“No,” Lauren said. “He’s not my type either.”

“Oh, wel , look at you, Miss High and Mighty! Are you going to meet someone in the park?”

“You’re a jackass,” Lauren said.

“And you are a rude waitress,” the man said. “A rude waitress who just lost herself a tip.”

“Good,” Lauren said. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Why don’t you just sit down for a minute?” the man asked. “I feel like we got off to a bad start.”

Lauren rested her hands on the back of the chair across from him. Her knees felt wiggly. “I’m okay,” she said.

“I didn’t ask if you were okay,” the man said. “I asked if you would like to sit down. I would buy you a drink if you did. I just closed a huge deal.”

“I know,” Lauren said. “You told me. Why do you keep tel ing me that?”

“It’s the kind of thing people like to know,” he said. “It’s the kind of thing you want to tel someone about yourself.”

Lauren straightened herself up and looked him in the eye. She smiled widely, showing him al of her teeth. “Thank you, then,” she said. “Thanks for sharing.” She walked away from the table. The man sat there holding his drink.

“Carly, I need you to finish up that table for me,” Lauren said. “I can’t wait on that guy anymore.”

Carly nodded. “Sure. Is he rich?”

“He might be,” Lauren said. “You should ask him.”

“Hey, Lauren,” Preston said. “This guy at the bar just ordered a gril ed ham and cheese. You want to go tel him that he shouldn’t eat the precious ham animal?”

“You are a moron,” Lauren said. “You know that?”

“I’m just saying, there are a lot of hams getting slaughtered around here today,” Preston said and smiled.

Carly looked back and forth between them, like she was waiting for a fight to break out. “What’s going on?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Lauren said.

At the other table, the little boy was standing on the seat of the booth wiggling his hips and singing, “Ooh, baby, baby. Ooh, baby!” His mother clapped and laughed until his knee knocked over the water, and then she told him to sit and motioned to Lauren that they needed help cleaning up.

This was not what Lauren went to col ege for. This was not where she was supposed to be. These were not the kind of people she was supposed to be around. She took a deep breath and whispered, “Cumulonimbus.” She closed her eyes and saw the Ham—the real Ham—basking in al of its glory. It looked nothing like the monster she’d seen at the park. This was a handsome Ham. It had whiskers that blew in the wind, and Lauren thought it was smiling at her. She opened her eyes, feeling better. “Did you say something?” Preston asked her, and she shook her head. She picked up a towel from the bar and went to go clean up her table. She had the Ham back. Tomorrow, she told herself. Tomorrow she would quit.

W hen Mary was nine, she stole a prayer. It happened by accident, but it happened just the same. She was kneeling in front of the prayer candles at church, blowing softly out of her mouth, and watching the flames flicker. She made a little circle with her lips and held her hands folded in front of her mouth, as though she were praying. Mrs. Sugar watched her closely, giving her warning looks with her thick eyebrows, while she tried to pay attention to the rest of the class, which was stil lined up to give confession. Mrs. Sugar had a nice-sounding name, but real y she was a witch. Every time she looked over, Mary pressed her lips together.