Haley sighed heavily. "No. Not really."
Nellie touched her shoulder, her eyes bright with emotion. "You never talk about yourself. I know- I mean, I could tell you're not used to people. Not really."
"I'm not used to people like you. Nice, loving, caring people. I didn't grow up like this." Haley turned away from the compassion, the understanding, feeling as if she could simply shatter from the pressure. "I tried to explain that to Cam, but he didn't want to understand."
"It's not easy for him. You must know that. He feels he has to protect you."
"But that's ridiculous. I don't want him to protect me."
Nellie's face softened. "After what happened to Lorraine, can you blame him for his desperation to keep you safe?"
Haley moved away, went back to the sink, leaning against it because suddenly her feet wouldn't support her. "I'm not his wife."
"He has feelings for you."
"He told you that?"
Nellie laughed. "Of course not. He has pride. Too much of it. But then again, all the Reeves men do. No, he didn't say a word. But I can see it in his face when he watches you. Oh, yes," she said at Haley's glance of surprise. "He watches you. Just as you watch him when you think no one's looking."
"Oh, great. I must be a great source of entertainment for all of you."
"No. We think what's happening between the two of you is the greatest thing to happen to Cam in a long time. We care about you, Haley. Maybe if you and Cam-you know-got together, you'd stay."
A nice dream, Haley thought, closing her eyes. "This is very difficult for me, Nellie."
"Are you saying you don't have feelings for him?" Nellie crossed her arms and gave her a knowing look. "Go ahead, Haley. Try to tell me. But I'm warning you, you're not a very good liar. I'm on to you."
"Isn't there something-anything-else we can talk about?"
"Absolutely." Nellie's eyes were serious, probing. "Let's talk about us helping you."
"No." If she did, they'd die. "I won't risk getting you hurt."
Nellie looked like she might protest, but didn't. She came close and gave Haley a quick, fierce, very protective hug. "Then promise you'll stay here."
"I can't."
"Honey, for me. Promise."
"Nellie," Cam said mildly. He was leaning against the doorjamb. "Leave it alone. You can't force her."
Haley's heart all but stopped at the sight of him. He moved into the kitchen, his long, lean limbs working with their usual grace and fluidity. They hadn't had much time alone in the past few days. Now she knew why. He'd been busy butting into her life. His face was void of expression, but he couldn't mask those eyes. Filled with unleashed heat, they landed directly on her with the impact of an explosion. The physical pain of it made her look away.
"But, Cam," Nellie protested. "If she leaves, she could get hurt."
"You heard us, then," he said flatly. "Jason will be upset, Nel. He won't want you worrying about this."
"Yeah, well, he should have told me himself." Nellie put a hand on her hip and gave him a long look. "And for the record, I don't need your protection, she does! Do something, Cam, to make her believe that. Do it right now before she gets hurt."
Without waiting for him to make a move, Nellie turned to Haley. "Please, Haley. Listen to me. Zach used to be a cop. He's got lots of connections. He can help."
Sure. He could help extradite her. Then she'd go to trial for crimes the South American authorities were already certain she'd committed. She'd be executed before the next sunrise.
"Nellie, could you give Haley and me a minute?" Cam sent Nellie a special sister-to-brother look, communicating without a word.
Nellie locked Haley in a quick bear hug. She repeated the motion with Cam, whispering something in his ear that had him nodding his head solemnly.
"Thanks, honey," he said to her, leading her to the kitchen door with an arm around her waist. "Now go rest. And stop worrying about this or Jas will have my hide."
He waited until they were alone before turning back to Haley. His gaze pinned her to the spot. "Nellie was drilling you."
"Kindly, but yes." Haley had never felt so… sick. She'd destroyed any chance she would have had with the most wonderful man on earth. "I know you're upset with me."
"Do you?"
"Yes. And I completely understand. I can leave, but I'd like to wait until-"
He let out a disbelieving laugh. "You understand nothing, Haley. Absolutely nothing, if you can calmly discuss my wanting you to leave."
"You… don't want me to go?"
A muscle worked in his cheek and into his eyes came the warm light she'd wanted so badly to see. "God, no." He came toward her, but stopped short of touching her.
"What do you want?"
He let out a low laugh. "A lot of things. To know you, for one."
"You know me."
He just looked at her, then opened the leather jacket he wore. From the inside pocket he took out two things she recognized immediately. He held up the tiny notebook and the pocket phone book she always kept in her purse.
"I found these under my desk. I'm guessing they came from your purse. The funny thing is," he said in a deceptively calm voice, "I consider myself a smart man. Not terribly motivated, I admit, but that's another story." He flipped through her notebook. "These notes might have been written in Greek for all I understand. Lots of geology talk. Magnitudes, intensity, seismic waves, that sort of thing. I'm guessing they have something to do with South America."
"Yes," she said harshly. "Thanks to those notes, people's lives have been destroyed. Thanks to me, there's been earthquakes, a bomb set off, and uranium found, then lost because of greed." She gulped hard. "Thanks to what's in those notes, my life has been turned upside down and I'm a wanted woman, on the run from God-knows-whom and the law."
Cam tilted his head and studied her thoughtfully. "Feel better?"
She did. Letting it all out felt a whole lot better, but hell if she'd admit it when she was so keyed up, that if he so much as touched her, she'd explode. "That's my phone book, too," she snapped. "Hope you enjoyed your little sneak peek into my life, Cameron." She reached for it, a little surprised when he gave it right over.
"I didn't enjoy anything," he said quietly, his voice gentle and incredibly apologetic. "I just was hoping you'd tell me why you don't have any non-geology numbers listed in there except for an Isabella Whitfield in Manhattan. Is she a relative?"
"She's my mother, though I have no idea if that's the current address for her. We… sort of lost touch." Another lie. Not told to avoid danger this time, but for self-preservation. How could she admit her mother didn't want anything to do with the nerd kid she'd never understood? "There's no one else in there because, as I told you, I don't have anyone else."
"You have me," he said, startling her by taking her shoulders. His eyes held so much, her own grew wet. "You keep forgetting that."
"No, I don't forget. I just…" Just what? What would keep him safe? "I just don't want you."
"Really?" He pulled her to him, his eyes dark and intent. She braced herself, but his kiss was tenderly devastating, and she had no defenses against it. She moaned and held him close, trying to memorize each and every sensation, to keep it all in her heart forever.
Cam pulled his head back a fraction. "Don't want me, huh?"
She was wrapped around him like cellophane on candy. She flushed.
"It's all coming back to haunt you, isn't it?" he asked roughly, giving her a little shake. "Lies have a nasty habit of doing that, you know. I warned you." He inhaled deeply as if it hurt to breathe. "I told you, I can't do this anymore, and I meant it." He sank his fingers into her hair, forcing her to look into his terribly hurt eyes. "But you can't stop, can you? You can't stop lying. Not even to yourself."
Anger surged, hurt seeped deep. She pushed him away. "Dammit, I'm not Lorraine! I'm not lying to you about getting my nails done, or spending too much money on clothes! This is life and death and… God. I don't want to witness yours." She shoved at him again, the tears she didn't want to acknowledge threatening to spill. "You have a terrible habit of crowding me, Cameron, I keep telling you that." She whirled from him, then leaned over the table on stiff arms.
He came up behind her-she could feel him, though he didn't make a sound. She closed her eyes against the deep, yearning ache he invariably caused.
"I'm not going to die." His voice, by her ear, was gravelly with emotion. "And neither are you. I won't let it happen. But, Haley, you've got to trust me-at least with how you feel for me. You're killing me, here."
She felt wretchedly ashamed now. In his voice was something she'd always wanted, something she could have, if she would only reach for it. But she couldn't. He couldn't know what it did to her heart, to be offered something she'd wanted her entire life-trust-and then to have to turn it away. "I'm going to leave, Cam."
He dropped her notebook on the table in front of her. It clamored noisily in the silent kitchen. "I wish you could believe in me. I want that more than you could know. But even more than that, I want your safety. I don't want anything to happen to you, Haley. You want me to stop crowding you. Fine. I will. But don't leave."
She felt his fingers brush over the back of her neck in a soft, loving caress. She held herself rigid, knowing if he so much as touched her again, she'd give in and fly into his arms.
"Don't go," he whispered. Without another word, he left the kitchen.
She waited until the door shut before sinking into the nearest chair, dropping her head into her arms. The tears she'd been holding back fell freely, but it didn't matter.
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