C. Brown - Fraternizing

She looked up at me again, worry staining her face. I kissed her forehead, prompting her to continue.

“The last six months of high school, I had this boyfriend, Colton. I was a virgin, he was my very first boyfriend, and I thought I was totally in love. He told me every smooth thing under the sun, promising me forever while pushing me to further cement our love by sleeping with him. I didn’t give in at first, but after a few times I finally did, thinking it was going to be like unicorns floating on big puffy white clouds. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Colton did what he had to do to make himself feel good, not caring about me. When it was over, I was hurt...so ashamed and feeling like a piece of trash. He promised that it was just because it was my first time, so I continued on in hopes that it would get better. It never did.”

I played with her hair as she continued speaking, fury festering inside of me at this dickwad who I didn’t even know, who shouldn’t have even mattered. He sounded like a weasel, and a slick one at that. The fire burned brighter as the sun set, and the winds picked up, making me wrap my arms around her even tighter.

“So in my last few months of high school, I started to feel very sluggish and had a hard time getting to school in the morning. That wasn’t like me, so one of the only two friends I had, Jenny, tells me to take a pregnancy test. I thought the idea was absurd, so I brushed it off, but after a few more days of the same thing, I finally did it. It came back positive, and I could have died. I saw was my life evaporating before my eyes. My mom was so high on pills that I would go home and cry in my room for hours. I’d cry at school in the bathroom. I just didn’t know what I would do.”

“What did you do?”

“I finally told my mom and shit hit the fan. In the midst of her screaming came pushing, then punching. She told me that she’d have me at the clinic first thing the next morning to take care of my problem.”

I heard sniffles as she gently wiped away a couple of tears.

“I told her there was no way that I was doing that. That I would just have to find a way to make it work. That turned into an all-out assault. I showed up to school the next day with a swollen, busted lip and a few bruises, but the beatings continued. Whenever she got pissed at whatever it was that pissed her off, it triggered her anger, sending her fists and defamatory words flying my way. She didn’t even show up to my graduation. She refused because she said it meant nothing since I wouldn’t be doing shit with myself afterwards.”

Her voice was broken by the end. How anyone could treat another living soul, especially their own flesh and blood, the way her mom had treated her was unreal to me. I had always heard about shitty parents, but never with anyone that I personally knew.

“What the fuck did that mean? You had a fucking scholarship lined up.”

“You aren’t familiar with BYU are you?”

I shook my head. College wasn’t a high priority for me when I was growing up.

“Well, BYU is a highly religious school, and there are rules prohibiting pre-marital sex. You could be kicked out of school for it. So, showing up pregnant wouldn’t have been a good idea.”

I nodded my head. That was news to me.

“So what happened with Colton?” I asked, feeling like I could rip his balls off and shove them down his throat if I ever got the chance to meet him.

“I was probably three months along, getting closer to graduation when I told him. He was surprised and looked sick, but said he loved me and would be there for me and our baby. I was excited since I had been having such a rough go around with my mom. But the closer we inched towards graduation, the more distant he became until he just stopped talking to me altogether. His mom told me that she would file a restraining order if I didn’t stop harassing him. I was shattered. He had been promising me so much, and to turn his back on me like that really broke me. It tore me apart.”

I couldn’t take anymore. I stood up, needing to walk as the blood felt like it had stopped circulating through my body, leaving me completely uncomfortable. I placed my hands on the sides of my face, rubbing as I tried to allow of this to sink in.

“Where the fuck is this guy now?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. He took a basketball scholarship to some school in Florida, and I haven’t heard anything about him since.”

“And the baby?”

Her head lowered as she began to speak. “After graduation, my mom told me I had to get a job and pay my way, so I did. I got a job at a fast food restaurant, working full time so that I could save enough money to get an apartment and take care of my baby. Well, at six months, I was at work and I slipped in the back room, falling hard. I thought I was okay and went back to work, but the cramping grew more and more intense and I knew something was wrong. I went to the bathroom, hoping that a quick splash of cold water on my face would help me, but then I saw blood, and I knew everything was not okay.”

Those earlier sniffles were turning to sobs, and I rushed back over to her, pulling her up to her feet and into my arms. Her head was buried into my shoulder, my hands running over the back of her head as she worked hard to speak again. She was finally able to compose herself and started speaking.

“When I got to the hospital, the doctors told me that I’d lost the baby. My mom was thrilled, breaking my heart even more. I continued to work, but it never seemed like I was getting ahead. Her pill popping continued, her alcohol use picked back up, and whenever she would get into her world, she’d start harping on how I was such a burden, and if I hadn’t been such a little whore, I could have been at BYU learning something. I couldn’t take it anymore. After a few more fights where I finally fought back, I decided it was time to join the military and get the hell out.”

A smile finally touched my lips. “So you decided to become a Devil Dog?”

“I did,” she said. Her eyes were a glossy shade of green now, thanks to her tears. “I joined the Corps, much to my mom’s dislike. She said I wasn’t strong enough for it and that I wouldn’t make it past bootcamp. When I did, she said I wouldn’t make it in the Marines because I was weak and didn’t have what it takes. Every day her words haunt and push me to be better and do something for myself.”

I gently moved the loose strands of hair from her face. “I’m glad you did. Even if us being together is grounds for all sorts of horrible shit.”

“I know. I think about that all the time, but I don’t want to be away from you.”

“And you won’t be, not as long as I have any say in the matter.”

Disbelief flittered through her eyes, seizing my breath. I knew she had every right to be apprehensive, but not with me. I wanted her—no, needed her—to see that I wasn’t like the rest of the pricks who had done her wrong.

“Hey, I am not fucking Colton, or your shitty ass mom. I’m Alex, the guy putting everything on the line in hopes that you will give yourself to me. I will never treat you the way those assholes have treated you. You understand that?”

She nodded her head, shyly looking into my eyes.

I tilted her chin up, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “I’d rather strap a suicide vest to my body and let you hit the trigger before I ever do what those two selfish assholes have done to you.”

I kissed her again, this time hard and passionate, hoping she could feel what I was trying to tell her. Both of my hands held tightly to her face, encasing her beautiful features as I allowed my mouth to pour out my deep seated feelings for her. She held firmly to my ass, squeezing tightly as the kiss intensified. When we finally pulled apart, both of us were breathing hard and staring at one another.

“You mean the fucking world to me. You better know that.”

“I do.” She finally smiled, still holding on to my ass. 

Cassie

Pouring my heart out to Alex, on the beach, next to a brimming fire, was definitely not what I had in mind for my getaway trip. Some of the things I’d just shared with him were things that my own friends didn’t know. The fact that they came pouring out of my mouth like water somewhat frightened me. I had reached a very critical point in my budding relationship with him, one that I swore I wouldn’t get to so easily again, and the fact that it happened at warp speed shell shocked me. But it also laid some of my demons to rest. Holding that info inside for so long had done some things to me; had hardened me even when I came across as easy going and upbeat. Alex had just wriggled it out of me without much effort, and it showed me that what we had truly was worth working for.

After he kissed me a few more times, telling me everything would be okay and that I was safe with him, he pulled graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows out of his bag. I was interested in seeing what else he had stuffed into that bag, but he wouldn’t show me, telling me that I would find out in due time.

I sat on his lap, a couple of marshmallows on the skewer over the fire. Alex had the crackers and chocolate waiting for me, and after burning them just right, he took them and completed the s’more. The gooey goodness was a scrumptious treat after such a traumatic and emotionally honest session. My past was nothing to be proud of, but Alex made me feel like it didn’t matter. Like I was walking on clouds and that none of it had ever happened.

I finished my s’more, then twisted around to trace Alex’s lips with some of the residual chocolate left on my fingers. He tried to lick it off before I could, our tongues bumping into the other as we fought over the sweet treat. He fingered my hips, lingering on my tattoo.