AEHS mission statement and beliefs:

Mission Statement

It is Albert Einstein High School's mission to provide students with learning experiences that are technologically relevant, globally orientated and personally challenging.

Beliefs:

1. The school must provide a diverse curriculum that includes a strong academic programme enhanced by numerous electives.

2. A well-supported and diverse extra-curricular programme is an essential supplement to the academic programme in helping students explore a wide range of interests and abilities.

3. Students must be encouraged to develop

responsible behaviour and accountability for their actions.

4. Tolerance and understanding of different cultures and viewpoints must be encouraged at all times.

5. Cheating or plagiarism will not be condoned in any form, and can lead to suspension or expulsion.

The administration would like the student body to be aware that in the coming exam period, it intends to enforce point 5 with vigilance. Forewarned is forearmed.

Incident at Les Hautes Manger


by Mia Thermopolis


Having been asked by this paper to provide an account of what occurred last week at the restaurant Les Hautes Manger, at which this reporter was present, it must be noted that the entire thing was the fault of this reporter's grandmother, who smuggled her dog into the restaurant. The said dog's ill-timed break for freedom caused busboy Jangbu Pinasa to drop a soup-laden tray on to the Dowager Princess of Genovia's person. The consequent dismissal of Jangbu Pinasa was both unfair and possibly unconstitutional. Though this reporter isn't sure, due to her lack of familiarity with said constitution. It is this reporter's feeling that Mr. Pinasa should be given his job back.

Editorial


While it is not the policy of this paper to print anonymous submissions, the following poem so neatly sums up what so many

of us are feeling at this time of year that we decided to run it anyway. - Ed.

Spring Fever


By Anonymous




Sneaking away during lunch -

Taco salad, the kind with the meat in it, and the Green Goddess dressing. God, why do they do that to us?

We find that Central Park beckons - Green grass and daffodils pushing their way out from underneath

a blanket of cigarette butts and crumpled soda cans. So we make a run for it - Did they see us? I don't

think so.

Can we get In-School suspension for a first offence? I guess anything is possible. Let's sit on the bench and try to get a tan ... Only to find, to our dismay, that we've left our sunglasses back in our lockers.



Please note: It is the policy of this administration to suspend any and all students who leave campus during school hours for WHATEVER REASON. Spring Fever is not an acceptable excuse for violating this school policy.

Student Injured by Globe


by Melanie Greenbaum


An AEHS student suffered an in-class injury yesterday due to a large globe that fell, or was dropped on his head. If it was

the latter, this reporter feels it necessary to ask: where was the adult supervision at the time said globe was dropped? And if it was the former, why is this administration allowing dangerous objects such as globes to be placed at heights from which they might fall and cause injury to our students? This reporter demands a thorough investigation.

Letters to the Editor:



To Whom it May Concern: The amount of malaise evidenced by the student body of this establishment is a personal embarrassment to me and a disgrace to our generation. While the students of Albert Einstein High School sit around, planning their Senior Prom and whining about their finals, people in Tibet are DYING. Yes, DYING. Clashes continue between the rebels and the Chinese military, making it impossible for many Tibetans to make even a meagre living.

But what is our government doing to help the people of Tibet? Nothing more than advising tourists to stay away. People, the Tibetans make their living from tourists who come to climb the Himalayas. Please do not listen to our government's warnings

to avoid Tibet. Encourage your parents to allow you to vacation there this summer - you'll be glad you did.

Lilly Moscovitz

AEHS Food Court Menu


compiled by Mia Thermopolis



Monday


Spicy Chix

Meatball Sub

Fr. Bread Pizza

Potato Bar

Fish Fingers


Tuesday


Nachos Deluxe

Indiv. Pizza

Chicken Patite

Soup & Sand.

Tuna in Pita

Wednesday


Italian Beef

Deli Bar

Burrito

Taco Salad Bar

Corndog/Pickle

Thursday


Fish Stix

Pasta Bar

Chicken Pharm.

Asian Bar

Corn/FF

Friday


Soft Pretzel

Buffalo Bites

Grilled Cheese

Bean Bar

Curly Fries



 Take out your own personal ad!

Available to AEHS students at 50 cents/line



Happy Ad

Shop at Ho's Deli for all your school supply needs!

New this week: PAPER, BINDER CLIPS, TAPE.

Also Yu-Gi-Oh cards, Slimfast

For Sale:

One Fender precision bass, baby-blue, never been played.

With amp, how-to videos. Best Offer. Locker No. 345

Looking for Love:

Female frosh, loves romance/ reading, wants older boy who enjoys same.

Must be taller than 5'8", no mean people, non-smokers only,

musician preferred. NO METAL-HEADS, nice hands a must.

Email: Iluvromance@aehs.edu

Happy Ad

Personal to from BP to LM -I'm sorry for what I did, but I want you to know that I still love you.

PLEASE meet me by my locker after school today and allow me to express my devotion to you.

Lilly, you are my muse. Without you, the music is gone. Please don't let our love die this way.

Happy Ad

From CF to GD: YES!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Ad

JR, I am SO excited about the prom, I can't STAND it, we are going to have SO MUCH FUN.

I feel SO SORRY for the rejects who aren't going to the prom. Isn't that just too bad for them?

They'll be sitting around at home while you and I are DANCING THE NIGHT AWAY!

I love you SOOOOOOOO much. LW

Happy Ad

LW - Right back atcha, babe -JR









Wednesday, May 7, Algebra


Well, I did it. I can't say it went over very well - in fact, it did not go over AT ALL well. But I did it. No one can say

I didn't do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to try to get my boyfriend to take me to his prom.

Oh, God, but WHY did it have to be LANA WEINBERGER???? WHY???? I mean, ANYBODY else -Melanie Greenbaum, even. But no. It had to be Lana. I had to grovel to LANA WEINBERGER.

Oh, God, my skin is still crawling.

She was so not receptive to my offer, either. You would have thought I was asking her to strip naked and sing the school

song in the middle of lunch (no, wait - Lana probably wouldn't mind doing that).

I got to class early, because I know Lana usually likes to get there before the second bell to make a few calls on her mobile. There she was, all right, the only person in the room, yakking away to someone named Sandy about her prom dress - she

really did get a black ofF-one-shoulder one with a butterfly hem from Nicole Miller (I so hate her). Anyway, I went up to her - which I think was VERY brave of me considering every time I fall under Lana's radar she makes some catty personal remark about my physical appearance. But whatever. I just stood there next to her desk while she yammered into the phone, until she finally realized I wasn't going away. Then she went, 'Hold on a minute, will you, Sandy? There's a ... person who wants something.' Then she held the phone away from her face, looked up at me with those big baby blues of hers, and went, 'WHAT?'

'Lana,' I said. I swear, I have sat next to the Emperor of Japan, OK? I once shook the hand of Prince William. I even stood next to Imelda Marcos in line for the Ladies' Room at The Producers. But none of those events ever made me as nervous as Lana does with a mere glance. Because of course Lana has made tormenting me a special personal hobby of hers. That kind

of terror runs deeper than the fear of meeting emperors or princes or dictators' wives.

'Lana,' I said again, trying to get my voice to stop shaking. 'I need to ask you something.'

'No,' Lana said, and got back on to her mobile.

'I haven't even asked you yet,' I cried.

'Well, the answer is still no,' Lana said, tossing around her shiny blonde hair. 'Now, where was I? Oh yes, so I am fully

getting body-glitter and putting it on my - no, not there, Sandy! You are so bad.'

'It's just . . .' I had to talk fast because, of course, there was a strong chance Michael was going to stop by the Algebra classroom on his way to AP English, as he does almost every day. I did not want him to know what I was up to. '. . . I know you're on the Prom Committee, and I really think this year's senior class deserves live music at their prom, and not just a DJ. That's why I was thinking you should ask Skinner Box to play.'