“What title?”

“The title of the textbook: Marriage in the Middle Ages: Love, Sex, and the Sacred.”

“What should it have meant, Gabriel? For all I knew, you’d labeled me as your Héloise and left me. I didn’t have any reason to think otherwise and you didn’t leave me with one.”

He leaned forward, eyes flashing. “The textbook was the reason.

The title, the photo from the orchard, the image of St. Francis trying to save Guido da Montefeltro…” His voice cracked, and he paused,

in agony. “Didn’t you remember our conversation in Belize? I told

you I’d go to Hell to save you. And believe me, I did.”

“I didn’t know you’d sent me messages. I overlooked the textbook

because I didn’t know it was from you. Why didn’t you call me?”

“I couldn’t talk to you,” he whispered. “I was told that the Dean

would interview you prior to your graduation and that he would

ask if you’d heard from me. You’re a lovely woman, Julianne, but a terrible liar. I had to send messages in code.”

Julia’s surprise registered immediately on her face. “You knew

about the interview?”

“I knew about a great many things,” he said stoically. “But I

couldn’t tell. That’s the point.”

“Rachel told me not to despair.” She captured his gaze for a mo-

ment. “But I needed to hear those words from you. Our last night together, you had sex with me, but you wouldn’t talk to me. What

was I supposed to think?”

Tears overflowed her eyes. But before she could wipe them away

with her hand, Gabriel’s tugged her from her safe corner into his

outstretched arms. He pressed her to his chest and kissed her head, before wrapping his arms around her back.

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Somehow, the feel of his arms around her made her cry harder.

He squeezed her gently.

“My pride was my downfall. I thought I could court you while

you were my student and get away with it. I was wrong.”

“I thought you chose your job instead of me.” Julia’s voice was

filled with hurt. “When I discovered you’d moved out of your apartment…Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?”

“I couldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Forgive me, Julianne. My goal was not to hurt you, I promise. I

regret everything that you described.” He kissed her forehead once again. “I need to tell you what happened. It’s a long story. And only you can tell me how it ends…”

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Chapter 45

Julia pulled away so she could see his face better, bracing herself for what was to come. Her sudden movement seemed to cause the

scent of her hair to waft over to him.

“Your hair is different,” he murmured.

“A little longer, perhaps.”

“It doesn’t smell of vanilla anymore.”

“I changed my shampoo.” She sounded curt.

“Why?” Gabriel shifted his body to eliminate the gap between

them.

“Because it reminded me of you.”

“Is that why you aren’t wearing your earrings?” he asked, finger-

ing her earlobe.

“Yes.”

He paused and gazed at her, his hurt evident.

She looked away.

“I love you, Julianne. No matter what you think of me or what

I did, I promise that I was only trying to protect you.”

She moved to lie on her side, careful not to touch him.

“I am your faithful one, Beatrice,” Gabriel quoted, his eyes brimming with emotion. “Please remember that when I tell you what

happened.”

He took a deep breath and said a silent prayer before beginning

his story.

“When you and I appeared before the hearing officers, my hope

was that we would say very little and force them to show what

Sylvain Reynard

evidence they had. But it became clear that they weren’t going to

rest until they’d laid charges and punished us.

“I screwed up when I submitted Katherine’s grade for your work

to the Registrar. Since the administration was worried you’d been

awarded the grade because you were sleeping with me, they were

going to suspend your grade while they investigated further.”

“Could they do that?”

“It’s a provision listed in the policies governing academic behavior.

As long as the grade was incomplete, you wouldn’t be able to graduate.”

Julia blinked at Gabriel as understanding washed over her. “No

Harvard,” she whispered.

“No Harvard this year and probably no Harvard ever, since they

would have been suspicious as to why the University of Toronto was suspending your grade. Even if Harvard never learned the reason,

they have so many applications. Why should they give you a second

thought when they could admit someone with a spotless record?”

Julia sat very still, the weight of his words pressing down on her.

Gabriel scratched at his chin in agitation. “I was afraid the hearing officers were going to ruin your future. But it was my fault. I’m the one who persuaded you that it was safe to get involved with

me; I’m the one who invited you to Italy. I should have waited. My selfishness is what led to all this.”

He gazed into her eyes and lowered his voice. “I’m sorry I ruined

our last night together. I should have talked to you. But all I could think about was how worried I was. I never should have treated you the way I did.”

“I felt so alone the next morning.”

“It was the worst way for me to deal with my anxiety. But I hope

that you believe me when I tell you that it wasn’t just a…” He paused, stumbling. “A fuck to me. Every time we were together it was always, always done with love. I swear.”

Julia dropped her gaze to the futon. “For me too. There’s never

been anyone else, before or since.”

He closed his eyes for an instant, relief coursing through him.

Even though she’d felt angry and betrayed, she hadn’t followed her anger to another man’s arms. She hadn’t given up on him completely.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

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Gabriel’s Rapture

He took a deep breath before continuing. “When you confessed

to our relationship and I saw the Dean’s reaction, I knew we were

caught. My lawyer was prepared to stonewall, hoping that the com-

mittee would excuse me or hand down a ruling that I could challenge in court. But when you confessed, you provided the corroboration

the committee needed.”

“We had an agreement to show a united front. An agreement, Gabriel.” Julia’s voice grew heated.

“I acquiesced to you in good faith, Julianne. But I also promised

that I wouldn’t allow anyone to hurt you or to end your career. That promise takes precedence.”

“An agreement is a promise.”

Gabriel leaned forward. “They were threatening your future. Did

you really expect me to sit there and watch it happen?”

When she didn’t respond, he challenged her. “Did you sit there

and say nothing when they told you they were pursuing charges

against me?”

Her eyes flew to his. “You know I didn’t. I pleaded with them.

They wouldn’t listen.”

“Exactly.” His blue eyes bored into hers. “From whom do you

think I learned about self-sacrifice?”

She shook her head, not bothering to contradict him. “If we

broke the rules, then why didn’t the Dean try to punish both of us?”

“I’m the professor; I should have known better. And Professor

Chakravartty was on your side from the very beginning. She doesn’t think professor-student relationships can be consensual. And sadly for us, they found that old email of yours.”

“So it was my fault.”

Gabriel gently leaned over and brushed the back of his hand

against her cheek. “No. I persuaded you that we could break the

rules and get away with it. And then, instead of taking responsibility for my actions, I sat there behind my lawyer. You were the only one brave enough to tell the truth. And once you did, I had to confess.

“I agreed to accept their sanctions if they brought the investigation to a speedy conclusion. The hearing officers were only too glad to dispose of the matter without a lawsuit and they agreed, promising leniency.”

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Sylvain Reynard

Julia wore a pained expression.

“Unfortunately, their definition of lenience and mine were two

different things. I expected to be censured, not forced to take a leave of absence.”

He scrubbed at his face with his hands. “Jeremy was furious at

the prospect of losing me, even for a semester. I’d caused a scandal that would embarrass not only him but my colleagues and the other

students in the department. Christa was filing a lawsuit against the university too. It was a huge mess, and I was at the root of it.”

“We were at the root of it, Gabriel. I knew the rules, and I broke them too.”

He gave her a half-smile. “The rules are written in such a way as

to excuse the student because the professor is the one with the power.”

“The only power you had over me was love.”

He kissed her softly. “Thank you.”

Gabriel’s heart was full, almost to the brim. She hadn’t looked

back at their time together and viewed him the way the hearing of-

ficers did. She hadn’t recoiled when he kissed her. In fact, her lips had welcomed him. She gave him hope that by the end of his story,