Maya Banks - Giving In

She snuck a peek in Jensen’s direction only to find warm understanding burning in his dark eyes. If he’d looked at her any other way she likely would have chickened out. But it was that understanding that enabled her to go the rest of the way.

He saw to the heart of her. Knew how hard it was for her to bare herself in front of him. It made her all the more determined not to let her fears win.

Before she could back down, she yanked off her bra and pulled off her panties. Then she crawled back on the bed, kneeling beside him before finally meeting his gaze again.

“Touch yourself,” he murmured. “Pleasure yourself. Let me watch you make yourself come.”

Her eyes widened. For a moment she was at a complete loss.

“Cup your breasts. Hold them up for me and then touch your nipples. Figure out what feels good to you and then do more of that,” he encouraged.

Seduced by his husky tone and his eagerness for her to be pleased, she slowly slid her hands up her belly to cup her breasts, plumping them outward. She brushed her thumbs across the sensitive peaks, gasping at the electrical shock that seemed to jolt through her body.

“Now imagine me sucking them,” he said in a low voice. “My mouth around them, my tongue licking them.”

She closed her eyes and moaned, getting into the spirit of his seduction.

“Now put your hand between your legs,” he directed. “Spread your folds, show me that pretty pussy. But keep your other hand on your breast and play with your nipple.”

Keeping her eyes closed, not wanting to break the spell, she slipped one hand down her belly and in between her thighs. She shivered as her fingers slipped over her clit, and then, as he’d directed, she spread herself, pulling upward so he could see.

“Beautiful,” he murmured. “Touch yourself, baby. Make yourself come. Come for me.”

She let out a soft moan as she began to touch herself, finding the perfect rhythm. She arched upward, unable to sit still. She undulated her hips as she continued to exert pressure on her clit, rolling it beneath her middle finger.

“That’s it,” he encouraged. “Make yourself feel good, Kylie. God, you’re beautiful. So beautiful.”

His voice was smooth and sensual, heightening her pleasure, taking her higher and higher, closer to the edge of bliss.

She could feel the stirrings of something truly wonderful. Her body tightened. Her breasts grew even more sensitive. Every touch. Every breath. Her womb clenched, her pussy clenched. And still she climbed even higher, getting closer and closer with every touch, with every word that came out of Jensen’s mouth.

She threw back her head with abandon, feeling wild and exotic. This wasn’t her. She’d become someone else entirely. Someone sexy, a seductress. Someone in control of her sexuality.

Never had she felt so . . . free. Unburdened. Here, nothing could touch her. Nothing could hurt or frighten her. There was only her and Jensen. And her deepest, most intoxicating fantasies.

“So fucking beautiful,” Jensen murmured.

She opened her eyes and locked gazes with him, suddenly unafraid and uninhibited. She wanted to share this with him.

“Come for me, baby. Show me your pleasure. Let me taste it.”

She slid her fingers inside her, capturing some of her moisture, and then she held out her fingers to his mouth. He sucked her finger inside, tugging at it with the suction. He licked her finger clean and let out a growl of satisfaction.

She quickly returned her fingers to her clit because she was close. So very close. And she didn’t want to lose the edge.

Faster, harder. She exerted firmer pressure and then threw back her head again, finally reaching for it. Embracing it. Letting go.

She cried out, shivering violently as her orgasm rose and broke like a huge wave. She fell forward, panting, her palms bracing her on the bed.

And suddenly she wanted Jensen’s arms around her. Wanted him touching her. Wanted his strength. Wanted to feel safe.

She tugged at his bonds, nearly too weak to untie the knots. As soon as one hand was free, he turned and worked the other hand loose, seemingly as desperate as she was to get his arms around her.

She dove into his embrace, uncaring that they were both naked. He wouldn’t hurt her. He’d made the ultimate sacrifice. For her. He’d never hurt her. She knew that.

“Just hold me,” she whispered. “Please. I need you.”

“I won’t let you go,” he vowed. “I’ll hold you as long as you want, Kylie. As long as you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

JENSEN lay awake, Kylie snuggled tightly against his body, content and as relaxed as he’d ever been. He knew the enormity of what had happened tonight and he couldn’t contain the thrill coursing through his veins. Kylie was his. He didn’t fool himself into thinking this was a cure-all and that they didn’t have plenty of obstacles still to overcome. But for the first time, he was at peace, and hope was alive in his heart and mind.

He stroked a hand down the length of Kylie’s body, simply enjoying the feel of her in his arms. Naked, beautiful, warm and sated.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “For what you gave me tonight. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you, for a man like you, I mean. But I’ll never forget this, Jensen. I can’t even put into words what this meant to me.”

His chest tightened and he struggled to find the words around the knot in his throat.

“It was the easiest thing I’ve ever done,” he said. And it was the absolute truth. Giving up control to this woman had been a no-brainer. She was worth every sacrifice. “Giving control to you was worth every bit, Kylie. I don’t want you to ever worry that I’ll regret it or grow to resent you for it. I’m willing to give you control for as long as you need. Forever, if that’s what it takes for us to be together. If the end result is having you in my arms just like now, then I’ll do whatever it takes to achieve that.”

“I love you,” she whispered, shocking him to the core with her declaration. “I know it’s too soon. I’ve battled with myself over whether what I was feeling was love. I’ve made myself crazy worrying, but I don’t want to worry anymore. I just want to feel, and my life has been a study in not feeling anything at all. Not risking being hurt by allowing myself to feel. But what I feel when I’m with you is love. I’m certain of it. It can’t be anything else. Nothing else could feel this wonderful. I’ve never loved anyone else. Not like this, I mean. Just Carson and Chessy and Joss, of course, but what I feel for you in no way compares to how I feel about them. It scares me but at the same time it just feels . . . right.”

He gathered her more tightly in his arms, closing his eyes at the sudden swell of emotion that punched a hole in his chest. The courage it must have taken for her to say those words, especially after taking such a huge leap by trusting him to be intimate with her, was mind-boggling.

He was awed by the precious gift lying in his arms. Overcome by the fact that this brave, courageous woman loved him. He didn’t feel worthy of her love or her trust, but God, he wanted both. He wanted her with every breath in his body. He needed her like he needed air to breathe. She was the air he breathed. She’d so quickly become his reason to be. And he knew he’d never feel complete again without her. That he loved her unreservedly. That what he felt for her in no way came close to what he’d felt for anyone else in his life.

He stroked her hair, trying to compose himself. He didn’t want to mess this up. It was too important. She’d placed her trust, her faith and her well-being solidly in his hands and he wouldn’t fail her.

“I love you too, baby. So much. If you believe nothing else, believe that. I think I’ve loved you from the very first moment I laid eyes on you.”

She turned her face up from where it was buried in his chest and met his gaze, tears shimmering in those beautiful eyes.

“What are we going to do, Jensen? I know tonight was a huge step, but I know we have so many other issues to face. I don’t want to ever cause problems between us. I want your love. I need it. I never thought I’d want or need this connection to a man and it caught me by surprise. I was blindsided by you. You snuck up on me when I wasn’t looking and suddenly you were there—here,” she amended, placing her hand over her heart. “I don’t want to mess this up.”

He kissed her furrowed brow, trying to ease the strain that was so evident. Her words and expression were so earnest. So heartbreakingly vulnerable. He never wanted her to feel fear when she was with him, but some things were out of his control. He, who was used to absolute control in all aspects of his life, had to accept that when it came to this woman he was in no way in control of anything at all.

“It won’t be easy,” he said truthfully. “But nothing good or worthwhile is ever easy. We’ll work at it together. United, we can conquer anything. I want you to have faith in that. And the other thing you need to know is that I’m not going anywhere. No matter how hard it gets, no matter how difficult things may be, I’m here to stay and I’m never giving up on you or us.”

Tears glittered more brightly, clinging to her eyelashes, and finally slid soundlessly down her cheeks. He thumbed one away with a gentle touch, his heart aching at the fear and uncertainty in both her eyes and words.

“I won’t give up either,” she quietly vowed. “Don’t let me run, Jensen. Don’t let me hide from you—us. It’s what I do best. When things get sticky, I retreat, I run, and I stick my head in the sand where I know it’s safe. Don’t give up on me. I’ll try never to hurt you. I need you to believe that I want this. I want you and I want there to be an us.”