Gabriel closed the document on his computer and traced a light

finger over the photograph of the lovely woman who graced his

computer screen. He would discharge his duty over the next few

days, but he would do so without his Beatrice to comfort him. In

her absence, perhaps he would succumb to his old temptations to

deaden the pain.

268

Chapter 33

On a Friday afternoon in mid-April, Julia arrived at Rachel and

Aaron’s apartment in Philadelphia. Rachel had planned on

visiting her in Toronto and bringing the bridesmaid dress with her, but she had trouble getting the time off work. Since she was trying to save her vacation days for the honeymoon, Julia agreed to leave the comfortable confines of her hobbit hole, instead.

Rachel welcomed her friend with a hug, escorting her to the

living room. Julia eyed the binders of samples and swatches that

covered the coffee table.

“So the wedding planning is finished?”

Rachel shook her head. “Not quite. But I don’t want to talk

about the wedding; I want to talk about you.” She eyed her friend

with a concerned look. “This thing with you and Gabriel was a

complete shock.”

Julia winced. “To me too.”

“He won’t return our calls or answer our emails, and believe me,

we’ve tried. Scott copied me on the email he sent, and it was scathing.

“Did you know that Gabriel was in Selinsgrove a couple of weeks

ago?”

“Selinsgrove?” Julia was dumbfounded. “I thought he was in Italy.”

“Why would he go there?”

“To finish his book. To get away from me.”

“The jackass,” Rachel cursed. “Have you heard from him?”

“Yes. He emailed to notify me that it was over.” Julia retrieved

her purse. She pulled out two keys and a security pass and handed

them to her friend. “These are his.”

Sylvain Reynard

Rachel gazed at the objects with confusion. “What am I sup-

posed to do with them?”

“Keep them. Or give them to your father. I would have mailed

them to Gabriel, but since he doesn’t want contact…”

Rachel placed the offending items on one of her wedding binders.

Then, thinking better of it, she dumped his things into a drawer in one of the end tables, closing it with an oath.

“I know he went to my parents’ old house because one of the

neighbors called my dad. Apparently, Gabriel was up at all hours

playing loud music and prowling around outside.”

Julia’s mind instantly went to the orchard. It seemed reasonable,

she thought, for him to take solace in the one place he’d always been at peace — his Paradise. But since she was tangled up in his memories of that space, she wondered at him going there. Shaking her head,

she put the thought from her mind.

Rachel faced her friend. “I don’t understand why he would do

this. Gabriel loves you. He isn’t the kind of person to love easily, or to say those words without meaning them. That kind of love doesn’t disappear overnight.”

“Maybe he loved his job more. Or maybe he decided to go back

to her.”

“Paulina? Is that what this is about? You didn’t tell me that.”

Rachel’s eyes flashed.

“Up until a year and a half ago, they were still — involved.”

“What?”

“At Christmas, we were fighting about her and, uh, other things.

He told me their history was more recent than I thought.”

“I never so much as heard her name until the day she showed up

at my parents’ house.”

“I knew about her. But when he and I first started dating, he

made it sound as if he ended things with her back at Harvard. In

reality, he’d been carrying on with her for years.”

“You can’t believe that he’d leave you for her, after Florence, after everything.”

“I can believe anything now,” Julia said coolly.

Rachel groaned, placing her hands over her eyes. “What a mess.

My dad is really upset and so is Scott. When he found out that Gabriel 270

Gabriel’s Rapture

was in Selinsgrove, he decided to drive out there so he could knock some sense into him.”

“And did he?”

“Tammy needed him to babysit her little boy. So Scott decided

that he could kick Gabriel’s ass another time.”

Julia smiled wryly. “I can imagine that conversation.”

“Scott is head over heels for Tammy. It’s pretty sickening.”

“I’m glad they’re coming for dinner.”

Rachel looked at her watch. “I should probably start cooking.

They’ll arrive early so they can feed Quinn first. Scott’s life has completely changed. Everything revolves around the baby’s schedule.”

Julia followed her host into the kitchen. “What does your dad

think of her?”

Rachel began rummaging in the fridge. “He likes her. He adores

the baby. You’d think Quinn was his grandson.”

She placed the ingredients for a salad on the counter. “Do you

really think Gabriel would go back to Paulina?”

Julia couldn’t bring herself to say the word aloud, but yes, she

thought it was possible. He’d changed a great deal of his life and his coping mechanisms for her. Now that their relationship was over, it was possible he’d return to his old life.

“She’s familiar territory,” Julia said.

“You make it sound as if she’s western Europe.” Rachel leaned

against the counter. “Do you think the university demanded that he break things off with you?”

“Yes, but how is something like that enforceable? Can they make

him leave the city? Can they tell him what to do in his personal

life, when he’s on a leave of absence? If Gabriel wanted to talk to me, he could have called. He didn’t. The university handed him a

convenient way to break up with me. He was probably planning it

for a while.” Julia crossed her arms around her chest. It was easier to give voice to her deepest fears with Rachel than to dwell on them

when she was alone.

“What a mess,” Rachel repeated, turning to wash her hands.

271

Chapter 34

In the wee hours of the morning, Rachel and Julia were sprawled

across the sofa in their bathrobes, drinking wine and giggling.

Scott, Tammy, and Quinn had long since left, and Aaron had been

asleep for hours. They could hear reverberations of his snoring echo down the hall.

Bolstered by a very good Pinot noir, Julia described what had

happened at the hearing, and Rachel, to her credit, resisted interrupting her.

“I don’t think Gabriel would give you up just to keep his job. He

doesn’t need the money, and he can always work somewhere else.

What I don’t understand is why he wasn’t more explicit about what

he was doing. Why didn’t he grab you afterward and say I love you but we need to wait.” Rachel giggled drunkenly. “Knowing Gabriel, he would have recited something in iambic pentameter just because

he could.”

“He mentioned something about Peter Abelard, but it wasn’t

comforting. Abelard kept his relationship with Héloise secret so he wouldn’t lose his teaching position. Then he sent her to a convent.”

Rachel reached over to pick up a pillow and threw it at her friend’s head. “He isn’t going to send you to a convent. He loves you. And I refuse to believe otherwise.”

Julia clutched the pillow to her chest as she reclined on her side.

“If he loved me, he wouldn’t leave me. He wouldn’t have broken up

with me via email.”

“Do you really think that Gabriel was stringing you along for fun?”

“No. But that doesn’t matter now.”

Rachel yawned loudly. “Whatever he did, he screwed up. I’m

wondering if he isn’t trying to protect you in some way.”

Gabriel’s Rapture

“He could have texted me and said just that.”

Rachel threw an arm over her eyes. “That’s the part I don’t under-

stand. He could have asked us to give you a message. He could have written you a letter. Why didn’t Gabriel tell the university to shove it?”

Julia rolled onto her back, asking herself a similar question.

Rachel retrieved her cell phone from the coffee table. “Do you

want to call him?”

“No.”

“Why not? Maybe he’ll answer, thinking it’s me.”

“It’s the middle of the night and I’m drunk. It’s not exactly the

best time to have a conversation. Plus, he told me not to contact him.”

Rachel shook the phone in front of her. “If you’re hurting, so

is he.”

“I left him a message saying that if he ever wants to talk to me, he needs to do it face to face. I’m not calling him again.” Julia downed the last of her wine in one swallow.

“Maybe he’ll be at graduation.” Julia sighed, a wistful look on

her face. All her anger and frustration hadn’t eliminated her longing for him. At least, not all of it.

“When’s graduation?”

“June eleventh.”

Rachel swore obliquely at the lateness of the date.

After a few minutes of shared silence, Julia decided to voice one

of her other, greater fears.

“Rachel?”

“Uh huh?”

“What if he sleeps with her?”

Rachel was quiet for a moment. So quiet, Julia began to repeat

the question, but her friend interrupted. “If Gabriel were cruel, then maybe he’d screw someone else. But I can’t imagine him doing that