Suzanne Wright - From Rags

She tried to hold back a smile but half of it surfaced. “Maybe a bit.” Though he’d confessed his weakness for her, Jaxxon couldn’t bring herself to do the same. It was worth noting that if she did he’d poop his pants thinking she wanted more. But that wasn’t her reason: she couldn’t do the same because whereas he’d walk away from this okay, she wouldn’t. He missed her because she was his addiction – addictions can be cured. He’d walked away from her once before and been just fine. She missed him because she cared about him too much for her liking. That wouldn’t go away. She knew that because she’d cared for him this much since she was twelve, even when he’d left. Still she was resolute that if her feelings ever evolved into something stronger she’d be gone faster than Houdini out of a knot.

After a shower to wash away the after-effects of their food fight – a shower during which they savoured the joys of oral sex before having another shag for good measure – Jaxxon and Connor collapsed onto the luxurious bed in the challet. Jaxxon could only assume that they had been a little noisy because Anna was blasting one of her C.D.s ridiculously loud. Either that or she and Warren were using the music to disguise the sounds of their own fun.

She was glad that the couple was no longer in danger of arguing. After all, it wasn’t Warren’s fault that Connor was a lunatic. A lunatic who had gone striding from the restrooms with Jaxxon slung over his shoulder; he’d been too impatient to get her out of the restaurant and her legs had been too unsteady after their reunion in the ladies’ to match his pace. They had tried making a massive apology to the maître d' for the food fight but he actually thanked them for their dispute, suspecting it would get his restaurant new publicity.

“Ow,” whined Jaxxon as Connor sharply tugged her to him, snuggling her naked body into his. She was surprised when he did nothing more than hold her comfortably close and play with her wet ringlets. “How long are you staying?”

“I was thinking of leaving Monday, same as you.”

So this really isn’t just a stop off to get his jollies. Jaxxon couldn’t decide if that was a good or bad thing. The fourteen year old girl in her was absolutely thrilled and reading all kinds of crap into it. But twenty-two year old Jaxxon knew better: it was likely that even if he had missed her, something she wouldn’t have believed if she hadn’t seen it in his eyes, his main reason for coming was because he was too possessive to cope with the idea of other blokes being around her without him being there. And there was the fact that he was insatiable.

“How’s the holiday been going?”

“Me and Anna have had a right laugh. We’ve moved onto the intermediate slopes now.”

“Yeah? Do me a favour: don’t take it too hard when I beat your arse on those slopes tomorrow. You were always a bad loser.”

“You were the bad loser. I remember you swiped the board when I was winning at Monopoly. That time when I beat you on the go-karts you didn’t speak to me for about an hour.”

He chuckled, idly drawing circles on her back with his index finger and marveling at how soft her skin was. “You must be thinking of Roland.”

“I take it you’ve been skiing before.”

“Not in France, but yeah. I went with Dane and Warren a few times before Dane married Niki. I’ll begrudgingly admit that Warren’s the better skier. You ever been abroad before?”

“No. You know, I never pictured myself going skiing.”

A lot of things Jaxx said made Connor feel like he’d had a punch to the gut. He’d been abroad more times than he could count. To think that each time he’d been away having a ball with his mates Jaxx had been all alone, concentrating on nothing more than getting by. “I did very nearly come to see you once, you know.” His voice was low, full of regret. “It was your fifteenth – the first birthday I’d missed since meeting you.”

At the very mention of that birthday she stiffened. “It doesn’t matter.” She tried to think of a subject change but the memories of that day hit her too hard.

He felt her tense. Had he really hurt her that much? He hated himself right now. “I didn’t stay away because I didn’t care, Jaxx. It was just…I had this vision of going to see you and” – subconsciously he held her tighter – “you either laughing at the fact that I’d even turned up, or seeing you with someone. I’d have beaten them to a pulp, Jaxx, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself. I figured you were better off without a person like me in your life.”

She was glad he hadn’t turned up that day. Even though she had come to terms with what had happened, it wasn’t something she enjoyed sharing, and there would have been no way of keeping it from him if he had come. But if he had just turned up even once before that day then so much may not have happened. She had never truly put any blame on Connor, especially because that would mean absolving others to some extent of their actions. But if he hadn’t done what he did to those blokes before leaving, if he hadn’t made them want revenge so badly then maybe…No. She wouldn’t dwell on the ‘what ifs’. Pain was just part of life.

“You’re miles away, Jaxx.” She tensed again, and he noticed that she was still keeping her eyes tightly shut as if afraid her secrets might shine from them. “Look, I was wrong to expect you to tell me the ins and outs of everything. I just hated that you didn’t feel like you could confide in me the way you used to. But I see that’s my own fault. What I’m trying to say is that I’m not going to pressure you to tell me anything again, but if you ever want to…”

That stunned her. It didn’t sound like Connor. Warily she opened her eyes…and saw only sincerity in his. As if to assure her it was the truth, he brought his lips to hers. It wasn’t one of his demanding, dominating kisses. It was soft and drugging and she felt herself de-tensing.

“There’s something I need to know, though, Jaxx,” he said as he cupped her face. “I need to know that you believe me that I never touched that selfish bitch.”

She found that she actually did believe him. Even though she hadn’t allowed herself to think about him or their argument during the holiday, it was almost as if a part of her brain had been subconsciously sorting things out. He was right about her sister. Leah hadn’t been able to form a sentence that didn’t have some deception within it, and Jaxxon had always preferred to believe those lies than believe that her sister would have this need to hurt her all the time. “I believe you.” He gave her another one of those drugging kisses, this one filled with relief. Hoping to escape the subject now, she said, “I need to get some PJs on.”

“You’ll have my body heat to keep you warm.” He dragged the pile of blankets and bulky duvet over them. “Now sleep.”

Sleep? “You’re going to stay with me the whole night?”

“Mm-hm.”

“But -”

“Jaxx, sleep.” He knew what she was thinking: that this wasn’t something he did, that there were other rooms. He didn’t want to properly acknowledge that he actually wanted to lie with her and simply hold her while they slept, or that he liked the idea of her being there when he woke up. He’d never seen the attraction in that before. He didn’t want to explore why he did now.

With morning time came the discovery of the magic of morning sex, something Connor intended to make the most of during the remainder of the trip. If he was right and Warren was itching to comment on Connor having slept in the same bed as a woman the entire night, he held himself back. Wise man. After breakfast they all bundled up warm and there was no restraining the smile that spread on his face at the sight of Jaxx – even though she looked as though she was about to go strolling on the moon she was absolutely adorable and, amazingly, her movements were still as sensual as always.

“You’re dying to laugh, aren’t you,” observed Jaxxon.

“What I’m dying to do is rip all that stuff off you,” he said as he grabbed her waist and yanked her against him. “I don’t like knowing that there’s that much between your skin and mine, and I really don’t like that I’ll have such a big job getting to your body.”

“The hard work will do you good.”

“It’s going to be a lengthy job. Maybe I should start it now.”

“Jaxxon!” Anna yelled out from her bedroom. “Your phone’s ringing!”

Jaxxon dashed from the living room to her own bedroom and dug deep into her bag. “Morning Oliver,” she greeted as she answered.

“You know,” began Ollie, “I really shouldn’t be surprised to hear that you had a food fight in the middle of a posh restaurant, but I actually am.”

“I take it the papers got wind of it.” That was going to make the maître d' very happy.

“I’m looking at a very interesting photograph of you with a face like thunder drowning McKenzie in red wine.”

Jaxxon suspected that Connor wasn’t going to see the funny side of that photo having been seen worldwide. “He ruined my sweater.”

“You told me it was just you and Anna going away by yourselves.”

“That’s because it was the truth. Connor and Warren paid us an unexpected visit.”

“There’s also a photo of him carting you over his shoulder out of the ladies’ restrooms where, according to the tabloids, you both had been arguing.”

“At least they thought that it was arguing we were doing,” she mistakenly said aloud.

“What?”

Moving quickly onwards… “We did apologise to the maître d' but he was ecstatic about the idea of his restaurant getting publicity. I take it the tabloids see us as nothing more than wild animals now.”