Grace shrugged. "I should have known better. Nothing ever goes right for me."

"That's not true," Carey said. "You're here, and while I know you think this is a punishment, you can turn it into an opportunity to make your life better." She walked to the doorway. "You've already made some significant changes, even if you can't see them yourself. And asking about the SAT and GED shows you finally care about your future." She lightly tapped the doorframe with her knuckles. "You're making progress, Grace. Don't let this set you back."

Grace took her seat in the loose circle of chairs, finding herself between Christine and Instructor Gage. I knew I should have got here early. "Hey," she said to the overweight teen next to her.

"Hi, Grace."

"All right, girls," Gage said. "Let's settle down and get started. We left off last time talking about how to recognize your buttons. Often it is those closest to us that, whether intentional or not, press the most and the biggest buttons. Waters, who pushes your buttons the most?"

"No one, ma'am."

"Really?" Gage turned her chair so she was facing Grace more than anyone else. "You think no one can push your buttons?"

"Not anymore, ma'am," Grace said, knowing she'd just made a challenge but determined to win.

"You're sure you want to go there, Waters?" Gage asked.

"Yes, ma'am."

"What about your mother? Does she push your buttons?"

"No, ma'am," Grace said, looking down at the deep green carpet.

"She never says anything to upset you?"

"No, ma'am."

"Never does anything to upset you?"

Grace hesitated, sensing where Instructor Gage was going. "Sometimes but it doesn't matter anymore, ma'am."

"Really? Why?"

"Because I'm not going to see her anymore, ma'am."

"You're going to cut your mother out of your life? Must be a good reason."

"Doesn't matter, ma'am." Come on, move on to someone else.

"Obviously your mother did something to push your buttons. What was it?"

"I'd rather not say, ma'am."

"You don't get that choice in here, Waters," Gage said. "What did she do?"

"She decided to marry a jerk, ma'am," Grace said, not wanting to use the real name she had for him and risk earning pushups.

"And why is he a jerk?"

"He...he just is, ma'am."

"Why?"

"Because..." Grace curled her hands into fists. "He lies and she believes him, ma'am."

"Did she believe him over you?"

Grace stared hard at the carpet. "Yes, ma'am."

"And you're feeling anger at her now?"

Grace's nostrils flared. "Yes, ma'am."

"What did he lie about?" Grace shook her head, jaw clenched. "Answer me."

"It's not important, ma'am," she said through gritted teeth.

"It's worth cutting your mother out of your life because she believes a lie he told her about something that's not important?"

"He lied and she believed him," Grace said. "That's all that matters, ma'am."

"Watch that tone with me, young lady," Gage said.

"Sorry, ma'am."

"Parents can make mistakes, believe the wrong person," Gage said as Grace continued to stare at the carpet. "Beneath the anger you're showing there's a little girl who's hurting very badly right now."

Don't listen, don't think about it, don't...Grace flinched when she felt the instructor's hand on her back.

"It's all right to talk about it in here, Grace. What happened?"

"It doesn't matter, ma'am." Don't think, don't feel.

"It does matter."

"No it doesn't!" Grace screamed. "It could have been about anything. I told the truth, he lied, and she believed him. Nothing else matters." She took a deep breath. "Ma'am."

"You think that's going to save you?" Gage asked. "Unclench those fists, relax that jaw and you get yourself calmed down," she said. "You have no reason to blow up at me. You can think about that while you do ten pushups after class."

"Fuck," Grace said under her breath when she saw Gage and Carey talking. "I'm dead."

"What'd you do?" Jan asked.

"Blew up in AM," Grace said. "Bet she's telling Carey all about it."

"That's the problem with staying with them," Jan said. "Gage does a mentoring session on me every friggin' night."

"She's gonna grill me worse than the cops do when they got a murder suspect," Grace said, dropping her fork on her tray. "I'm going to be doing pushups until my arms break." Grace looked down quickly when brown eyes turned in her direction. "What are they doing?" she whispered.

"Coming this way," Jan said. "You're bacon, my friend."

"Thanks," Grace sighed, readying herself for an earful of angry instructor.

"Waters, pick up your tray and come with me," Carey said.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good luck," Jan said.

Grace followed Carey to the trash bin where she dumped the rest of her dinner, then set the tray on top with the others. "You can start talking at any time," Carey said, opening one of the double doors.

The sooner I talk, the sooner you'll drop me for ten or twenty.

"We have three hours until lights out," Carey said.

"I don't have anything to say, ma'am."

"Really? Hmm, sounded like you had a great deal to say in AM today."

I knew Gage would tell her. "Not that much, ma'am."

"What did he lie about?"

"I don't want to talk about it, ma'am."

“You're only making it harder on yourself, Grace. We want to help you but we can't if we don't know what's going on."

"He hit me, ma'am."

"How?"

Grace shrugged. "With his hand if he could reach me. Throwing something if he couldn't." That's it. Stay focused on that. She doesn't have to know about anything else.

"And your mother didn't believe you? She had to have seen the marks."

"Oh, she believed he hit me," Grace said. "She also believed his reasons why I deserved it, ma'am."

"Why didn't you say this in AM?"

Because all I could think about was him standing there saying he didn't touch me. Hitting me didn't seem that important. "I...I guess I was too angry to talk about it, ma'am." Looking up, she realized they were at the cabin.

"Have a seat," Carey said, gesturing at the steps. "Since you're calmer now, start talking."

Grace sat down and stared at the path. "He's a bum. Sits around saying he's disabled and collecting checks when he really is just a jerk who smokes his weed and watches TV." She glanced out of the corner of her eye at Carey. "Oh yeah, he sits right there in the living room with his pot and his pipe."

"So your mother knew about it?"

"She knew," Grace said. "My mother deals with things by ignoring them and hoping they'll go away."

"Did he ever offer any to you?"

"First time I got high was with him," Grace said.

"Is he where you got the marijuana you were caught with?"

Grace nodded. "But I could have gotten it anywhere, you know. It's not like it's hard to find."

"Do you smoke a lot of it?"

"Well, not lately," she said, gesturing around her. "I know what you mean. When he first moved in he let me smoke with him every day after school before Mom got home from work. I stopped smoking with him after a while but he left baggies in my room so I still had some. But after he left, I only smoked it if someone gave it to me."

“You're smart enough to know that numbing your feelings doesn't make them go away," Carey said. "You're also smart enough to know how easily drugs can mess up your life or even take it away altogether if they're abused."

"I know," Grace said. But it was the only way to deal with him.

"There are other ways to numb yourself," Carey said. "Hiding behind your anger and pushing people away are two that you excel at. Someone touches a sensitive subject with you and you resort to anger or violence to get the subject changed. Sound familiar, Miss I Like Throwing Chairs at Teachers?"

Grace looked down. "Yes, ma'am."

Carey smiled. "Oh, you do remember the word, don't you?" Grace went to move but stopped when she saw her mentor's upraised hand. "Sit. Obviously you think the rules for the steps are the same as inside the cabin and I'm not in the mood to watch you do pushups." She rested her wrists on her knees. "I'm more interested in what's going on in that head of yours."

"Nothing, ma'am," Grace said, deciding it was better not to push her liberty.

"I can see the gears turning from here," Carey said. "I get the feeling you're being selective about what you're telling me. Grace, did anything else happen when you were alone with him?"

"No, ma'am," she said, her gaze focused on a stone near the bottom step. Oh, please change the subject.

"Did he ever touch you sexually?"

"No, ma'am." Don't look at her.

"You know it's safe to tell me if he did."

"Yes, ma'am."

There was an agonizing silence as Grace waited for the instructor to speak. "All right, enough of this," Carey said as she stood up. "I'm hungry and you have homework to do. You can apologize to Instructor Gage tomorrow."

"Yes, ma'am." Grace waited a second, then followed her into the cabin. She went straight to her class books and started her homework in the hopes the conversation would not be continued.

"You threw out half of your dinner," Carey said from the kitchen. "Did you have enough to eat?"

Grace shrugged. "I don't care for macaroni and cheese."