She waited, and when he didn't continue, she jumped from the couch. "Are you telling me Saphira has been called back home? That her death is a hoax??"

Michael shook his head. "I don't know where Saphira is. There's no trace of her in Heaven, Hell or on Earth. It's like she no longer exists."

"This just gets better and better," Amber mumbled. "Michael, do you understand how detrimental Saphira's death has been to Es? She's dying, Michael... AGAIN. Whatever bargain Saphira made was useless, because this is killing Es just as surely as before." She dropped her head into her hands and propped her elbows on her knees. "Even if she survives long enough to finish this assignment, she's not going to live... she's going to exist. And I wouldn't put odds on her existing much beyond the conclusion of the mission. Es is broken, Michael, and if she finds out that Saphira's actions are what caused this...." Amber let her thoughts trail off and silence reigned for several moments. "Do you think Saphira knew about this? Do you think she expected this outcome when she capitulated?"

Michael shook his head. "I can't believe she did, Amber. For as many volatile run-ins as we've had, she's never neglected to do what it took to take care of Es."

Amber nodded, knowing it for the truth. Before she could reply, she heard Charisma and Esmeralda just outside the doors. Taking Michael's hand, she closed her eyes, and with that blink, they disappeared upstairs to her room.

************

Charisma had held her tongue, wanting to speak to Esmeralda privately. Just as they reached the doors to the living room, the phone rang, and Esmeralda excused herself to answer it. In a moment she was back.

"I'm sorry, Charisma. That was the funeral home. I need to go, but if you'd like to wait here...."

"Let me take you, Es. We can wait to talk until we return if you'd be more comfortable, but I have my car here. I would feel better if you'd let me take you. Don't say no," she added when it looked as if Esmeralda was going to refuse. "I can go in with you or I can wait in the car; just let me get you there and back safely."

Esmeralda shook her head, but didn't object aloud; she merely went to the closet to don her coat. Charisma followed suit and in minutes, they were headed for the funeral home.

The ride was quiet as Charisma had promised and when they arrived, Esmeralda turned to face her. "Thank you, Charisma. If you don't mind...?"

"I'll be right here when you get out," Charisma promised, cupping Esmeralda's face and brushing a kiss over her forehead. Esmeralda nodded and slipped from the car like a ghost, and Charisma pulled her phone out to let the others know where they had gone, then she settled in to wait.

************

She gave her name to the receptionist, and the woman immediately put a call in to the director. It only took a few seconds, and he was cradling Esmeralda's small hands between his much larger ones. "I'm so sorry for your loss," he offered, and Esmeralda acknowledged the platitude with a nod. She didn't want his words - they meant nothing to her. Seeing her reaction, the director cleared his throat and continued speaking. "Saphira has been prepared for cremation; I thought you might want an opportunity to say your final goodbye."

He winced when her hands tightened painfully around his, and he strained to hear her reply. "Thank you," she replied in a whisper. He nodded and released her hands to motion towards a short hallway to one side of the chapel.

"This way, please." Esmeralda walked beside him and he stopped at a thick wooden door and opened it. "Take all the time you need, Esmeralda. Just let Ms Ross know when you're ready to leave."

"Thank you, Mr. Prescott." The man watched her a moment longer, but she wasn't looking at him and he left quietly. Esmeralda kept her eyes focused on the still face in the wooden casket, unaware of the steps that brought her to Saphira's side.

For several long moments she stared, as though memorizing Saphira's features. Finally she raised her hands to gently touch Saphira's cold skin, shivering instinctively, but refusing to remove her hands from Saphira's face. Only when the cold began to seep into her bones did Esmeralda shift her hands, brushing the dark hair from Saphira's face then tucking her hands into her coat pockets once more.

"I'm not sure what to say, Saphira. We were never supposed to be here. And I really don't think dreams and wishful thinking will bring you back to me." She sighed, her breath shuddering as she struggled to keep the tears from falling again. "I hope the Father forgave you, Phira - I hope you'll find peace in whatever afterlife fallen Angels get. I love you, Phira."

Esmeralda stared a moment longer, hoping that her words would engender a response... just like they always had between them from the moment they'd recognized their bond in their youth. When Saphira remained still and silent, Esmeralda turned on her heel and walked out without a backwards glance.


Chapter XCVIII

"Everything all right?" Charisma asked when Esmeralda climbed back in her SUV. "I mean besides...."

"About like you'd expect," Esmeralda answered wearily. "Thank you for the ride, Charisma."

"Thank you for letting me help, Es. I know it's not much, but I can't not try to do *something*," glancing over to offer Esmeralda a smile, only to find her focus was completely taken by something outside the window. "Es?"

Esmeralda didn't move her gaze, but she responded, "What did you want to talk about, Charisma?"

"Huh?" trying to catch up to Esmeralda's thought process. "Oh!" just as Esmeralda opened her mouth to reply. "You mean when I pulled you away from Matilda and Ruby?" seeing Esmeralda nod. "I was wondering," feeling herself blush. "Why did you say what you did yesterday... to Brianna and me? How did you know?"

"Which do you want to know?" Esmeralda asked, her eyes never moving from the widow.

"I can't know both?" receiving silence as an answer. Charisma sighed. "All right... why?"

"Because you're both acting like jackasses and I'm tired of it."

Charisma pulled to the side of the road and turned the vehicle off. "Excuse me?" more than a little put out with Esmeralda's bluntness. She was a United States Senator - no one spoke to her with such total disregard of who she was... not even her family.

Esmeralda never moved her eyes from whatever they were focused on beyond her sight. "What part do you need me to explain to you, Charisma?" Charisma didn't respond and Esmeralda sighed. "I'm not trying to disrespect you, Senator Tagherty. You asked why - I gave you the truth. If you're completely honest with yourself, you'll see that I'm right."

Charisma sighed loudly and crossed her arms over her chest. "How did you know?" she finally asked, not refuting Esmeralda's previous words, but unwilling to acknowledge the truth of them of the either. "And why do you care... really?" Esmeralda was quiet so long, Charisma sighed again. "Es? Please?"

"I know because you both talk to me... you talk to me when you should be talking to each other." She grew quiet again, but this time Charisma waited, instinctively understanding that whatever Esmeralda had to share was harder... because it probably involved Saphira in some way. After a bit, Esmeralda took a deep breath and continued, though her voice was so low, Charisma was forced to concentrate to understand her words.

"I told you our story - Saphira's and mine," angling her head to so she could see Charisma's agreement. "Your story is similar to ours - including your reactions to the pain you're going through, and it kills me that you're choosing to be miserable."

"Do you understand what you're asking us to risk?"

"Do you understand the reward is worth the risk?"

"You're assuming everything's just going to work out... like it was some kind of freaking faery tale that always has a happy ending!"

"And you're so afraid to be happy that you won't even try!"

There was no more conversation the remainder of the ride back to Esmeralda's.

************

Charisma dropped Esmeralda at home, innately understanding that a little space would be appreciated, and still prickly over Esmeralda's accusations. Besides, it wasn't like there wouldn't be a steady influx of visitors during the day; everyone had sat down together the evening before and worked out a schedule between them to ensure that Esmeralda would have a stream of company throughout the day. So Charisma waited for Esmeralda to close the door behind her after she entered the house, then turned her vehicle towards her home, knowing no one was expecting her back so early, but unable to stay any longer with Esmeralda's words echoing in her ears.

Esmeralda wasn't surprised to find Matilda and Ruby still ensconced in the kitchen when she finally made her way into the room, but she was a bit startled by Amber's presence. Not that Amber didn't have every right to be there or that Esmeralda didn't appreciate it more than she could say, but Amber tended to shy away from interacting with mortals on the Earthly plane. She said it messed with her Guardian mojo, but Esmeralda knew it had more to do with making their punishment too real.

So she smiled slightly when she saw Amber sitting at the table, making small talk with Ruby and Matilda. She walked up behind her and slipped her arms around Amber's neck, whispering "Thank you," softly into her ear. Amber pulled away just enough to look into Esmeralda's eyes, gently cupping her cheek and studying the myriad of emotions swirling through the flat gray.

"Everything okay?" she asked, knowing Esmeralda would understand what she was really asking. Nothing was even close to okay in their lives anymore, but Amber needed to know if something more had happened, or if Esmeralda had somehow overheard Michael's news. Frankly, Amber didn't want to be anywhere near ground zero when Esmeralda made that particular discovery. No one and nothing would be safe.