“Why?” Isabel a asked.

“Because then she’l have a reason for everyone to give her more presents. We’l have to throw her a baby shower too, and talk about her being pregnant, and then we’l have to babysit the little fucker.”

“That’s lovely,” Isabel a said. She peeked through the sliding glass doors to see if anyone missed them. Mary had been grabbed and chosen to write down al of the gifts, and she was looking around the room for them. She seemed pissed and Isabel a felt bad, but better her than them. Their friend Abby was constructing a bouquet out of the ribbons Kristi threw at her as she tore into the packages. Abby worked with her head down, like a child in a sweatshop. Kristi had debated whether or not to even make Abby a bridesmaid in the first place. “I mean, I know she’d be honored,” Kristi said. “But maybe it would be too much, since she just cal ed off her own wedding not long ago. I don’t want her to be a downer.” Abby had shown up at every shower and party, and been a good sport. And now, here she was threading ribbons through a paper plate. She glanced up and saw Isabel a through the glass door. Her eyes looked wounded, like she believed that Kristi was getting married just to punish her. Abby gave Isabel a a smal smile and kept her fingers moving, twisting and tying to make that stupid ribbon hat. Isabel a tried to smile back and then had to turn away.

“This is getting ridiculous,” Lauren said. She was cranky. “This is my fifth wedding this year. And I’m done with it. What I don’t get is why there have to be so many showers just for one person. And why do they have to have themes? Why? Just to make it more annoying than it already is?”

Isabel a shushed her and then glanced inside to make sure no one had heard. The theme for this shower was “My Favorite Things.” They had al received invitations that read: “Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes! Please come and celebrate with our bride-to-be, Kristi Kearney. Bring her one of your favorite things!”

“I should have brought her cigarettes,” Lauren said thoughtful y. She took one more drag and then stamped her cigarette out on the ground. “They are one of my favorite things. Thank God I have them today. Kristi’s being a nightmare, huh?”

Isabel a didn’t have anything to say. Kristi wasn’t a bad person, she didn’t think. But she was acting like one. “Maybe she’s just stressed,” Isabel a said. They had been talking about Kristi for months now. If the wedding didn’t come soon, they were going to have to stop being friends with her.

On the eve of Kristi’s engagement party, Todd’s great-aunt died. There was talk of rescheduling, and Kristi came to see them, crying. “I’ve just real y been looking forward to this,” she said. “How could they do this to me?”

“But someone died,” Lauren said.

“I just think we stil could have it. I mean, it’s a party for me,” Kristi said. She put her head in her hands and they al looked at each other. Then they al kept drinking.

The party ended up happening. And later, Kristi would say that it was a shame that the aunt’s death had put such a damper on it. “I just felt like I couldn’t real y be as happy as I wanted to be, you know? Like I had to dial it back to be appropriate. It was real y unfair.”

“Do you think she needs to be on medication?” Mary asked later. No one laughed.

They kept waiting for it to stop, waiting for Kristi to realize that she was acting like a beast. But she never did. At her bachelorette party, she cried when one of their friends announced that she was pregnant. “I just real y wanted this night to be about me,” she wailed.

When Lauren hired a woman to come to the party and sel sex toys, Kristi turned to her and said, “This seems like something you would want more than I would. I mean, I have Todd now and we’re getting married, so I don’t real y need a vibrator. But it’s fun for the single girls, I guess.”

“Last night I added up al the money I spent on weddings this year,” Lauren said in a dreamy voice. “It was over five thousand dol ars. I could have gone on a trip to Belize and then bought a new wardrobe.”

“I realized yesterday that my credit card bil is never going to be paid in ful . Never,” Isabel a said.

They weren’t real y talking to each other. It was the same conversation they’d been having since the weddings started. They finished their cigarettes in silence.

“We should go back in there before Mary never forgives us,” Isabel a said.

“Fine,” Lauren said, and drank the rest of her mimosa in one gulp.

The food at the showers was always the same: ladylike salads, teeny sandwiches, cut-up fruit, white wine and mimosas, mini cakes for dessert.

Lauren piled an alarming amount of mini sandwiches on her plate. “I would kil you for a cheeseburger,” she whispered to Mary.

“I might just kil you for fun,” Mary said. “How could you leave me in there alone? I had to write down al the presents by myself. And they kept asking me if I was dating anyone. Then, one woman who was hard of hearing said, ‘What? Who are you dating?’ And I had to yel loudly across the room, ‘I’m not dating anyone!’ ”

“Shut up.”

“Swear to God, it happened.”

One of the bridge friends clinked her glass with a spoon until the room quieted down. “Welcome, everyone! I just wanted to say a few words about our lovely bride-to-be, Kristi!” Everyone in the room clapped.

“Why are they clapping for her?” Lauren asked. “She didn’t do anything.” Mary and Isabel a both shushed her and she just rol ed her eyes. The woman talked about Kristi and how she had watched her grow up. Lauren shoved a whole sandwich in her mouth and chewed while the bridge lady spoke. When Mary gave her a look, she swal owed and said, “What? I’m hungry.”

“Our theme for today is ‘My Favorite Things,’ ” the woman continued. “I hope that everyone is ready to explain the special meaning behind her gift for Kristi!” Then the woman started singing, “Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes,” and she raised her arms for everyone to join. Al of the women in the room chimed in, “Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes!” They kept singing and started swaying back and forth. Abby was standing unfortunately close to the woman who’d started the singing, and the woman wrapped her arm around Abby’s shoulders, forced her to move in time with the music, and looked at her with an encouraging smile until Abby started to sing along with her. A few of the women were snapping their fingers. Lauren looked at Isabel a and Mary and said, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, right?”

They struggled through the lunch and chatted with al of the women. They cleaned up bal s of wrapping paper and stray ribbons, helped clear the plates and glasses, and then carried al of the presents to the car while Kristi thanked her guests. Abby told them that she had an appointment in the city that she had to get back for. “Go,” they al told her. They almost pushed her out the door. “Get out while you can.”