It was as if his thoughts conjured her from thin air. Suddenly she was standing in the doorway to the office.
“Christie, it’s time to wash up for dinner.”
“We’re rescuing the princess. She needs me.”
“The princess will still be here after dinner, or even tomorrow,” he said. “Look, I can save the game in progress.” He showed her how to move the arrow, then click the command. When the screen had returned to the main menu, he swiveled the chair around and let Christie slide off his lap.
“I want to play again,” Christie said as she skipped toward her mother.
“I’m sure you will.” Erin gave him a weary smile. “I did warn you she was a handful.”
“She’s worth it,” he said.
“You’re right.” She touched her daughter’s shoulder. “Did you say thank you?”
Christie smiled shyly. “Thank you for playing with me.”
“You’re welcome. I enjoyed it, too.”
The little girl dashed toward the stairs. Erin glanced after her, then returned her attention to him. “You were worried about getting along with her, but it’s not so hard.”
“You’re right. I’ve enjoyed having her here.”
“She’s had a great time, too. See you at dinner.” She followed Christie to the stairs.
Parker watched her go. He found himself studying the gentle swaying of her hips. By now he’d grown used to the low level awareness he felt whenever she was around. If he didn’t touch her or get too close, he could keep it under control.
What surprised him was the more he was around Erin, the more he remembered Stacey. Or maybe it wasn’t all that startling. After all, they were twins. But he didn’t see their similarities as much as he saw their differences.
He remembered Stacey being intense and emotional. Erin was as bright as her sister, although in a different way. She didn’t converse knowledgeably about computer programming, but she was well-read. Her quirky humor often made him laugh in spite of himself. If not for that damn awareness, he would be perfectly comfortable around her.
He turned his chair until he was facing his computer screen again. He could go back to work on that program that was giving him so much trouble. He reached for the mouse, then pushed it away. He still didn’t have the solution so there was no point in wasting time. What he needed was a flash of brilliance. What he needed was Robin.
The thought propelled him from his chair. He crossed the office and headed for his bedroom. The master suite was close to the stairs. As he entered the large room, he glanced at the sleigh bed, and antique nightstand and dresser he’d found in the attic. Old and new blended well. He had Kiki to thank for that. When he’d redone his bedroom, she’d helped him pick out fabric and decide which pieces to use. He’d made the change in an effort to forget. It hadn’t helped much.
He crossed to the closet and quickly shrugged out of his dress shirt and trousers. After pulling on jeans, he buttoned the fly then returned to the dresser in the bedroom for a sweatshirt.
He slipped his arms into the soft fleece, then paused to look at the picture on top of the dresser. It showed Robin working at her computer. She hadn’t known she was being photographed. Oversize glasses slipped down her nose as she leaned back and stared at the screen. Her jeans were torn, her boots scuffed, her sweater slipping off one shoulder. The photo captured her at a moment of inspiration. Her wide mouth turned up in a smile while her arms were extended, palms up, in a gesture of victory.
He’d seen her that way dozens of times. For a while he hadn’t been able to look at the pictures without feeling pain. Now it gave him a bittersweet connection to the past.
He looked around the room and wondered if he’d been hasty in moving. The original master suite had been down the hall. He’d gutted two bedrooms and a bathroom, then converted them into the new master. The old suite had been divided into the second-floor library and storage. He’d sold the furniture he and Robin had used. It had been his way of trying to get on with his life. It hadn’t helped much.
He pulled the sweatshirt over his head then grabbed a pair of socks and his athletic shoes. He knew he would always love Robin and he would always miss her, yet the past week had taught him an important lesson. Having Christie in his life had shown him that five years after the fact he might finally be ready to let go of Robin. Maybe it was time to stop living in black-and-white.
When he got downstairs, Kiki was alone in the kitchen. She’d changed from her jogging suit into wool slacks and a sweater.
“I see you have a date tonight,” he said. “Which one is it?”
She raised her eyebrows and smiled. “Skip.”
“Ah, so I won’t expect you before dawn.”
“Maybe not even then. The chili is done. It can simmer until you’re ready to eat. I mixed up corn bread. Pop it into the oven for thirty minutes.” She leaned against the counter and stared at him. “You know it wouldn’t hurt you to try it once and a while. If you still remember how.”
He pulled a bottle of beer out of the refrigerator and opened the top. “The corn bread? I’ll have some tonight.”
“Not food, Parker. A woman.”
Dammit, why did people insist on saying things like that when he was drinking? He swallowed, then choked. After coughing for a couple of minutes, he could finally breathe again.
“Kiki,” he said warningly.
She ignored him. “I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
She walked to the island and braced her hands on the counter. Blue eyes met and held his gaze. “It’s been five years, Parker. That’s a long time to miss someone.”
He turned away and stared out the window. “It doesn’t matter how long it’s been, I still love Robin. I’ll always love her.”
“And I’ll always love my son, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to forget I’m alive. That’s what you’ve been doing all these years. You’re a walking corpse.”
“Thanks for the compliment.”
“I’m only saying this because I care about you. You have needs.”
He groaned silently. “My needs and I are just fine, thank you.”
“Are you? Really? What about the difference Christie has made in your life?”
He couldn’t deny that. “I like having her here.”
“Being alive isn’t so bad, is it?”
He glanced at his housekeeper. “Leave it alone, Kiki. It’s none of your business.”
“Bull.” She moved in front of him and tilted her head back as she stared at him. The fact that he was nearly a foot taller didn’t seem to intimidate her in the least. “I’ve seen how you look at her.”
What was she talking about? “Christie?”
“Erin.”
For one horribly uncomfortable moment he was afraid she’d been able to read his mind. He was willing to admit he might have felt the odd moment of desire, but so what? “She’s Christie’s mother.”
“So? That only makes it more convenient.”
“I’m not interested in convenient.”
“You’re not interested in anything.”
He took another sip of beer. “Maybe I should be like you and have several lovers.”
She smiled. She made a fist and gave him a mock punch in the upper arm. “You’re not the type, Hamilton. You couldn’t handle the pressure to perform.”
“I’m flattered,” he said dryly as she crossed to the small table in front of the window and collected her purse.
“Don’t take it so personally.” She headed for the door. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
He stared after her. “Kiki?”
“Yes?” She paused.
“I’ve been thinking of asking Erin to extend the visit. Would you mind?”
Her smile was blinding. “Finally. Of course I don’t mind. It would be terrific to have Christie here. Plus you’d have more time to work on her mother.”
“Erin is off limits.”
“Where did that rule come from?”
“I just made it up. I don’t want to complicate my relationship with Christie by getting involved with Erin.”
“Sure.” Kiki nodded. “Falling in love with Erin, marrying her and living with the two of them forever would be a real complication. I can see why you’re determined to avoid it.”
He let her sarcasm wash over him. It didn’t matter what she said, he couldn’t change his mind. After Robin, he’d sworn never to risk love again. The price was too high for everyone involved.
“I hear them coming this way,” Kiki said, then opened the door. “Ask her. I’ll be expecting good news in the morning.”
Ask Erin now? “I was thinking of mentioning it later in the week.”
“Figures. Just like I said, Parker, you can’t perform under pressure. Bye.”
The door slammed behind her just as Erin walked into the room. “Was that Kiki?” she asked.
“Yeah. She’s got one of her dates.”
“Oh, which one?”
“Skip.”
Erin grinned. “She won’t be back until morning.”
Her humor was contagious. “I wouldn’t count on it. You want a beer?”
“Sure, I’ll get it.” Erin opened the refrigerator. “She mixed up some corn bread and left it in here. If you tell me what time you want to eat, I’ll heat it up.”
“Say a half hour?”
“That will make Christie happy. She’s in your study watching a cartoon program that ends in-” she glanced at her watch “-twenty-seven minutes.”
After slipping the corn bread into the oven, she sat on one of the stools by the center island. Parker took the one next to her. Erin uncapped her beer and took a sip, then glanced at him.
“I have to admit I admire Kiki. She knows what she wants, and she does it.”
“Is this specifically about her having three lovers or are you talking in generalities?”
Erin ducked her head but not before he saw a faint blush stain her cheeks. “Oh, I just meant her philosophy about life. Not having regrets.”
“What regrets do you have?”
She thought for a moment. “None where Christie is concerned. I don’t regret what I had to give up to keep her or be a good mother. But sometimes I wonder if I needed to give up everything I did. Maybe I could have made a few compromises.” She shrugged. “It’s hard to say now.”
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