Lauren Dane - Girls’ Night Out

The table dissolved into laughter again.

Beth held up her glass. “The first toast tonight goes to Lily. Who will be marrying our dumbhead brother Nathan in just a few weeks and then it’ll be too late, she’ll be a Murphy. She keeps Nathan in line and smiling and so sex addled he mainly stays out of my business so thank you, Lily, and welcome to our messed-up family!”

Glasses raised as everyone toasted the woman of the evening.

“Here’s to Lily, who knows just how crazy we all are and who stays anyway!”

“And to Lily, who has awesome shoes in my size!”

Barbecued chicken came out right as a few other people arrived. Penny and Dee, two friends who’d moved to Atlanta but always came back for the fun stuff, and Jill with the other two Murphy wives.

“Just in time, I see.” Jill, the youngest Murphy sibling, grabbed a glass and the pitcher as she sat. “Sorry, it was a hellish day at work. I have a client who thinks he’s god. He’s really just a pain in my butt.”

“It’s all right, there’s plenty of food, drink and penis paraphernalia for all.” Anne handed down hats and blinky pins. “There are penis sweet tarts too. The purple ones taste like tears and loneliness so avoid those.”

Jill curled her lip and held up a purple sugar penis. “If a real penis was purple, it might also taste like tears and loneliness.”

Beth nodded. “Especially if it was that small. Still, let’s not find out.”

Jill raised her brows. “Good to know Joe’s wedding tackle isn’t tiny and purple.”

“I’ll give you five dollars to ask him about it.” Anne snickered.

Tate clapped. “I’ll give you ten to ask William about it. It’s fun to watch that vein on his temple throb when he’s forced to confront the fact that his baby sister and his best friend are doing dirty sexytimes.”

Jill made herself a plate. “The thing I love most about you, Tate, is how you look so sweet on the outside. All maternal with that pretty pale hair and you are just such a troublemaker. I admire that.”

“I can guarantee you those boys are not having anywhere near as much fun as we are.” Liv sat back in her chair. “Hey, do these dick lollipops have gum in them?”

“I’m not sure where I stand on dick lollipops with stuff in the middle.”

“You’re all going to ruin our sweet baby Jill.” Beth put an arm around her sister.

“Please. Have you met Jill?” Anne waved it away.

“I know, Anne needs to tell us what the hell is going on with Royal.”

Anne heaved a sigh and Beth felt bad for her.

“I think it’s truly over. We’re way better off as friends and I’m not just saying that. He wants marriage. White picket fences and babies. I don’t. I don’t want that life and I care about him. He should be happy and he can’t be with me. And I don’t want to feel guilty all the time about not giving him what he needs. I think we’re both in love with each other, but it’s not deep enough. Not to weather this. I’d never ask him to keep hanging on, waiting around to see if maybe I’ll change my mind. He deserves to be in love with someone who wants that as much as he does.”

“That’s too bad. I like Royal. I like you two together.” Tate handed the platter of tacos down to their end of the table.

“I like him too. I’ve liked him since we were kids. I think we can be better friends. I do know for sure that I can’t commit to him like he deserves.”

Beth understood it. Anne had a rough time getting past the idea that marriage was what their parents had. It didn’t matter that her married siblings didn’t have marriages that looked anything like what they’d grown up with. She didn’t want to mess up her life, or anyone else’s, the way their parents did to one another and to their kids. Some childhood scars ran deep and never healed.

It wasn’t like Beth wanted to say Anne’d change her mind. Who knew if Anne ever would, and it was insulting when women told other women they’d change their mind about major life stuff like marriage and kids. She respected each and every one of her siblings and their right to make whatever choices they needed to be happy.

“Now that I’ve calmed down all the hilarity with my spinster news, how about we open some presents?” Anne winked at Beth, who tipped her chin back at her sister. Anne knew Beth would always have her back, no matter what.

“So it’s time for some presents!” Beth stood. “Well, first it’s time for cake. Then presents. Anne, can you guys clear off a spot on the table? I’m just going to go find Pete to have him bring the cake in.”

Which was easy enough. She wove her way through the crowd and found him near the bar. “Hey, Pete, can we get the cake when you get the chance?”

“You sure can. Everything else all right?”

“Food is excellent. Beer is tasty. I appreciate the help tonight.”

“It’s always a pleasure to have a bunch of pretty women in here. Not like that’s a chore.” He winked. As he was nearing eighty, it wasn’t like his flirting was serious. “When will we be hosting your bachelorette party?”

She laughed. “I’m enjoying the living-in-sin part right now. We’ll get there though.”

Pete came around, and they walked back to the kitchen to get the cake from the walk-in.

“How’s Joe’s daddy?”

Joe’s father had been struggling with mental illness for some time, and over the last few months had finally found a medication combo that was working. Rather than respond or act in a way that continued to stigmatize the issue, Beth wanted to treat it like any other health issue. It was, of course, up to Joe’s father, and she was careful about what she shared. But when she did talk about it, she did in a very straightforward way. Joe seemed to prefer it and that’s what mattered most to her.

“He’s better. Working on it.”

“You tell him I said hello. My Missy said she ran into Joe’s momma the other day at the library, and I’ve been meaning to ask after him. But it’s hard. I don’t know what to say.”

She nodded. “I understand.” Joe’s father could be at turns grateful and resentful when people asked after him. But she knew he appreciated that people thought about him, and it really helped his wife, who was trying her damndest to understand his illness and do what was right and best.

Pete looked down at the cake and blushed. “Well lookie here. Who’d have thought they’d make a cake like this?”

She waggled her brows. “There’s a novelty cake shop in Riverton.”

“Novelty huh?” He laughed as she took the cake from his arms. “I’ll have to take a pass on the part where you cut into it.” He winced and they headed separate ways.

“I understand. Thanks, Pete.”

She came back in and when everyone looked up and saw what she had, snickers and guffaws broke out.

“Oh my lands! Girl, you have pricks on the brain.” Lily laughed.

The cake was actually a bunch of small cakes. Little jumping penises. Some had tennis shoes on the balls. Some were floppy. Some had little caps. Sure, she could have gone with something serious, but Lily had a lot of serious trying to keep her brother in line and hoping her mother would come home from sober living in time for the wedding. A little dick humor was just the thing.

And seeing Lily blush and giggle as she blew out all those candles and sliced up all the little dick cakes, Beth was very glad she’d done it.

“I think I’m going to have to eat an entire packet of Tums after all these wings.” Nathan patted his belly.

“Wait until you get in your late thirties. Just looking at something deep fried gives you heartburn.”

“Bummer. I’m gonna hate being as old as you, William. Then again, you’ll always be older than me. So there’s that.”

William reached over and socked Nathan’s arm. “Asshole.”

Their waitress had kept the beer and the food coming as they all hung out, told lies and insulted each other. In other words, a pretty fun night out with his friends.

Joe seemed to find it hilarious that Nathan’s ex-fiancé—more like a psycho who announced in the newspaper that they were engaged without talking to Nathan first—kept staring over at their table.

“Steffie can’t take her eyes off you.” Joe laughed and laughed.

“Quiet or I’ll send some beers over to Dolly’s table, and then you’ll have to deal with my sister. I heard her threaten you about, what did she say…”

“Big-haired, mammoth-hootered skanks I believe was the phrase she used. My romantic, fragile flower.”

“I believe she said hoochie instead of skank. My sister does have a way with words.” William snorted. “Also, she’s scary. Oh sure, she’s wise cracking and has a big heart, they all do. But she would take any of those women down if they ever really tried to get in between you.”

“I know. It’s hot. Not that I’d want her to get into it with anyone. But I can imagine it all I want and if you say anything I’ll deny it. Anyway, Jacob and Trey are single. They can run interference.”

Jacob, the youngest Murphy brother shook his head and put his hands up. “No thank you. I’m single but I don’t have a death wish. I’m not jumping in front of that crazytrain if it barrels over here.”

“I might forgive the way Trey put his hands on Beth if he took one for the team.” Joe raised a brow, still thinking about the big old slap in the face with the reality that his woman could and would move on if he didn’t get his shit straight.

“You should thank me for that. If she’d asked some dude who didn’t care about her as much as I do, he might have really made a move.”

“He’s got a point.” Jacob raised a beer.