“Papa, please … this isn't the fourteenth century. Can't you be more modern about this? Everyone talks about what a creative, modern ruler you are. Why can't you let me be with a commoner, even marry him someday? I don't care if my children have titles, or are commoners. I'll even give up mine if you wish. I'm not in line for the succession. I could never reign here, even if Freddy didn't. So why does it matter who I marry? I don't care if I'm a princess, Papa, or marry a prince,” she said, engulfed in sobs, as he looked at her miserably.
“But I do. We cannot ignore our own traditions, or our constitution, whenever it's convenient. That's what duty and honor are about. You must do your duty, even when it hurts, even when it means you must make sacrifices. That's why we're here, to lead the people and protect them and show them by our example what we expect of them, and what's the right thing to do.” He was a purist and an idealist, for her and himself, bound by history and tradition. He made no exceptions to the rules, even for himself.
“That's your job, Papa, not mine. They don't care who I marry, and neither should you, as long as he's a good man.”
“I want you to have a good prince.”
“I don't. I swear, I will never marry if you do this.” He looked anguished as he responded. She loved this young American even more than he had feared.
“That would be a grave mistake. For you, even more than for me. If he loves you, he shouldn't want you to violate your heritage, out of respect for you. You need to marry someone from your own world, who understands your duties, traditions, and obligations, who has led the same life as you, someone of royal birth, Christianna. A commoner would never respect your life. It would never work. Trust me on this.”
“He's American, it makes no sense to him. Nor does it to me. This is completely stupid, and cruel.” She disagreed with everything he had said, and knew Parker would have too. She was fighting a thousand years of tradition, to no avail.
“You're not American. You know better than to do something like this. You're my daughter and you know what's expected of you. If this is what happened when you went to Africa, I am very sorry I allowed you to go. You have violated my trust.” It was everything she had told Parker, and all she had feared her father would say. In fact, it was worse.
He was completely intransigent and inflexible, living in another century, determined to follow tradition and the constitution and make no exception out of compassion for her. He was not even giving her a ray of hope. And worse, he was totally convinced that he was right. She knew he would never relent. She felt as though his words had broken her heart. She was almost in physical pain as she looked at her father in despair, and he looked at her in sorrow. He hated to cause her pain, but he felt he had no choice.
“I want you to stop seeing this man,” he said finally. “How you end it is up to you. I will not interfere, out of respect for you. And he has done nothing wrong, so far. You were both foolish to go to Paris, and expose yourselves. You saw what happened, they caught you immediately. You must end it, Cricky, as soon as possible, for both your sakes. I leave the rest up to you.” With that, he stood up and turned away. He did not come to put his arms around her because he knew how devastated and angry she was, and it seemed wiser to wait. She needed time to accept everything he had said, to make her peace with it, and tell this man. All he wanted and all he hoped now was that she would forgive him one day. But he was doing what he was convinced was right for her.
She stood up and looked at him in disbelief. She couldn't believe he was willing to do this to her. But he was. He felt it his duty, and had pointed out hers to her. And then, still crying, she turned and left the room without another word. There was nothing left to say.
When she returned to her apartment in the palace, she told her secretary to cancel her appointments and appearances for the rest of the day, the rest of the week in fact. She closed her bedroom door then, and called Parker in the States. He answered instantly, and had been waiting to hear from her. He had suspected that since the photograph had hit the newspapers, she would be talking to her father about it, and he would have something to say. Christianna was sobbing when he answered the phone. It didn't bode well for what her father had said to her.
“It's all right,” he said soothingly, “it's all right. Calm down.” She tried and failed miserably and finally caught her breath long enough to tell him in halting words what her father had said.
“He said we have to stop seeing each other immediately.” She sounded beaten, frightened, and like a child again, and all he wanted was to put his arms around her and console her and give her strength.
“And what do you say?” he asked, sounding anxious. He had been afraid of this. She had warned him of it since Senafe. And she was right. It was hard to believe that people in this century could take such an archaic position, but apparently her father had. The entire concept of Serene and Royal Highnesses was archaic. But she was in fact a princess, and like it or not, she had to deal with it. And so did he, and her father's insistence that she only marry a man of royal blood.
“I don't know what to say. I love you. But what can I do? He totally forbade me to pursue this with you. He said he'll never let us marry, and I know he means it. He would have to override the parliament and the Family Court to allow us to marry, and he won't.” And she felt wrong just running away. She couldn't do that. She wanted his permission. Parker believed it now, too, and he was as devastated as she was. To him, this was insane. It made no sense. For a moment, he thought of suggesting that they meet in secret until her father died, and once her brother ruled the country, she could sneak away. But realistically, Hans Josef could live another twenty or thirty years, and it would be no life for them. Her father had completely boxed her in, and him with her.
“Will you meet me again for a weekend?” There was a long pause while she thought about it. “I want to discuss this with you in person. Maybe we can figure out something.” Although he had to admit now that it was unlikely he could come up with a solution that she could live with, and that would be acceptable to her father. She was not willing to just walk and defy him, although perhaps in time she would be. He also knew that the promise made to her mother mattered to her, as well as the approval of the parliament and Family Court. In order to marry Parker, she had to be willing to defy them all. He knew it was a lot to ask. And he was thinking of talking to her father himself, if Christianna was willing, and if the prince would see him. Other than that, he had no suggestions for right now. He just wished he could put his arms around her, and so did she. This was so much harder than he had hoped it would be. All her fears had been right.
“I'll try,” she answered finally about the weekend. “I don't know when I can. I'll have to lie again. And we can't do this often.” In truth, she suspected that if she met him again, it would be the last time she ever saw him. She could not hide from her father forever, and the paparazzi would never let her, no matter how careful they were. But she wanted to see him one more time. Even if only that, and she was not going to ask her father permission to do so. She was sure he wouldn't even grant her that. So she did not intend to ask. “I'll see when I can get away. It may not be for a while. I have a feeling he's going to watch me closely. We'll just have to e-mail and use the phone for a while.”
“I'm not going anywhere,” he said calmly. He was trying to sound calmer for her than he felt. He was completely panicked. Thanks to the archaic traditions of her father and country, he was going to lose her. Her father was breaking both their hearts. “I love you, Cricky. We'll see what we can come up with.”
“I told him I would never marry,” she said, sobbing again, and his heart went out to her. Her pain was as great as his, perhaps greater, because she felt betrayed by someone she loved.
“Let's both calm down before you become the virgin princess in the tower. Maybe if we're stubborn enough over time, we'll wear him down. What if I go to talk to him?” Parker suggested cautiously.
“You don't know him,” she said somberly. “He won't see you, and we won't wear him down. He believes in what he's doing.” She sounded lighthearted for a moment then, and giggled. “And by the way, I'm not a virgin.”
“I won't tell if you don't,” he laughed. He wasn't willing to give up on her yet, in spite of her father. It seemed a lot to ask her to run away with him and abandon everything, and he didn't think she would. She had far too great a sense of duty to defy her father and the traditions and constitution of her country. To her it seemed almost like treason. She wanted to win her father over, and convince him. And even Parker was coming to believe it was hopeless. And she had a strong distaste for scandal because of her brother. But Parker was determined to find a way. There had to be one. He refused to be defeated. He asked her to call him back in a few hours, just to talk, and told her to try and calm down. She felt better after talking to him, he was so solidly there for her, and such a good person. But she still couldn't see a way to improve their situation. She knew her father would never relent. She wanted to see Parker one more time, and then she suspected she had to do as she was told, and say goodbye to him. It truly broke her heart.
Christianna remained locked up in her apartment for five days. She opened the door to no one save her secretary once a day, when she accepted a small amount of food on a tray. She called Parker and e-mailed him. She took no calls, she went nowhere. And she had no contact whatsoever with her father. He inquired about her many times a day, and was always told the same thing, that she hadn't come out of her apartment. He was grief-stricken, but just as she had no choice in the face of his rigid disapproval, he felt he had no choice either, given the traditions he was bound to uphold, and even the promise he had made her mother. They were trapped in a piece of history, both of them, however painful. And Parker along with them, with disastrous results for all. But no matter how agonizing, there was still no way out, for now.
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