"No, goofball - thinking outside the box. He believes that any artist - painter, writer, sculptor - has to see beyond what everyone else does to be a true artist."

"Maybe. But it takes real talent to make everyone else appreciate and understand what you're seeing. Some of that?" motioning vaguely with her hands. "I don't think I'll ever get it."

"That's okay - some of that I'd rather not get? ever."

It was quiet for a long time after that and just as Brianna started to fall into a doze, Charisma spoke softly into the darkness.

"I've had a wonderful time on this trip, Brianna. So many good memories."

"For me too, Ri. I will always treasure this time in my life."

Charisma chuckled lightly. "We're acting like this is goodbye forever or something," the thought causing a pang in her heart.

"In a way, it is, sweetie. I'm off to law school for the next three years and you're going to Washington to begin your political career. We'll never have a chance to spend time together like this again. There will always be other responsibilities in our lives from now on."

"Okay? that's it. I no longer want to be an adult. I've decided I'd much rather be a vagabond and wander around the world with you."

Brianna smiled, glad the tears on her cheeks were hidden by the darkness of the room. "That sounds wonderful, Ri. But what of your dream of becoming President? What about that picture perfect family?"

"I told you that family thing was a far-off consideration for me, and I can always be President when I'm forty-five instead of forty."

"Yes, but you know and I know you have to be working on it now or it will be even later or never. You can't get cold feet about it now." She paused when Charisma blew a raspberry in her direction. "How about this? Why don't we plan to do this again - the whole trip from beginning to end - in twenty years? Unless you are President of course. If that's the case, we'll wait until your term's over."

"Why so long?" Charisma whined.

"Because it will take us that long to be able to afford to take three months out of our lives to do this again."

"I hate it when you make sense." She sighed. "All right. Twenty years from now we'll do this again. I'll ask Mama to make the arrangements with our travel agent when I get home. You just make sure you've got the time to take of from your writing career to be there."

"Careful there, Tagherty. You keep it up and I'll be the one writing the 'tell-all' book when you become President."

"Can you do that?? Isn't there some sort of best friend law against that?"

"Not if you keep calling me a writer there isn't."

"Very well, Brianna Walker, Esquire. I expect you to defend me from all comers then when the time comes."

"Yes, Madame President."

************

Their goodbye at the airport the following morning was bittersweet. Brianna was flying directly to law school while Charisma was headed home for a few days before reporting to Washington for the start of her internship. Brianna walked Charisma to her gate and opened her arms, gratified when Charisma stepped into the embrace without a moment's hesitation. The hug lasted for long moments, and they only removed themselves from it when the gate agent started calling for boarding of Charisma's flight.

"I've got to go," she said sadly.

"I know. I'm gonna miss you, cheerleader."

"I'll miss you too, playwright, so much."

They gazed at one another and Charisma started to pull away, turning towards her gate. Brianna held on, throwing caution to the wind and leaning forward to brush her lips against Charisma's. "I'll always love you, Ri. You're my very best friend in the whole world. I never had one of those before you came into my life. Thank you," she whispered, cupping her face tenderly for a minute before releasing Charisma from her touch and leaving without a backwards glance.

Charisma watched her go, then boarded the plane, skin still tingling where Brianna's essence lingered. She wondered why it felt like a forever goodbye.

************

Charisma was right of course - it was a forever goodbye. Brianna realized what was between the two of them and refused to force Charisma to choose. Part of her decision was based in fear - she couldn't bear to see pity or disgust in Charisma's eyes? or worse, a failure to acknowledge the truth. The other part however, was done out of a desire to spare Charisma the agony of deciding between her heart and her mind; her best friend and her career.

Instead, Brianna made the choice and slipped from Charisma's radar with an ease that belied the strength of the ties that bound them together. And Charisma, unwilling to acknowledge her feelings to herself or anyone else, let her go without a fight.

Okasa and Paddy watched helplessly, unable to do more than stand aside and see the two women grow estranged by their own choice. Brianna had demanded they stay out of it, threatening to cut off all contact with them if they didn't. So reluctantly, if only to maintain contact with one they had grown to love as their own, they remained silent but ever hopeful. Until the day Charisma brought Kent Rockwell home.


Chapter VII

Before I take you back to present day Charisma Tagherty, I think I need fill in a few of the blanks.

When Brianna and Charisma returned to the States, Brianna took steps to distance herself from Charisma. The first involved a visit to the Tagherty home as soon as she knew Charisma was in Washington.

************

Okasa opened the door at Brianna's knock, a wide, welcoming smile on her face as she ushered the younger woman inside. "Brianna? this is an unexpected surprise. Come in, come in," opening her arms for a hug. Brianna was happy to oblige, holding onto Okasa tightly and rocking her gently. Okasa felt the trembling in Brianna's frame and pulled back slightly so she could look the younger woman in the eye.

"Brianna? What's wrong, sweetheart?"

Brianna took a deep breath and steadied herself. She had sworn she wouldn't cry, but she'd never expected it to hurt this much. "Can we sit down?"

"Of course, of course. Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, thank you, Mama O. I'm not going to be here very long. I just? I came to say goodbye."

Okasa blinked. "Um? okay. Where are you going and when will you be back?" heart sinking at the look in Brianna's eyes. She suddenly understood what Brianna was saying, but she shook her head against the truth she knew was coming.

"I'm not coming back, Mama O."

Okasa took Brianna by the arm and seated her on the couch, immediately taking a place beside her. She covered Brianna's hands and gazed at her for a long moment, seeing an aching sadness peering back at her. "Talk to me, Little Bri. What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on, Mama. It's just time for me to grow up and I can't?." She trailed off when Okasa shook her head furiously.

"Don't lie to me, Brianna Walker. I know how you feel about Charisma. I've seen it in your eyes? in your actions. And I know how she feels about you."

"Then you know why I have to do this, Okasa."

"No I don't. What you have...."

"What we have Charisma will never acknowledge. She can't... not and be the person she needs to be for her own peace of mind."

"What about her happiness?"

"I don't think they're mutually exclusive. But I'm not willing to hang around and watch her pull away and become more distant because I can no longer hide how I feel. Or worse, have her continue on with her life acting as though nothing is different. I love her, Mama, but I'm not going to become a martyr because of it."

"Brianna, you're not being fair. You're not giving her the chance to choose."

"Okasa, I'm not disappearing from the face of the planet. If she wants to find me, she'll be able to. I'm just taking myself out of the mainstream of her life."

"I'll talk to he...."

"NO! No, Okasa. You and Patrick and the boys have to stay out of this. I mean it - stay out of this or I will disappear. She figures things out on her own or she doesn't - either way it needs to be her decision."

"If we stay out of it, you'll keep in touch?"

"Yes." Brianna took a deep breath and Okasa could see exactly what the decision was costing her. She silently cursed the foolishness and folly of youth, but marveled at Brianna's determination. "I don't want to lose any of you, Mama O. You've become more my family than my family ever was. I'm just can't stand in her way, Mama, and I don't know how much longer I can pretend."

"Can I ask what changed? Brianna, you were roommates for four years. You just spent three months in each other's back pockets touring around Europe."

"Exactly - I just spent three months coming to the realization that I can never have the one thing? the one person? that makes me happy despite everything. I need some space from her, Mama."

"And once you have the space?"

"I can learn how to be happy without her."

"And if she comes looking for you?"

Brianna couldn't stop the tears from coming to her eyes, but she kept them from rolling down her face. She smiled sadly, biting her lip before shaking her head at Okasa. "She won't, Okasa."

"You're sure."

"Yeah. She loves me, but she can't love me. So she'll let me go. It makes everything easier."

"I think you're wrong."

"I hope you're right, Mama O."

************

Of course, Brianna was right. But she was also true to her word and kept in touch with the Tagherty family, spending time with them when Charisma wasn't around. It was sometimes difficult trying coordinate their schedules, but when it became clear that Brianna had been correct about Charisma's reaction, Okasa was determined to ensure Brianna didn't lose touch with them.