Sylvain Reynard - Gabriel’s Redemption

She hoisted herself up onto the counter and began to swing her legs back and forth.

“I am. The conference is over; we had a great time in Rome and Assisi. I’m in love with my husband and I get to share this fantastic house with him. I’m the luckiest woman in the universe.”

Gabriel’s eyebrows shot up. ”In the universe? Hmmm. I’m sure the inhabitants of the galaxy next door will be sorry to hear that.”

She playfully poked him with her argyle-covered foot. ”You’re a nerd.”

He turned on her and grabbed her foot, pulling it upward until her leg was extended to the height of his shoulder. She reclined on her elbows to maintain her balance.

“What did you just call me?” He feigned anger, but his sapphire eyes twinkled.

“Um, I called you a nerd.”

He raised a single eyebrow.

“Oh, really? Would a nerd do this?” Expertly, Gabriel used his fingers to stroke the contours of Julia’s instep.

When she sighed at the pleasant sensation, he peeled off her socks before tossing them over his shoulder.

“Let’s see if we can get you all hot and bothered, shall we?” His voice was low, and it made Julia quiver.

He slid his hand over her leg, toying with the back of her knee until she groaned.

“Julianne,” he growled, his eyes dancing.

“Y-yes?”

“You aren’t wearing panties.”

With a single finger, he traveled the length of her inner thigh and back again, stroking up and down in a patient rhythm.

She began to breathe rather rapidly as his fingers approached where she was exposed.

“Nerds are not known for their skills in lovemaking.” Gabriel withdrew his hand and placed his index finger against her mouth.

She parted her lips and he pressed his finger inside. She closed around him, sucking his finger slightly before releasing it.

He winked at her before using his now-moistened finger to stroke the inside of her upper thigh.

“Would a nerd know to do this?” He leaned over and began to blow across the trail of wetness he’d left with his finger.

When Julia shivered, he smiled wickedly and nuzzled the same trail with his nose.

Standing up again, he kissed her hungrily and then abruptly retreated. Before she had the time to protest, he dropped to his knees in front of her.

“Hmmmm,” he said, moving her legs so that they rested on his shoulders again. “This counter seems to be the perfect height. I guess you really are the luckiest woman in the universe.”

The following evening, Julia awoke in the middle of the night and visited the en-suite. On her return, she heard Gabriel shifting in bed, a few muffled words escaping his lips.

This was not surprising. Gabriel was usually a deep sleeper, but there were nights when he’d toss and turn and even talk in his sleep. Usually, Julia wasn’t bothered by it. But on this evening, he started thrashing in bed and cursing.

She was at his side instantly. “Gabriel?”

He continued his erratic movements, punctuated as they were by moments of torpor.

She switched on the lamp. “Gabriel?”

He mumbled. Then, all of a sudden, he tore at the bedclothes, wrestling and flailing until he was free.

His eyes shot open and he sat up, gasping for breath.

“Are you all right?” Julia elected to keep her distance, speaking in a low voice.

He looked at her, disoriented, and clutched his chest.

“Is it your heart? Can you breathe?”

“Nightmare.” His voice cracked.

“I’ll get you a drink.” Julia returned to the en-suite and retrieved a glass, filling it with water from the tap. He accepted it wordlessly.

She sat on the edge of the bed and waited, watching him closely.

“What was your nightmare about?”

He finished his drink, placing the glass on the nightstand.

“Give me a minute.”

Julia wanted to brush his dark hair back from his forehead, but she didn’t think he would welcome the gesture.

His blue eyes blinked before fixing on the wall behind her.

“My biological parents.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Julia reached out to hug him, but he stiffened. She paused for a moment, then walked over to her side of the bed.

Gabriel didn’t move. He didn’t even bother to turn out the light but continued to sit with his back against the headboard.

She slid over to him, underneath the sheets. She wanted to comfort him. But the air around him was charged with a strange kind of energy. Gabriel didn’t want to be touched.

She closed her eyes and had almost drifted into sleep, when his voice came out of the darkness.

“I was with my mother in our old apartment in Brooklyn. I could hear her and my father arguing.”

Julia’s eyes snapped open.

“I heard a crash. I heard my mother crying. I ran into the kitchen.”

“Was she okay?”

“She was kneeling on the floor. He was standing over her, shouting. I hit him with my fists. I shouted back. He shoved me and went to the front door. My mother crawled after him, begging him not to leave.”

Gabriel’s eyes glinted coldly, anger distorting his handsome features.

“Fucking bastard,” he spat.

“Sweetheart,” Julia murmured. She slid her hand across the sheet, making contact with his hip.

“I hate him. He’s been dead for years and still, if I knew where his grave was, I’d piss on it.”

Julia pressed her palm into his hip.

“I’m sorry.”

When he didn’t respond, she stroked his skin softly, an act that was meant to be soothing.

“He hit her. It was bad enough that he seduced her and abandoned us. But the asshole hit her.”

“Gabriel,” she whispered. “It was only a dream.”

He shook his head, still staring off into space.

“I don’t think so.”

Julia stilled. “You think it was real?”

Gabriel covered his eyes, pressing his fingers into the sockets. “I don’t think that was the first time they fought. Or the first time I intervened.”

“How old were you?”

“Young. Five or six. I don’t know.”

“You were a brave boy, defending your mother.”

Gabriel dropped his hands into his lap.

“It didn’t do any good. He broke her. Can you imagine crawling after a man who hit you? In front of your son?”

“She must have loved him.”

“Don’t make excuses,” he snapped.

“Gabriel, look at me.” Her tone was gentle.

He turned in her direction, his eyes blazing fire.

“I stayed with Simon,” she remarked quietly.

Gabriel blinked, and slowly the fire in his eyes began to diminish.

“I didn’t know your mother. But I know how messed up my head was when I was with Simon.”

“That was different. You were young.”

“I can’t imagine your mother was very old when she had you. How old was she?”

“I don’t know,” he ground out.

“She thought she loved him. She had a child with him.”

“He was married.”

Julia fidgeted with the sheet that covered her. “We can’t change our pasts. All we can change is the future.”

“I’m sorry I woke you.” Gabriel pressed a kiss against her hair.

“You didn’t.”

He pulled back so he could see her face. “Oh, really?”

“I had a female problem to attend to.”

After a moment, realization passed over his features. “Oh. Are you feeling all right?”

“I’m not feeling my best but it will pass.”

“I thought you seemed a little sensitive earlier.” He ghosted a hand over her breasts.

She grabbed his hand, stilling it.

“I’m sorry about your nightmare.”

He moved away, turning the light off. Then he slipped under the sheet next to her.

She could hear him bring his teeth together, clenching his jaw.

“Do you really think it’s a memory and not just a nightmare?”

“Sometimes I can’t tell,” he admitted.

“Has it happened before?”

“On occasion. It’s been a while.”

“You never said anything.”

“It isn’t something I like to discuss, Julianne. My memories of my childhood are vague at best. And what I remember, I try to forget.”

“Have you told Dr. Townsend about them?”

“Briefly, yes.” He touched Julia absently, floating his fingertips over her back. “I know very little about my parents.”

“I can understand your anger at your parents. But it isn’t a healthy thing to hold on to.”

“I know that.” He stopped touching her and rolled to his side, facing her. “There might be terrible skeletons in my family’s closet. Could you love me in spite of them?”

“I’d never love you in spite of anything, Gabriel. I just love you.”

He captured her mouth, but only for an instant. They relaxed into the bed, spooning under the covers.

Just as she was about to drift into sleep, Gabriel’s voice sounded in her ear.

“Thank you.”

* * *

The next morning, Julia was sunning herself by the pool before it grew too warm. She wore a large sun hat and a very small blue bikini. Gabriel had persuaded her to purchase the bikini during their trip to Belize before they were married. She had had few occasions to wear it.

She thought back to the previous evening and Gabriel’s nightmare. It had disturbed them both. She couldn’t help but envision what he’d described—his mother on the floor, crawling after the man who fathered her child and abandoned her. Perhaps that image, fictional or otherwise, was part of what generated Gabriel’s intense antipathy to the sight of Julia on her knees. Even now, several months into their marriage, that was one position he couldn’t countenance.