He shrugged. "Not really, but I thought I was doing what you wanted."

Jessica's heart began to pound, with confusion, with hope. "Why didn't you ever tell me any of this before?"

"I don't know. Maybe I just hoped you'd trust me without having to explain myself to death."

"What do you mean, explain yourself to death? You've never explained yourself at all!"

"Yeah, all right, maybe I haven't." He thrust his fingers through his hair. "And that was wrong of me. But all my life women have looked at me and seen . . my looks. I'll admit that wasn't a problem until I met you. When you seemed to see the real me, though, I discovered it's a lot more exciting being wanted for more than just my face or my studly butt."

"You can't simply take your looks out of the equation, though, Christopher. I knew within five minutes of meeting you that you were so much more than just a gorgeous guy. But the fact remains, you are a gorgeous guy. And I'm about as far from gorgeous as it gets. I'm just a mousy, average-looking woman."

"Are you kidding me? You're so beautiful, Jessie, both inside and out. And no one else can make me laugh the way you do. No one else makes me want to be a better man." His eyes darkened. "Besides, you've got those pretty eyes, and those legs up to here that make me so horny I can barely see straight. I fell for you like Adam from grace, and I thought we were going to live happily ever after."

But they hadn't. Somehow the ink had barely dried on the marriage certificate before everything had started falling apart. "What happened?" she asked.

He came back and joined her on the bed, stretched out facing her in a position that mirrored her own. "Remember how we used to talk to each other in our little apartment in Bellingham?"

"Of course. We never seemed to run out of things to say."

"Well, when we moved here, you quit talking to me. You quit laughing with me."

"So why did you never say anything? You don't seem to have any trouble telling me now. Why not before?"

"Why didn't you ever tell me your fears?"

Okay, looking at it from his perspective, she realized that the situation could be construed differently from the way she'd always viewed it, and she drew a deep breath. "I was afraid to," she admitted slowly. "I love you so much, but I guess I couldn't quite believe you could love me in return. I've just been waiting for you to take up with one of the gorgeous women who are always throwing themselves at you." She peered at him, a sense of wonder slowly filling her. "But you're never going to do that, are you?"

"Hell, no!" He reached out and dragged her across the small sea of bedspread separating them. Wrapping her in his arms, he held her tightly and pressed his mouth to the crown of her head. "You're the most important person in my life, and I've been trying to find a way back to you. I've been trying so fucking hard, Jess. For such a long time."

She spread her palms against his chest to absorb as much of his warmth and strength as she could. But she was desperate to hold him in return, and soon slid her hands up to wrap around his strong neck. "Why didn't you at least tell me you were looking for another job?"

"I wanted to surprise you." He gave a rueful laugh. "Don't ask me why, but it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"God, Christopher, I love you so much. And I'm such a coward for not trying harder. It's just… I've always felt so second-rate, and that's a hard self-image to break. First there was an entire lifetime spent trying to keep up with the Joneses, which is pretty futile when you flat out don't have the means to compete. Then, too, I've never been the life of the party, or even someone with an interesting career. And I'm certainly not pretty like Cassidy." He made a sound of disagreement and she tightened her arms around his neck. "I'm not. But you chose me anyway, and for a while I felt like a goddess. Then, when you seemed to jump at David's offer within months of the wedding, I didn't know what to think. I'm not proud that my insecurities made me suspect the worst possible explanation. And I'm even less proud that instead of confronting you with my doubts, I did what I've always done, and withdrew inside myself."

"I don't know, baby, I'd say your withdrawing days are numbered. You looked pretty kick-ass fierce a few minutes ago when you threatened to scratch my eyes out."

The corners of her lips curled up in a tiny smile. "I've felt a little more confident lately. A little less willing to please everyone—and a lot less passive."

He tucked his chin in and simply looked down at her for a moment. "Because of Lily," he finally said, and a trace of sadness showed in the depth of his green eyes as he rearranged a tendril of her newly shorn hair against her cheek. "This is pretty, but I wish I could have been responsible for some of it."

"Lily has helped me a lot. She's made me feel prettier by teaching me how to achieve a good look for me. It gives me self-assurance, Chris, because for the first time in my life I actually feel fashionable, instead of like some dowdy poor relation. And she gave me the gift of trusting in my quilting talents, too. But that's peanuts compared to knowing you love me." She tipped her head back to look him in the eye. "It's nothing next to learning you've been working to affect a change in our lives. That's gotta be the biggest confidence booster of all. It makes me feel invincible. In charge of my life. And I want that, Chris—I want to grab my life with both hands and shake it up a little. To be confident and unafraid to try new things."

He grinned at her. "Then that's what you'll do. And to start, what do you say to trying out this newfound confidence in San Diego?"

"Is that where the job is?"

"Where this offer came from, anyway. I've had a few interviews, but I like this company best. They seem the most ethical, and they're the only ones who didn't push when I told them bringing corporate secrets from David's company is not part of the package."

Joy bubbled up in Jessica's veins and, laughing, she pushed until Christopher rolled over on his back and she lay sprawled atop him. Stacking her hands upon his chest, she propped her chin on them and looked down at her husband. Then she gave him a dreamy smile. "San Diego sounds perfect."

Chapter 21

The sheriff was not happy with Mrs. Beaumont when he learned she'd purposely not called him in until matters had come to a head. But the same woman who'd spent a great deal of time in the throes of hysteria, Lily noted with interest, now met the lawman's condemnation with utter equanimity. Mrs. B. was apparently too elated over David's and Glynnis's safe return to care if the sheriff approved or not. And when he turned his ire on Zach, she stepped right in to take full responsibility, making it clear that she had acted contrary to Zach's advice.

Lily watched the little drama unfold with fascination, but eventually pulled herself away to go down to the kitchen to assemble a belated lunch. It was funny, though, she mused, how people could rise to some occasions but completely fall apart on others.

A short while later she carried lunch to the dining room. As she passed the parlor, she glanced in and discovered that although the sheriff had left with Richard, others had arrived to take their place, and overall, the total number of people in the house had grown. Jessica, looking much improved, had come down with Christopher, and Zach's friends were there. Taking a quick head count, Lily unloaded her tray onto the dining room sideboard, then went back to the kitchen. It didn't take long, however, before she was headed back with additional servings. If there was one thing she was especially good at, it was making sure there was enough food to go around.

Zach must have spotted her on her second trip to the dining room, for his voice suddenly called out, "Hey, look! Soup's on! You want some help with that, lollipop?"

The entire boisterous group poured out of the parlor, and suddenly the dining room was alive with voices and laughter. Flashing her a sheepish smile, John Miglionni took the tray out of her hands. Jessica helped her set the table. Lily had barely straightened from arranging the last place setting of silverware when a big blond man with dark eyes and even darker eyebrows came over, hand-in-hand with a slender woman with glossy black hair and white skin. He introduced the two of them as Cooper and Veronica Blackstock, then gave her a thorough appraisal. His brown eyes were fiercely intelligent; the first words out of his mouth were not.

" Hoo-ahh" he breathed. "And you can cook , too?"

"Hey, that's exactly what I said the first time I saw her." John came up to join them. "The first part, anyway. I didn't know about the cooking." He grinned down at Lily. "It's a Marine thing," he explained. "A complimentary Marine thing."

Overwhelmed by the sudden wash of testosterone,Lily blinked at the two men, and Veronica nudged her husband. "Once you've rolled your tongue back into your mouth, isn't there something else you'd like to say to Lily?"

"Huh?"

"Like how sorry you were to make her drag Zach out of bed this morning?"

He stared at her as if she were nuts. "Why would I say that? There was planning to be done, Ronnie, and Zach would've been one unhappy little buckaroo if I'd let him sleep through it just because of a minor bump on the head." He turned to his friend, who was approaching with a filched bread stick clenched like a Havana cigar between his grinning teeth. "Wouldn't you, buddy?"

"Hell, yeah."