Maya Banks - Giving In

She shook her head. “No. I’m jittery enough. Caffeine would only make it worse.”

“Do I make you that nervous?” he asked mildly. “Surely after last night you realize I’m not a monster.”

She felt the betraying heat creep up her neck again. “No, I don’t think that at all,” she said softly. “This is just . . . uncomfortable for me. You have to understand. I don’t allow others to see me as you saw me last night. It bothers me. I feel . . . vulnerable, and I hate that feeling.”

He set his mug down and reached across the bar to take her hand. “I don’t want to make you feel that way, baby. I want you to feel just the opposite. You can be yourself with me. I understand you. Far better than you realize. We all have our demons to battle. You aren’t alone.”

She cocked her head, curious at the odd note in his voice. “And what are your demons, Jensen?”

His face tightened and his eyes became shuttered. She instantly regretted the innocent question, but then he’d seen her at her worst. Wasn’t she entitled to know something about him? Something that made him vulnerable?

He checked his watch, effectively dodging her question. “I need to get going if I’m going to get back in time for us to make our meeting. Will half an hour be enough time for you to get ready?”

She nodded.

He got up and to her surprise walked around to where she stood and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her. Softly. Just a brush of his lips against hers, but she felt the warmth all the way to her toes. Her entire body tingled. Her breasts became heavy and aching, her nipples straining outward. She was grateful that the robe disguised her reaction to such a simple kiss.

“I’ll be back soon,” he murmured.

And then he turned and strode out of her kitchen, the front door opening and closing as he walked out.

She stood there a long time, her fingers fluttering to her still-tingling mouth. What the hell had just happened here? Last night? The entire episode? How in the hell had their relationship taken such a dramatic turn?

She shook herself out of her stupor and headed for the bathroom to shower and ready herself for the meeting with S&G. This was important. Her chance to prove herself. Jensen believed in her. She believed in herself. Perhaps for the first time in her life. And she wasn’t going to let either him or herself down.

“YOU did very well today, Kylie. I’m very proud of you,” Jensen said as they took their seats at the Lux Café. “The CFO was very impressed with your recommendations. I’d say we’re a shoo-in for the contract.”

Kylie flushed with pleasure and ducked her head, but she knew her eyes glowed with happiness. Her stomach had been tied in knots for the entire meeting, especially when Jensen had let her take the lead and make the presentation. He’d sat back, a bystander, as Kylie had outlined their suggestions for minimizing costs to the corporation.

It had shocked the hell out of her that he’d given her control over such an important meeting. This was a huge contract for him and Dash. Dash would likely have a heart attack if he knew just how much leeway Jensen had given her in this meeting.

But after a shaky start, and with Jensen’s confidence in her evident in his gaze, she’d taken control and had crisply and efficiently delivered their recommendations to the CFO.

“Thank you,” she said honestly. “For giving me this chance, I mean. It means a lot to me. I had no idea I could do it. I was scared to death.”

“It didn’t show, though,” he said. “You oozed confidence. You had the CFO in the palm of your hand. Hell, he’d have probably eaten out of it. He was hanging on your every word. I was tempted to knee him in the balls if he didn’t keep his damn tongue in his mouth.”

She frowned. “So you think he was so attentive because I’m a woman?”

Jensen laughed. “No, I think he was attentive because you are an extremely intelligent, well put together, beautiful woman. Make no mistake, Kylie. Your looks certainly don’t hurt, but no businessman worth his salt is going to make such a huge decision based on sexual attraction. He may have enjoyed the view, but you damn well got his attention because of your intelligence and attention to detail.”

Feeling somewhat mollified, she relaxed in her seat as the waiter approached to take their order.

“You have nothing to prove, Kylie,” he said in a soft voice once the waiter drifted away. “The only person who doesn’t believe in you is you.”

She dropped her gaze because he was right. She didn’t have the confidence she should. But damn it, she wanted it. Wanted it so badly she could taste it. She wanted to take on the world and grab on with both hands. Wanted to be someone unafraid to walk into a room like she owned it. But she’d learned from a very young age to be as unassuming as possible and to draw as little attention to herself as possible. It was a matter of survival. Of self-preservation.

As if reading her thoughts, he reached across the table and twined their fingers together. What did it say about her that it no longer startled her when he touched her? That she’d come to like it. Crave it even.

“You’ll get there, baby. It won’t happen overnight, but you’ll get there. I see inside you to the real you. I know she’s there just waiting to break free. And she will. One day.”

“How is it you know so much about me?” she whispered. “Things I don’t even know myself? You haven’t worked with Dash that long.”

He smiled. “I watch people. I study them. It’s helpful in my line of work and, well, in life, for that matter. I’m good at reading people. Knowing when they’re sincere and when they’re just bullshitting me. And my instincts tell me that you’re a fierce, brave woman who’s faced a hell of a lot of adversity in her life but who’s come out stronger for it.”

She laughed, the sound brittle and not at all joyful. “Stronger? I disagree there. I’m scared of my own shadow. Or did you forget that I handcuffed you to the bed last night?”

His expression grew tender. She’d grown to love the way his eyes warmed when he looked at her just so.

“And yet you took them off,” he pointed out. “You trusted me enough to take them off when you were at your most vulnerable. I’d say that was very brave of you.”

She flushed because he had a way of turning around every argument she posed. Made what she deemed as weaknesses, strengths. If only she had as much confidence in herself as he apparently did.

“I’d like to take you to dinner tomorrow night,” he said casually. “And not a business dinner. A date. You, me, no office talk. Just us and we see where this takes us.”

“There is no us,” she blurted, stunned by his invitation.

He arched an eyebrow. “I spent last night in your bed, baby. I’d say that makes us something.”

“You didn’t give me a choice!” she sputtered. “That’s hardly the basis of a date!”

He smiled. “So forget last night then if it bothers you so much. But you know and I know that I’ll be back there. It’s only a matter of time.”

Her throat threatened to close off. She could barely breathe around the knot growing larger by the second. This man thoroughly intimidated her. She found it telling that he didn’t scare her. Not physically. She knew in her bones that he’d never lift a finger to her. It seemed to enrage him, the thought of anyone or anything hurting her. But there were other kinds of hurts. Some more painful than even the physical kind.

“I won’t play games with you,” she whispered.

His eyes lost the playful, flirty glimmer and his expression grew suddenly fierce and very serious.

“This is no goddamn game, Kylie. Not to me. Never to me. You are not a game. You aren’t a challenge, a notch on my bedpost. I don’t fuck around. I haven’t fucked my way through countless women and I’m not some bored bastard who sees getting with you as a victory.”

She was speechless. Utterly speechless. Her hands shook so hard that she had to put her water glass down because liquid sloshed over the rim, spilling onto the table.

“What do you want from me?” she croaked.

His gaze was direct and unflinching. Grim and unrelenting.

“You. Just you, Kylie. And everything you have to give.”

She was light-headed from holding her breath for so long and she forced herself to breathe as spots appeared in her vision. She had to hold it together and not melt down right in the middle of the restaurant.

“I don’t have anything to give you,” she said softly.

For some reason the starkness of her statement made her want to cry. Tears burned her eyelids but she refused to let them fall. She had nothing to offer this man. Any man. But certainly not someone like Jensen who could have any woman he wanted. Who would never have to look far for female companionship. There was probably a line outside his bedroom door.

“You’re wrong,” he said just as softly.

He didn’t expound. Just kept staring at her with that intense gaze, his eyes never leaving her face, taking in every thought, every reaction. She was certain he could see the tears glittering in her eyes, burning, begging to fall free. She swallowed hard, her head aching with the effort not to allow him to see how affected she was by . . . him.

But he knew. Damn the man, he knew. At least he wasn’t smug. He didn’t look triumphant. He just stared tenderly at her, like he always did, as if he knew exactly the battle she waged with herself. Saw every fear. Heard every doubt. And yet he still wanted her.

It baffled and awed her all at the same time.

“It’s just a date,” he said mildly. “Dinner. Maybe a movie. We could rent something and relax on the couch. I won’t try and get into your pants. Yet,” he added with a sly grin.