Jill Shalvis - Free Fall

But damn it, she stood outside her office needing something to do so she could turn her damn mind off.

"Hey," Logan said, and tugged her around to face him. "It's late. Why don't you sleep?"

"I don't want to be asleep if Matt needs me."

"He's got plenty of care. Chris came in to be with him for a while."

"But-"

"The snow's still coming down, but the radar confirms a letup coming in a few hours," he said. "I double-checked with the hospital. They're sending an ambulance for Matt soon as the roads clear."

The long, tenuous rescue came back to her-witnessing Mart's incredible pain, knowing that if he'd been out there any longer they might have lost him. And just like that, she broke. "Oh, God."

He opened his arms, bringing them hard around her. "Hey, he's going to be okay. He's going to be in a helluva lot of pain for a while, but he's going to be okay."

She nodded and let herself cling, pressing her face to his throat, inhaling the innate scent of him that she'd grown so attached to in just a matter of days. In only one more, he'd be gone. He'd already be gone if Mother Nature hadn't intervened. She tightened her arms.

He let out a low sound and held on. "You never changed your clothes after the rescue."

"I'm okay."

"You've got to be chilled. Come on, let's go get you warm. Maybe get some sleep, too. Sara and Gwyneth have everything under control." Before she could protest, he'd led her to her room, nudged her inside and toward the bathroom for a hot shower.

She had to admit the hot water on her sore, chilled body felt incredible, but something was missing. Someone. She slid open the curtain to call out for Logan, but he was right there, waiting with dark, melting eyes. "In," she said, and tugged him into the shower, clothes and all.

Laughing softly, he hauled her close and kissed her, long and slow. She had no idea how he could make her feel so cherished and yet so hot and itchy at the same time, but he did. He always did. Together they stripped him out of his clothes, but when she tried to wrap her legs around him to draw him inside her body, he shook his head. "In the bed," he said softly against her mouth.

But her body was already humming, throbbing and halfway to bliss because of that shocking way he had of getting her to come with seemingly no effort. "Logan-"

"Bed." And he lifted her himself, dropping her, wet and still steaming, to the mattress, following her down.

She shouldn't want him now, Lily thought, even as her breath hitched and she opened her arms, welcoming Logan's weight. Not like this, as if she needed him more than life itself. She shouldn't be able to lose herself in him with so much on her mind, but she could. She did.

She was afraid she always would.

The night was a dark one, with no moon and only the glow of the steadily falling snow slanting in the window and over the bed like a pale night-light. Just enough to see his face, taut with desire for her. His eyes, dark and deep, his firm mouth curved as it met hers.

Her blood stirred, as it always did with him, and with it came a low, throbbing need she'd never experienced with anyone else, making her heart beat with a heavy anticipation.

Gliding his fingers in her hair, his thumbs tilted her jaw up so that he could study her face. "Lily," he said, and then took her mouth, coaxing it open with warm lips and a hot tongue that danced to hers in a way that made her melt.

He always made her melt, just by looking at her, just by being. His hands slid up and down her back as he continued to kiss her, slow and deep, his fingers skimming down her hips, cupping her bottom, squeezing gently as his mouth made its way down her throat, over her collarbone, licking and nibbling and tasting as he went. He drew her breast into his mouth as his hand dipped between her thighs, making her ache with an easy touch that seemed even more intense and arousing every time.

Repetition had always bored her, but nothing about Logan came even close. In fact, his familiarity with her body only made it all the more exciting, and it built within her, layer over layer of heat and affection in the dark, cold night.

Even when she gasped out his name and dug her nails into his flesh as she began to shudder, he kept at her, leisurely and steadily, achingly so.

He wasn't unaffected. His skin was damp and heated, his heart pounded fiercely against hers. His breath caught when she returned the favor and skimmed her hands over every inch of him. When she replaced her fingers with her tongue, it tore a rough groan from him, and when she took him too close to the edge, he pulled free. Tumbling her to her back on the mattress, he held her busy hands at her sides, nuzzling his way past her belly button, between her thighs. He brought her to a peak with his mouth, his moan mixing with hers as she shuddered in ecstasy for long, lost moments. "Again," he whispered against her wet, hot flesh.

Arching, every pulse point pounding, she reached for him, needing more than anything for him to sink into her, mate with her, needing to give herself over to him and have him do the same. She wanted to see it, to watch his face as he did, the hunger so vivid and real, her throat burned, her eyes filled.

When he finally lifted her hips and slid into her, she felt her heart give, and as she let him in, a tear slid down her cheek, sweet and sorrowful at the same time. The last time, she thought. This was the last time for him to hold her, touch her… She couldn't even think it, so she pushed it out of her head and rocked to him, breathing his name as he breathed hers. He thrust in deeply as he kissed her, giving her his body, his heart and soul. Love for her flickered in his dark eyes, and her own heart and soul stumbled.

And fell.

And still she watched him love her, watched as the pleasure crossed his face, watched as he let himself go, holding nothing back.

And then fell all the more for it.

***

Lily woke up slowly, a LITTLE groggily. Turning her head, she caught a glimpse of the clock. Four in the morning. She'd slept for only an hour.

She lay entwined with Logan, her hand on his chest, absorbing his slow, deep breathing while she stared at the ceiling in the dark. Sex had always been a fun way to pass the time. But with Logan, it was so far beyond fun, she couldn't even define it. And even she, a virgin in the love department, knew this hadn't been just sex.

No, they'd made love, slow and sweet and hot and unbearably heart-and-soul-wrenching. It was too much, too fast. Any sane person would agree.

Some big risk taker she'd turned out to be. But the truth was, hanging off a cliff had never been as hard as this.

Nothing had. She felt panicked, with none of her usual peace and strength anywhere to be found.

Over the past years, she'd believed Bay Moon had provided that peace and strength. But for the first time she understood it wasn't the mountain supplying them at all. No, they'd come from within her.

Only they were both missing now. She slipped out of the bed and, in the dark, let herself take one last glimpse of the man who'd changed her life just by being in it for a week. Then she turned away, dressed and slipped out of the room.

The lodge was quiet, a good thing at this hour. On her way to check on Matt, she stopped in her office and checked the weather radar. The snow had just let up, but the break would last only until midday. She checked for messages. The ambulance was on its way. Chris had the crews out clearing the lot.

People would have to work fast to get on and off the mountain today. Including Logan.

She'd already gotten more time with him than expected, she reminded herself. Last night had been a bonus. She'd never forget it.

She made her way toward First Aid. Matt was flat on his back, his leg immobilized, the IV the hospital had asked for hanging above him. He was fast asleep. Sara lay beside him, carefully draped over his good side, also asleep. They had their faces nuzzled close to each other.

They were so in love it hurt to look at them. How had Sara done it, let herself fall? And why hadn't she faced any of the panic that Lily faced? What made it so easy for some?

And so hard for her?

In his sleep, Matt groaned, a sound of pain, and Sara immediately cupped his face, stroking him gently until he settled in again. Lily knew Sara would do anything for Matt, including taking his pain on herself if she could.

Her heart squeezed. She'd do the same for Logan, and the thought made her feel raw and open, too much so. Vulnerable. God, she couldn't take it. Her heart hurt, her vision blurred-

A hand settled on her shoulder and she nearly jerked out of her skin. Whipping around, she came face-to-face with Logan. "You scared me," she whispered, putting a hand to her bruised heart.

His eyes locked on hers. He reached out and stroked away the tear she hadn't even realized she'd let fall. "What is it?"

What was it? She had no idea where to start, and she was afraid that if she tried, she'd fall apart. "I don't know."

"Yes, you do." He turned her to face where Matt and Sara lay, entangled together as if they'd been made for each other. One so hurt, the other lending their strength and support and love. "You know exactly," he said softly in her ear. "You're looking at them, yearning for what they have. Why the hell can't you admit it?"

Straightening away from him, she swiped at her tears and crossed her arms over her chest. Closing herself off.

But he just looked at her, patience shining in his eyes.