Philippa Carr - Gossamer Cord

“I have never known her be, especially where her charges were concerned.”

“And with a child already sick. Doesn’t it sound strange to you? I wish you weren’t staying there.”

“Where else should I stay?”

“I mean it’s a pity you can’t take the child to your mother. But that is not entirely true, for if you did, what about me?”

“You?”

“Think how desolate I should be if I could not see you.”

“Would you be?”

“It is not like you to ask foolish questions when you know the answer.”

I did not reply, and nothing was said for a few moments.

I ate a little of the salmon which had been placed before me, and I felt happier than I had for some time. Tristan’s quick recovery had lifted my spirits and I always had enjoyed Jowan’s company.

He said at length: “Have you made any plans as to what you are going to do?”

I shook my head. “I am still uncertain about everything.”

“Something might be decided for us before long,” he said.

I looked at him questioningly and he went on: “I mean what is happening abroad.”

“Does that involve us?”

“There is a possibility that it will. The way things are going, perhaps I should say a certainty. Do you like the food here?”

“Very much.”

“We might come again. I often have to come this way.”

He talked to me about the farm at which we should call. There was some question about building another barn.

“It won’t take long. I thought you might like to see something of the estate.”

It was an interesting afternoon. I chatted to the farmer’s wife while Jowan was with her husband, and heard what a good landlord he was to his tenant farmers.

“Couldn’t be better,” she said. “We’re lucky to be on the Jermyn estate. ’Tis not so good over at Tregarland’s. Oh, sorry, Miss, I forgot you came from there. It was terrible about your poor sister, and I heard the little one’s been poorly.”

So it had already spread as far as this.

We rode back the way we had come. I felt better than I had since I lost Dorabella.

When I said goodbye, he took my hand and looked at me intently.

“Take care,” he said. “Especial care.” An almost imperceptible frown crossed his face as he went on: “Remember, I am not far away.”

“Comforting thought,” I replied lightly, but I meant it.

SUMMER WAS ALMOST WITH us. Richard wrote now and then, but he did not suggest paying another visit to Cornwall. My mother also wrote. She wondered whether there was any hope of my coming to Caddington. I could travel with the baby and Nanny Crabtree quite easily now, she was sure. She herself was going to London frequently since the birth of Gretchen’s baby—a little girl whom they had called Hildegarde.

It was June. I had paid another visit to Mrs. Pardell. She seemed quite pleased to see me. She was obsessed by the belief that Dermot had murdered both his wives and nothing would shift her. She thought he had strangled them, carried them out of the house, and thrown them into the sea.

“There was no sign of strangulation on Annette’s body when they found her,” I protested. “If there had been, it would have been quickly noticed.”

“She had been in the sea all those days, hadn’t she?” insisted Mrs. Pardell.

“I think the evidence would still be there.”

Nothing would convince her, but she said it was nice to talk to somebody about it. “And you lost your sister, I lost my daughter. It links us…if you know what I mean.”

I felt faintly depressed after my visit to her.

I was seeing Jowan more frequently. He introduced me to Joe Tregarth who was his manager. He was clearly devoted to Jowan. He told me it was a pity Jowan had not come into the property before and that it was a pleasure to work for someone who knew what he was about.

Whenever I went into the town I was aware of the looks which came my way. True, there was slightly less interest than there had been because the mystery of Dorabella’s disappearance was becoming stale news, yet I was still part of one of those old legends which would be revived every now and then.

I found a morbid fascination in the gardens. I used to sit there in the afternoons and look over the beach thinking of Dorabella. I pictured her again and again, going down there that morning, plunging into the cold water and being lost forever. But I could not believe it happened like that.

It was late afternoon. I had been sitting there for about half an hour when I heard footsteps descending and, to my surprise, I saw Gordon Lewyth coming toward me.

“Good afternoon,” he said. “You come here often, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“May I sit with you?”

The seat was a stone ledge cut out of the rock. There was room for about four people on it.

He sat down. “It doesn’t make you happy, does it, sitting here?” he said. “It brings it all back.”

“Yes. I suppose you are right.”

“And yet…you find it irresistible.”

“I cannot understand it at all,” I told him. “That my sister should suddenly start bathing in the morning. It would be decidedly chilly, and she was never the Spartan type.”

“People have strange fancies.”

“I cannot believe that she is dead.”

“But she has gone, hasn’t she?”

“Her body has never been washed up.”

“That does not mean she is alive. Some are never seen again. She could have been washed out to sea…or lying on the ocean bed.”

I shivered.

He said: “I’m sorry. But I reckon the sooner you face up to the fact that she has gone, the better. You’ll start to get over it then. You’d be better away from here.”

“Yes, I think so. But I could not go without Tristan.”

“I don’t think he will be allowed to go.”

“I understand that he belongs to this place, but Dermot would not stop his going.”

“Dermot is in a mood to be indifferent about everything at the moment.”

“It was such a tragedy for him.”

“As for you. I think you would be happier with your parents. You’re brooding here. You can’t escape from it.”

“If only I could take Tristan…”

“The child has to stay here. His grandfather insists on that.”

“And I have promised my sister to look after him if she were not here to do so.”

“Did she have a premonition that she might not be?”

“She must have had.”

“That’s very strange.”

“So many strange things have happened.”

“It is the interpretation which is put on them. We Cornish are by nature superstitious. I wonder why. Perhaps because we have had a harder life than some. The population is made up of fishermen and miners—both hazardous occupations. When there are fatal accidents at sea or in the mines these legends are born. They will tell you that the knackers who live underground are the ghosts of those who murdered Jesus Christ. There have been many who have said they have seen them. ‘The size of a sixpenny doll,’ one man told me. I imagine a sixpenny doll in the old days might have been about six inches high—dressed like an old tinner, which is what they call miners in these parts. Miners had to leave what they called a ‘didjan,’ which was part of their lunch for the knackers, otherwise they could expect trouble. Imagine the hardship for those who found difficulty in providing their own frugal meal.”

“You know a great deal about the old legends and customs.”

“One picks it up over the years, and I have lived here all my life…though not in this house, of course. I am not one of the family.”

“I thought there was a distant connection.”

He hesitated for a moment, then smiled wryly.

“Oh, there might be. I was telling you about the legends. It is the dangerous occupations. People think of ill luck that could befall them. They talk of black dogs and white hares seen at the mineshafts which are a warning of approaching evil. You must understand that people who are often facing danger look for signs. Now they say that Jermyns and Tregarlands should never have become friendly and, because they have, there will be disaster.”

“Do they really think that my sister’s death is due to that?”

“I am sure they do. They will say that someone brought about this evil.”

“Myself!” I cried.

He nodded and looked at me in an odd sort of way.

“They say it is not right that foreigners should come here and meddle with something that has been going on for generations.”

“Foreigners!”

“Born the wrong side of the Tamar,” he said with a smile.

“That is all ridiculous.”

“Of course. But it is what they believe.”

“But that feud, it’s so absurd. You think so. Everyone with any sense would. Mr. Jermyn does, too.”

“But there are many who don’t. They love their old superstitions. They don’t want them changed. The miners and fishermen don’t. They fear the mines and the sea. Look at the sea now. Do you see that ruffling of the waves? There are a number of what we call white horses. It’s quite rough down there.”

“The wind has sprung up while I have been sitting here.”

“It is very treacherous…unpredictable.” He moved slightly toward me. “It can be smooth, inviting, and then suddenly the wind arises. You haven’t seen what a real storm can be like yet. You haven’t seen fearsome waves…forty-…fifty-feet-high waves. They can lash against the rocks. It is like an enraged monster. Oh, yes, you must be very careful of the sea.”

I felt his eyes on me as he went on: “There is danger down there. Even in this garden. Just imagine if you should lose your footing—a loose stone, a shifting of the earth. It happens. You could go hurtling down…down onto those black rocks.”