happy crap, but he couldn’t say the words anymore. “I don’t know. God, I don’t know.”

They held each other tightly, the pain and uncertainty horrific, but being together making it tolerable. Memories swirled around him and he couldn’t take it any longer. “I need to tell you something.”

She paused in the middle of stroking his neck, her fingers gentle on muscles that had grown weary from remaining tight and clenched.

“My dad—he’s . . .”

Her eyes narrowed when he didn’t continue. God, how could he continue? He had to.

“You know how my siblings are a pain in the ass? They don’t think I’ll ever grow up. Ever amount to anything.”

Alisha shook her head. “They’re idiots. We’ve established that.”

Devon shook his head. “They’re not completely. They’re going on what they know. On what I’ve done. Dad’s in that wheelchair because of me, and we all know that’s the truth.”

Alisha leaned on her elbow, staring in confusion. “How is it your fault?”

Devon stared at the ceiling, unable to meet her eyes any longer. “I was riding with him when it happened. We were far out from the house, just farting around. It wasn’t anything different than a hundred times except it was. We were the only ones riding that day.” Devon laughed bitterly. “You know how often that happened in a family the size of mine? There was always someone else around, but that day it was me and him, and it was special. Then I decided we should have a race. I jumped the gun, you know, one of those, ready, set and then leave before you say go?”

She leaned over and he couldn’t avoid her eyes unless he actually twisted away. “Go on.”

He didn’t think anymore, just said it. “For some reason, his horse spooked. I didn’t even notice he wasn’t with me until I was at the top of the next ridge. I thought he was kidding around and left him behind. Heck, I unsaddled and curried down my horse before I figured something was wrong. When I finally went to look, he wasn’t moving.”

Sorrow filled Alisha’s face. “That must have been devastating.”

“It gets worse. I went back and he was just lying there. Dust on him, his horse waiting uneasily.” Pain squeezed around his heart as he remembered what came next. As he wished he could turn back the clock and change what he’d done. “God, Alisha. I moved him.”

Her eyes widened.

“I didn’t know how stupid it was, but I should have. Should have realized going to get help was the better solution, but no, I woke him and while he was still dazed got him to sit and then stand. He could barely stay upright, but I was all eager to be helpful after feeling guilty for abandoning him.”

He’d had no idea what real guilt felt like until later.

Alisha sat up beside him. She cupped his cheek tenderly. “How old were you?”

“Ten.”

She frowned. “Oh, Devon. There was no way you could have known to leave him. When I was ten, if someone had fallen down I would have done the same thing.”

Devon continued. “It was one reason I went into search and rescue. I took all my first-aid courses and learned what to do so I wouldn’t make stupid mistakes anymore. Working with Lifeline has been such a rewarding experience.” He let out a long slow sigh. “But it doesn’t change the past. Doesn’t make my father able to walk, or allow the family to forgive me. They don’t trust me—whether that’s right or wrong, I don’t know. But it was a turning point in my life. Losing their trust changed me. Changed my direction in life.”

He sat up and pulled her into his arms, needing the warmth of her against him as he continued.

“I told you that to tell you this. Being a part of Lifeline was another turning point. But the bigger one was meeting you. Having you toss my lazy-ass don’t give a shit attitude in my face? You made me take notice of the stupid things I was doing.”

Alisha tilted her head to one side. “You weren’t stupid.”

He gave her a look.

She smiled softly. “Well, maybe a little.”

“I was wasting my time. Cruising through because I had the talent to get by without working, and as my family liked to tell me, I wouldn’t get it right anyway. Why should I try harder? I’d slack-assed my way through swim team, and it cost me making the national team. Even though I came to the search-and-rescue school for the right reasons, I was stuck with that shitty attitude. Putting out minimal effort, getting by. Somewhere in the top half of the class, but nowhere spectacular. You challenged me. Told me to grow up, and I did. We kicked ass at school because of you. That top placing got us on Lifeline, and for the first time in my life since my dad’s accident I could honestly say I was in the right place.”

He cupped her cheek, stroking his thumb along her jaw. “People trust me with their lives, and I don’t let them down. And you’re part of why I got there. You made a difference, and I never thanked you for it.”

She blinked hard, her eyes wet with tears. “If I pushed you, you brought me up to the top at the same time. I don’t think either of us would be where we are if it weren’t for the competitions, and the never-ending challenge to do more. So, thank you.”

* * *

They clung to each other for a moment, Alisha soaking in his warmth. The kindness of his words. She tried to put it all in perspective with the crash and the accident and the uncertainty of Xavier’s future.

When Devon lifted her chin and pressed his lips to hers in a tender kiss, her heart skipped a beat. Passion flared again, heating them as he stroked a hand down her back to pull her against him as their tongues lazily explored.