“All right, settle down," Carey said as the girls entered the classroom. "Open your books, get those pens out and plug your brains in." Sitting on her desk, she waited for silence. "I've decided to make life easy on you." She noted the smiles on her charges, then continued. "You're still having your test next class, but I've made half of the answers multiple choice." Twenty teen faces drooped. "Now that I've made your day, let's talk about chapter twelve. What's the point of case history number six, the college student and the party?" She looked around, deciding who would be her first victim. "Bowen?"
"She took a chance and lost, ma'am."
"Well, that's one way to put it," Carey said. "Waters."
"She had unprotected sex just once, ma'am."
"Just once and she contracted HIV," Carey said. "What was her reasoning behind having sex without a condom, let's see...Jones."
"He said he didn't have.one, ma'am."
"Think that's a good enough reason?"
"No, ma'am," several girls answered.
"Why not? Campbell."
"She could have carried some with her if she was planning on getting laid, ma'am."
"She could," Carey agreed. "What was her other reason? Rosetti."
"He didn't look like someone who would have any diseases, ma'am."
"That's right, if someone is carrying HIV, it's obvious, right?"
"No, ma'am."
"So because she was horny and he looked good, she played Russian Roulette with her life and lost," Carey said. "All for the cost of a condom. At least then she would have had a fighting chance. Campbell, since you think it's all right to have sex with strangers as long as you carry condoms, would using a condom have made her completely safe?"
"Mostly, ma'am."
"Believing that a condom will protect you is like believing that an umbrella is going to protect you from the rain," Carey said. "It tears, it rolls off, certain lubricants can weaken or even dissolve the latex, and of course the best is Prince Charming takes it off before entry because he doesn't like the way it feels. So what's the answer?" She looked around, noticing every girl found great interest in the floor or wall with the hopes that she would not call upon them. "Bowen, why don't you enliven us with one of your witty answers?"
"Stock up on batteries, ma'am?"
Carey waited for the giggling to die down. "That's actually one of your better answers," she said. "Certainly in hindsight Jane would have chosen masturbation over anonymous sex."
"Kinda hard with thirty-three other people in the room," Rosetti said.
"Not that it stops you," Jan said.
"Eew," Latisha said. "That's disgusting."
"All right," Carey said. "Cut the cross talk. Jones, it's perfectly natural to masturbate, though there are appropriate times and places."
Grace looked down at her textbook, knowing that was one of the benefits of not living in the barracks. She was lucky the couch did not have metal springs that could squeak and give her away on the rare occasions when the need had arisen. It certainly made things easier for her despite the fear of being discovered.
"And as far as Bowen's answer is concerned," Carey continued. "Remember that rechargeable batteries or plug-in models are better for the environment." Several girls giggled and a few made buzzing sounds until she held her hands up for them to settle down. "It's safer than exposing yourself to someone else's sex life."
When the question formed in her mind as it so naturally would, Grace found she could not look at Carey's face, embarrassed to even think of it. She doesn't. She can't. She goes right to sleep, every night. Could she? With me in the next room? No way.
"Waters."
"Yes, ma'am," she said, looking at the instructor's hair and not her face for fear she would blush and give her thoughts away.
"Back to the original question, if condoms alone cannot protect you from a sexually transmitted disease, what can you do to protect yourself?"
"Know your partner's sexual history, ma'am?"
"You need more than that," Carey said. "You'd need to know the history of everyone your partner has had sex with and who they've had sex with and on and on. Try again."
"Um…I can't think of anything except being with a virgin, ma'am," Grace said.
"Like you'll find a guy who is," Rosetti said.
"And even if you did, who'd want him?" Campbell added. "He wouldn't know what to do."
"They don't know what to do no matter how much experience they have," Jan said.
"Before this gets out of hand," Carey said. 'The only way to truly protect yourself is to have both of you take a physical as well as blood tests to check for HIV or other diseases, then stay abstinent during the required period thereafter to take a second test."
"Like any guy is going to wait," Mo said.
"It's your choice to take chances with your life," Carey said. "If you're planning on spending a life with him, a few weeks shouldn't make a difference and if he respects you, he'll wait." She shrugged. "If he doesn't...well, what does that say about him?"
"What?"
"I didn't say anything," Grace said, making sure she looked down at the book in her lap.
"Grace, you've been looking over here at me every ten seconds for the last five minutes," Carey said, closing her book and removing her reading glasses. "Now either you want to talk to me about something or I've grown horns out of the top of my head. Which is it?"
Caught, Grace tried to think of a tactful way to ask her question. "I was just thinking about something you said in class today," she said. "It's not important."
"If it wasn't important, you wouldn't be fidgeting like you have ants in your pants," Carey said.
"I don't know how to say it," Grace admitted, feeling the blush creeping up her neck. "It's...embarrassing."
"Ah, I take it your question has something to do with Sexual Responsibility and not Self-Defense." Carey leaned forward in her seat. "What's your question, Grace?"
"Well..." Just say it. "You were talking about-about masturbation," she said, blushing hotly. "And well…I was wondering..." Grace found she could not look the instructor in the eyes and focused her gaze on the coffee table. "You said it was natural and there's nothing wrong with it."
"I'm glad you were paying attention," Carey said. "It's perfectly normal to masturbate. My grandmother used to say, now mind you she was a product of the thirties and forties, but she used to say better to get a little sauce on the hand than a bun in the oven."
"You mean pregnant," Grace said, receiving a clarifying nod. "So everyone does it?"
Carey shrugged. "I don't know about everyone, but I bet most people do from time to time."
"Do you?" It was the question that insisted on coming out and once it did, Grace would have given anything to take it back. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't ask that."
Carey put her hands on the armrests and pushed back, forcing the foot of the recliner to rise. "I think that's rather personal, don't you?"
Grace shook her head. "Forget I said anything. I'm sorry."
"Grace, look at me." Carey's face was understanding and kind with no trace of censure. "I don't want you to be embarrassed about sex, but your question did catch me off guard. I don't think anyone has ever asked me that before. But for your information only, and I don't want to hear about it in the teenage grapevine, yes." Grace remained silent, prompting Carey to ask, "Was that all you wanted to know?"
"Um, yeah, I guess so."
Grace adjusted the pressure and temperature, then stepped into the shower stall. The water pressure in Carey's cabin was higher than in the barracks, a fact that Grace was sure only she could appreciate. Of course, she could only appreciate it when Carey had evening duty, lest the instructor question why she was spending so long in the shower. Leaning against the wall, she set her left foot on the corner seat, exposing herself to the pulsing water. Oh Carey, you should try this, she thought, adjusting herself to get just the right angle for the pulsing bursts of water. Then again, maybe you already do. Closing her eyes, Grace conjured up her faceless woman, always ready and willing to do her bidding. The sensation was different from her fingers, making it easy for her to imagine her faceless lover kneeling between her legs and pleasuring her. That's it, lick it, she silently bade her fantasy woman. Oh, this feels so good. A low groan escaped her throat as she held herself open to the pulsing water. Eyes shut tight, she envisioned a dark head just beyond her fingers, her pleasure giver suddenly becoming less of a blur. Flashes of Carey playing around with her in the lake, holding her on the rappelling wall, on top of her in Self-Defense, and just hanging around in the cabin all flashed through her mind as the sensation became too intense and she tumbled over the edge. "Oh God," she gasped, sliding down along the shower wall until she was sitting. Water pelted her face and hair while she gave herself time to recover. Carey? The woman that loves to drop me for ten every chance she can get? Grace shook her head. Oh no. I cannot think of her like that. I have to live with her. I can't be thinking about what she looks like naked. She thought back to the day at the lake. I bet she's got nice ones, nice and big and suckable. No no no, absolutely not. Still she could not deny the erotic thrill that shot through her veins at the thought of Carey kneeling between her legs.
"Name please?" Instructor Donaldson asked, pen and clipboard ready.
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