Carey put the footrest down and leaned forward. "It wasn't a choice between being gay and being straight. I'm a lesbian and nothing is going to change that. The hard part for me was acknowledging that fact and dealing with it. Now, why are you asking?"

Grace stared at the coffee table. "You said you felt different...like from the other girls?"

“You're answering a question with a question," Carey pointed out. "When I was a teen the latest boy bands didn't send me swooning. My walls were covered with female rockers. I didn't have too many friends over to see my room."

The grains of the table blurred as Grace let her mind drift back. "The first time I saw a naked woman was in a magazine one of my mother's boyfriends left behind." Her heart began pounding. "I kept it hidden in my room and looked at it all the time. It was my little secret. I...I thought there was something wrong with me." She took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "When I think about sex…I think about it with women."

"How long have you felt this way?"

"Since I was thirteen or so," Grace said. "When I found the magazine and started reading the stories and seeing the pictures." She rubbed her hands together. "When other girls were talking about kissing boys, I was thinking about kissing them."

"Have you had sex with a woman?"

Grace shook her head. "No. My cousin and I showed ourselves to each other once but there wasn't any touching."

"Have you had sex with a man?"

The question caught Grace by surprise, causing her to look up at her mentor. "Uh…”

"Be honest with me," Carey said.

"Yes."

"Intercourse?"

Grace looked down, feeling completely ashamed. "Yes." She heard Carey move from the chair and braced herself. Please don't ask me about it tonight. "Um, I have homework."

"The homework can wait," Carey said, sitting on the cushion next to her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

“No.”

“You can talk to me about anything," Carey said.

"I know."

"Grace, how old were you?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Sixteen? Fifteen? Younger?"

Grace stared at the coffee table. "Fifteen."

"What happened?"

The teen shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing important."

"It affected you," Carey said, her voice understanding and gentle. "It is important."

"Please."

Several seconds passed before she heard Carey let out a deep breath. "All right, Grace. I told you I'm not in the mood to dodge chairs tonight. I'm here if you want to talk."

"Can...may I ask you another question?"

"What?" Carey asked softly.

"Do you think…if I told my dad how I feel…” Grace closed her eyes. "Do you think he'd still love me?" She felt a hand rest gently on her shoulder.

"I think any man that carries that many pictures of his daughter in his wallet will love her no matter what," Carey said. "What do you think?"

Grace swallowed hard. "He told me he'd love me no matter what but he didn't want me to become a porn star or anything like that."

Carey gave a soft snort. "I wouldn't want you to become one either," she said, giving the teen's shoulder a quick squeeze before withdrawing her hand. "He loves you, Grace. I know that."

"Maybe I'll talk to him about it when he comes to visit."

"You should," Carey said. "Your father seems to be a very understanding man. Now, any more questions?"

Grace shook her head. "No, I guess not."

"All right." Carey went back to the recliner.

"Well, not really."

"Grace..." Carey pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. "I've had a really hard day."

"I'm sorry. I just..." She looked up at Carey. "Well, I just wondered if you needed to talk."

"Probably," Carey said. "But it would be entirely inappropriate to do it with you. You know that."

"I know," Grace said. "If you wanted to call someone or something, I could go to the rec room for a while. I'd just need a flashlight to see my way back."

Carey shook her head. "You have homework to do."

Grace rose to her feet. "My homework's done and I don't mind, really."

"Promise you'll stay out of trouble?" Carey asked.

"I swear," Grace said.

Carey rubbed her face and nodded. 'There's a flashlight in the junk drawer."

"Okay." Grace walked into the kitchen. "Do you want the phone?"

"I can get it."

"It's okay. I'm out here already." Grace picked up the phone, noting how loose the base was on the wall. "Um, I think you pulled out the screws."

"I'm sure I did," Carey said. "I'll fix it tomorrow."

Taking the flashlight from the drawer, Grace returned to the living room and handed the phone to Carey, their fingers briefly touching. "Here you go," she said. "I'll be back by lights out."

"You don't have to stay away that long," Carey said as she began pressing buttons on the phone.

"I don't mind." Grace looked at the empty spot on the mat, realizing only then that she was still wearing her sneakers. Glad she didn't notice, she thought.

"I'd rather you weren't out that late by yourself. No more than—oh, hi, Mom, hold on." Carey looked at her. "No more than an hour."

"Okay." Grace opened the door and stepped outside, causing the motion sensor to turn on the outside light. She could hear Carey talking on the phone but was unable to make out the words. At least you have someone you can talk to, even if it isn't me. Your mom, huh? She shook her head and turned on the flashlight. Last person I'd talk to about my problems is my mother. She began walking down the path, the light just enough for her to see where she was going. So Carey's a lesbian. She smiled broadly-at the thought. I know what I'll be doing after lights out tonight. Then again, why wait? I'm all alone out here. Nah, with my luck I'd get poison ivy on my ass or something. She grinned devilishly at the thought of lying over Carey's lap while calamine lotion was applied. Oh, it'd be worth it. Then again, she'd probably just send me to the nurse instead and I don't want those cold hands on my ass. She kept walking, toying with the fantasy in her mind until she reached the rec room.

"No, I promised Instructor Carey I'd be back in an hour," Grace said apologetically. "We both have first period free tomorrow. We can have a rematch then."

"You're on, girlfriend," Latisha said, walking with Grace as far as the barracks. "I'll see ya tomorrow."

"Bright and early," Grace said. "You know Gage is doing PT tomorrow."

"She'd better be in a better mood than yesterday," Latisha said. "She needs a Midol sandwich."

Grace chuckled and began walking away. She had barely cleared the asphalt and entered the trail when she heard the crack of a twig. Pretending not to notice, she turned on the flashlight and began walking, listening carefully to the sounds around her. When the person behind her rushed at her, Grace was ready, ducking to the side and tripping her assailant. Grenner. Shining the flashlight in the larger girl's eyes, Grace darted around her and ran up the trail.

"That's right, run you fucking coward!" Grenner's voice echoed in the darkness. "You know I'll kick your ass if I catch you."

Shutting off the flashlight, Grace stood still and listened for any sound of pursuit. You're out of your mind if you think I'm going to get into a fight with you tonight. Carey has enough on her mind. Confident she was alone, she turned the light back on and made her way to the cabin.

When she entered the cabin Grace was surprised not to see Carey in either the living room or kitchen. "Carey?"

"Be out in a minute," the older woman said from the bedroom. "Okay." Grace took off her sneakers and set them by the door, then went to her footlocker and pulled out her sleeping shorts and shirt. Tossing the clothes on the couch, she unbuttoned her shirt and was just removing it when the bedroom door opened and Carey stepped out.

"Did you have fun?"

Grace held her hand out and wiggled it. "Ah, I beat Latisha in ping pong but other than that it was pretty boring."

"What happened to your shirt?"

"Huh?"

Carey took the shirt from Grace's hand and showed her the stain near the left shoulder, brushing off some of the loose dirt. "What happened?"

"I tripped?"

Sighing, Carey pointed at the floor. "Drop."

Damn. Walking over to the empty space between the living room and kitchen, Grace lowered herself to the floor and began doing pushups. As she did, she watched Carey take the soiled shirt into the kitchen. "How many?"

"Ten, then you can come here and tell me the truth," her mentor said. "You know you're very hard on your clothes?"

"I don't mean to be." Doing the last two pushups, she stood up. "Oh, I can take care of it," she said when she saw Carey pre-treating the dirt stain.

"You can finish getting changed," Carey said. "Right after you tell me what really happened."

"I was coming back from the rec room and Grenner jumped me," she said. "I tripped her and ran away. That's all."

"That's all? Did you two exchange blows?"

"No. She tried to get me from behind and I tripped her. Once she was on the ground I took off." Seeing that Carey had her back to her. Grace quickly peeled off her undershirt and bra, replacing them with the white tee shirt used for sleeping. "Please don't say anything."

"She attacked you and you don't want me to do anything about it?" Carey asked as she put the shirt in the washer.